uhhh

I was just fooling around on the UVic website, seeing if my final two grades were posted yet, and I came across a list of all the semesters of tuition I payed.

Hm, let's see...

$2607.68
and
$2037.99
and
$2685.40
and
2655.93

Yeah, that sounds about right...oh there's more?

$2833.28
and
$2400.93
and
$2250.00

And there was something for $16 which is weird. But apparently I payed it and forgot what it was.

So yeah.

$17487.21

...and that's just one of four schools I've attended.

ouch.

Well, I am now playing the waiting game. One (not too difficult) exam to go. I've finished the other four courses completely and am already going to the UVic website every few hours to see if my grades are posted. Even though they get a week after the final assignment or exam is handed in. I check. Check again. Check.

So far one was posted. A minus. HOLY SHIT! I half-assed the hell out of that class and was expecting a C. I was okay with a C. C's get degrees! Woo! Great attitude, me.

Anyway in checking my grades I stumbled upon my (unofficial) academic record ...

Looking at the list, knowing I don't have to dive back into that academic mess and jump through any more of their hoops, the list is rather impressive. To me. I'm like "Wow, I did that? That's cool."

See for yourself.


Between Mount Royal College, la Universidad de Colima and the University of Calgary I took:

Chinese:beginner
French : beginner
German : beginner
Linguistics:introduction 1
Linguistics: introduction 2
Linguistics: introduction to phonetics and phonology
Linguistics: introduction to morphology and syntax
Linguistics: psycholinguistics
Linguistics: developmental psycholinguistics
Linguistics: sociolinguistics
Philosophy
Psychology
Sociology :
Spanish: beginner 1
Spanish:beginner 2
Spanish: review - grammar and conversation
Women's Studies

At stupid Camosun College I took:

English (2 stupid courses)
Human Geography
Asian Pacific Studies
Writing (2 courses)

And then there's the UVic era.

German: beginner 2
Linguistics:Second Language Acquisition
Linguistics:Methods: Language Teaching
Linguistics:Issues in Cross-Cultural Communication
Russian: beginner
German: beginner 2
Beginner's German 2
Linguistics:Issues in Applied Linguistics
Seminar and Practicum in Applied Linguistics
Beginner's Russian 2
Spanish: Review Grammar and Conversation
Spanish: Advanced Composition, Translation and Style 1
Spanish: Advanced Composition, Translation and Style 2
Beginner's Italian 1&2
Linguistics: Minority Language Issues
Linguistics: Language and Gender
Greek&Roman Studies: Contribution to the English Language
Linguistics: Intro to the Grammar of English Usage
Spanish: Latin American Culture
Spanish: Literature Since 1700
Spanish:Spanish American Literature 1492-1900
Spanish: Advanced Composition, Translation and Style 3
Spanish: Latin American Film - Mexican Cinema

and I'm just finishing up:
Spanish: Literary Origin to 1700
Spanish: Topics in Latin American Studies
Spanish: Spanish Culture
Spanish: Spanish American Literature Since 1900
Spanish:Modern Latin American Literature & Visual Arts


And I'm sitting here looking at this extensive list of awesome sounding courses and wondering how school managed to make them so stressful and boring and EWWW.

Well, I am now playing the waiting game. One (not too difficult) exam to go. I've finished the other four courses completely and am already going to the UVic website every few hours to see if my grades are posted. Even though they get a week after the final assignment or exam is handed in. I check. Check again. Check.

So far one was posted. A minus. HOLY SHIT! I half-assed the hell out of that class and was expecting a C. I was okay with a C. C's get degrees! Woo! Great attitude, me.

Anyway in checking my grades I stumbled upon my (unofficial) academic record ... I have taken a butt-load of classes, guys. And my grades completely reflect how my life was going at the time.

All of my transfer credits from other schools were awarded as ... TR credits. No grade. Pass/fail yo. Too bad I didn't know that while I was working my metaphorical bag off for A's the entire time.

At Mount Royal College I took:

				Degree Date:
				Humanities: BA Major
				Faculty of Humanities
				Hispanic Studies: HIAM
				Linguistics
TRANSFER CREDIT ACCEPTED BY INSTITUTION -Top-
200609:	Converted Transfer Credit
Subject	Course		Title			Grade	Credit Hours	Quality Points				R
CHIN	149		Transfer Credit			TR	1.500	0.00
FREN	10L		Transfer Credit			TR	1.500	0.00
GER	100A		Transfer Credit			TR	1.500	0.00
LING	100A		Transfer Credit			TR	1.500	0.00
LING	100B		Transfer Credit			TR	1.500	0.00
LING	200		Transfer Credit			TR	0.000	0.00
LING	200		Transfer Credit			TR	1.500	0.00
LING	203		Transfer Credit			TR	1.500	0.00
LING	370A		Transfer Credit			TR	0.000	0.00
LING	370B		Transfer Credit			TR	1.500	0.00
LING	395		Transfer Credit			TR	1.500	0.00
PHIL	201		Transfer Credit			TR	1.500	0.00
PSYC	100A		Transfer Credit			TR	1.500	0.00
SOCI	100		Transfer Credit			TR	1.500	0.00
SPAN	100A		Transfer Credit			TR	1.500	0.00
SPAN	100B		Transfer Credit			TR	1.500	0.00
SPAN	250A		Transfer Credit			TR	1.500	0.00
WS	20L		Transfer Credit			TR	1.500	0.00
				Attempt Hours	Passed Hours	Earned Hours	GPA Hours	Quality Points	GPA
Current Term:				0.000	0.000	24.000	0.000	0.00	0.00
Unofficial Transcript
200809:	Camosun College
Subject	Course		Title			Grade	Credit Hours	Quality Points				R
ENGL	10L		TC			TR	1.500	0.00
ENGL	115		TC			TR	1.500	0.00
GEOG	101B		TC			TR	1.500	0.00
PACI	210		TC			TR	1.500	0.00
WRIT	10L		TC			TR	1.500	0.00
WRIT	10L		TC			TR	1.500	0.00
				Attempt Hours	Passed Hours	Earned Hours	GPA Hours	Quality Points	GPA
Current Term:				0.000	0.000	9.000	0.000	0.00	0.00
Unofficial Transcript
INSTITUTION CREDIT -Top-
First Term: Sep - Dec 2006
Faculty:				Faculty of Humanities
Major:				Undeclared
Academic Standing:
Subject	Course	Level	Title					Grade	Credit Hours	Quality Points	R
GER	100A	UG	BEGINNERS GERMAN I					A-	1.500	10.50	A
LING	373	UG	SECOND LANG ACQUISITION					B+	1.500	9.00
LING	374	UG	METHODS:LANGUAGE TEACHING					B+	1.500	9.00
LING	397	UG	ISSUES:X-CULT COMMUNICATN					A	1.500	12.00
RUSS	100A	UG	BEGINNERS RUSSIAN I					B+	1.500	9.00
Term Totals (Undergraduate)
					Attempt Hours	Passed Hours	Earned Hours	GPA Hours	Quality Points	GPA
Current Term:					7.500	6.000	6.000	7.500	49.50	6.60
Cumulative:					7.500	6.000	6.000	7.500	49.50	6.60
Unofficial Transcript
Second Term: Jan - Apr 2007
Term Comments:				DUP/MX IDENTIFIED-NO COURSE CREDIT AWARDED
Faculty:				Faculty of Humanities
Major:				Undeclared
Academic Standing:
Subject	Course	Level	Title					Grade	Credit Hours	Quality Points	R
GER	100B	UG	BEGINNERS GERMAN II					C	1.500	3.00
LING	375	UG	ISSUES IN APPLIED LING					A-	1.500	10.50
LING	376	UG	SEM+PRACT:APPLIED LING					INP	1.500	0.00
RUSS	100B	UG	BEGINNERS RUSSIAN II					B	1.500	7.50
SPAN	250B	UG	REVIEW GRAMMAR+CONVERS II					D	1.500	1.50
Term Totals (Undergraduate)
					Attempt Hours	Passed Hours	Earned Hours	GPA Hours	Quality Points	GPA
Current Term:					7.500	6.000	6.000	6.000	22.50	3.75
Cumulative:					15.000	12.000	12.000	13.500	72.00	5.33
Unofficial Transcript
First Term: Sep - Dec 2007
Term Comments:				ON YEAR ABROAD PROGRAM AT U VERACRUZANA, MEXICO DUP/MX IDENTIFIED-NO COURSE CREDIT AWARDED
Faculty:				Faculty of Humanities
Major:				Undeclared
Academic Standing:
Subject	Course	Level	Title					Grade	Credit Hours	Quality Points	R
SPAN	350A	UG	ADV COMP TRANS+STYLE:I: TAKEN IN XALAPA, MEXICO					A+	1.500	13.50
SPAN	350B	UG	ADV COMP TRANS+STYLE:II: TAKEN IN XALAPA, MEXICO					A+	1.500	13.50
Term Totals (Undergraduate)
					Attempt Hours	Passed Hours	Earned Hours	GPA Hours	Quality Points	GPA
Current Term:					3.000	3.000	3.000	3.000	27.00	9.00
Cumulative:					18.000	15.000	15.000	16.500	99.00	6.00
Unofficial Transcript
Summer Studies: May - Aug 2008
Faculty:				Faculty of Humanities
Major:				Undeclared
Academic Standing:				In Good Standing
Subject	Course	Level	Title					Grade	Credit Hours	Quality Points	R
ITAL	149	UG	BEGINNERS ITALIAN					B+	3.000	18.00
LING	377	UG	MINORITY LANGUAGE ISSUES					A	1.500	12.00
LING	398	UG	LANGUAGE AND GENDER					A+	1.500	13.50
Term Totals (Undergraduate)
					Attempt Hours	Passed Hours	Earned Hours	GPA Hours	Quality Points	GPA
Current Term:					6.000	6.000	6.000	6.000	43.50	7.25
Cumulative:					24.000	21.000	21.000	22.500	142.50	6.33
Unofficial Transcript
Summer Studies: May - Aug 2009
Faculty:				Faculty of Humanities
Major:				Hispanic Studies: HIAM
Academic Standing:				In Good Standing
Subject	Course	Level	Title					Grade	Credit Hours	Quality Points	R
GRS	250	UG	CONTRIBUTION TO ENGL LANG					B+	1.500	9.00
LING	378	UG	CONTRASTIVE LINGUISTICS: French					A-	1.500	10.50
LING	388	UG	INTRO GRAMMAR ENGL USAGE					C	1.500	3.00
Term Totals (Undergraduate)
					Attempt Hours	Passed Hours	Earned Hours	GPA Hours	Quality Points	GPA
Current Term:					4.500	4.500	4.500	4.500	22.50	5.00
Cumulative:					28.500	25.500	25.500	27.000	165.00	6.11
Unofficial Transcript
First Term: Sep - Dec 2009
Faculty:				Faculty of Humanities
Major:				Hispanic Studies: HIAM
Academic Standing:
Subject	Course	Level	Title					Grade	Credit Hours	Quality Points	R
SPAN	307	UG	LATIN AMERICAN CULTURE					B-	1.500	6.00
SPAN	375	UG	SURVEY:LIT SINCE 1700					B-	1.500	6.00
SPAN	380	UG	SPANISH AM LIT 1492-1900					B	1.500	7.50
SPAN	450A	UG	ADV COMP TRANS+STYLE:III					B	1.500	7.50
SPAN	485B	UG	LATIN AMERICAN FILM: Mexican Cinema					B	1.500	7.50
Term Totals (Undergraduate)
					Attempt Hours	Passed Hours	Earned Hours	GPA Hours	Quality Points	GPA
Current Term:					7.500	7.500	7.500	7.500	34.50	4.60
Cumulative:					36.000	33.000	33.000	34.500	199.50	5.78
Unofficial Transcript
Second Term: Jan - Apr 2010
Faculty:				Faculty of Humanities
Major:				Hispanic Studies: HIAM
Academic Standing:
Subject	Course	Level	Title					Grade	Credit Hours	Quality Points	R
SPAN	370	UG	SURVEY:LIT ORIGIN TO 1700					A-	1.500	10.50
Term Totals (Undergraduate)
				Attempt Hours	Passed Hours	Earned Hours	GPA Hours	Quality Points	GPA
Current Term:				1.500	1.500	1.500	1.500	10.50	7.00
Cumulative:				37.500	34.500	34.500	36.000	210.00	5.83
Unofficial Transcript
TRANSCRIPT TOTALS (UNDERGRADUATE) -Top-
				Attempt Hours	Passed Hours	Earned Hours	GPA Hours	Quality Points	GPA
Total Transfer:				0.000	0.000	33.000	0.000	0.00	0.00
Overall:				37.500	34.500	67.500	36.000	210.00	5.83
Unofficial Transcript
COURSES IN PROGRESS -Top-
Second Term: Jan - Apr 2010
Faculty:				Faculty of Humanities
Major:				Hispanic Studies: HIAM
Subject	Course	Level	Title						Credit Hours
LAS	300	UG	TPCS:LATIN AM STDY (ENGL): An Interdisciplinary Study of Diversity & Identity						1.500
SPAN	306	UG	SPANISH CULTURE						1.500
SPAN	385	UG	SPANISH AM LIT SINCE 1900						1.500
SPAN	483C	UG	MOD LAT AM LIT+VIS ARTS						1.500
Unofficial Transcript

I was like "Whaaat?"

Scene: On the bus, sitting near the front are two girls who are obviously excited about something. They both have colorful roller-suitcases with them and are chatting loudly.

Girl 1: OMG BLA BLA BLA
Girl 2: Like, I KNOW, BLA BLA BLA

Bus driver: Hey girls...
Girl 1: I think he's talking to us.
Bus driver: Girls?
Girl 2: Yes?
Bus driver: Do you have any idea how often you say "like"?
Girl 2: Um...
Girl 1: No...?
Bus driver: You sound really unintelligent.
Girl 1: Okay...thank you. (sarcastic tone)
Bus driver: If I like were like your like professor I'd like tell you to like knock it off. (totally mocking them)
Girl 2: Hm.
Girl 1: Yeah...thanks.
Bus driver: I mean, I can tell you're intelligent girls. You just need to quit saying "like" so much. You sound so stupid.
Girl 1: *speechless*
Girl 2: *speechless*
me: *like "whaaat?"*

In various linguistics courses I've learned to overcome most of my stereotypical perceptions of language, like the "saying like means you're stupid" false dichotomy.

It annoys some people because it's a different sub-dialect than what non-like-sayers speak. It's like hearing an as of yet unacknowledged "ebonics"... you know what I'm sayin'?
And it's easy and fun to look down on others. It's what human beings do best. But here's my linguistics lesson for you for today:

"Like" is a valid hedge-word or discourse particle(or space holder, to take a breath or pause for a second to collect your thoughts, or the way we use "um" in a conversation). The way we usually hear it now is actually an adverb, meaning "nearly",(As in "I like died"). It's also commonly used as a quotative (to introduce a quote or impression), as in "He was like..." or to paraphrase an UNSAID idea or sentiment, (I was like "I can't believe this") including non-verbal motions and sounds. (The dinosaur was like RAAA!)

In other words, it's here to stay and it's a valid and meaningful form of expressing complex ideas, and there's no avoiding it. How else would you introduce an impression into your conversation?

He said "bla bla bla"? No, it's awkward.

If you're a 'like' sayer, don't be ashamed. Own it. I do.

The must-have item for bloggers...PARTY RATS!

That's right, PARTY RATS!*

Yes! They're rats...who like to party!

They come in five fantastic colors, shine lights out of their faces, and fit right on your fingers. As the package says:

Whether you're dancing at a rave with a few hundred of your closest friends or plugged in for some night blogging, party rats are the fun way to have fun!

Did you hear that? THE FUN WAY TO HAVE FUN!

Wow!

Wait...did they say "night blogging"?


Hahahaha. I dare somebody to buy me these.

Or I want them for my birthday. You know, for all that night blogging I have to do.


*party rats found via thebloggess.com

cartwheels

˙uʍop ǝpısdn pǝuɹnʇ ƃuıǝq sı plɹoʍ ǝloɥʍ ʎɯ ǝʞıl lǝǝɟ ɟo puıʞ ı

¿ʇɐɥʍ ʍou

˙ʇsɐɟ uı ƃuısolɔ sǝıʇɹıɥʇ ʎɯ puɐ˙˙˙ǝɯ ɟo pɐǝɥɐ ǝɹnʇnɟ ʎɯ ɥʇıʍ 'plɹoʍ ǝpıʍ ʇɐǝɹƃ ǝɥʇ uı ʇno ǝq llıʍ ı uoos ˙ʎʇısɹǝʌıun ɹoɟ ǝʇıɹʍ oʇ ǝʌɐɥ ɹǝʌǝ llıʍ ı ɹǝdɐd lɐuıɟ ǝɥʇ uo ƃuıʞɹoʍ ʎlʇuǝɹɹnɔ ɯɐ ı 'sʎnƃ noʎ ʍoʍ

hah

Personalize funny videos and birthday eCards at JibJab!

Okay, this is what you do:

1. go to google dot com
2. type in each letter of the alphabet, one at a time
3. tell us what the first thing in your search history is

Here's mine:

A - a farewell to arms
B - BC liquor open on Easter
C - cakewrecks.com
D - daily life in Tenochtitlan
E - earthquake Victoria B.C.
F - fables are used to
G - gabriel figueroa
H - hannes meyer
I - iconicity
J - jack black in neverending story
K - kokuyo flash cards
L - L Grenoble "Endangered Languages"
M - malaga spain
N - nablopomo
O - old posters
P - pablo neruda
Q - que chistoso
R - rbc royal bank
S - santo
T - talking carl app
U - university sucks quotes
V - vancouver island ferry
W - was echeverria a unitarian
X - xavier guerrero
Y - y tu mama tambien sinopsis
Z - zapatista

This isn't really an accurate representation, as most of these I was searching for school projects.

Okay, that was... fun? I guess?

Anyway back to work.

Peace out.

it all comes down to this:

today, tomorrow, wednesday = ZOMFG SO MUCH TO DOOOO

thursday-tuesday next week = la la la la waste time, hang out

wednesday/thursday = AAAAAAAAAH WHY DIDN'T I STUDY MORRREE??

April 22 - YAY!

moby's dick

Get it?




But seriously, the whole thing was really cool and sad and beautiful and stinky. (hello, four day old dead whale...ew.) So basically, for those of you not in the know, this juvenile whale washed ashore at a park sorta near where I live. From the info I can gather it died from a combination of starvation, a wind storm and an orca attack. (why does my spell check not recognize 'orca'?) Rough couple of days, for mister teenage whale, yo.

So we went to see it on Wednesday afternoon.

We used this opportunity to talk about death with the children.

Exhibit A:

Ryan: Be respectful, remember this whale was once alive and swimming in the ocean.

Me: And it's gonna stink. It's a giant dead body!

Exhibit B:

Kid1: What's that green thing in it's mouth?

Me: Its tongue.

Kid1: Why's it green?

Me: I dunno, like, bacteria or something. That's what happens to dead things. They get all rotten.

Kid1: Maybe my tongue will turn green when I die.

Me: Yeah, probably.

---

Here are some pictures, because I know how much you all love dead animals.

Warning: sad and gross photos ahead with some blood and weird square holes for some reason (?) (you'll see)








And I'll be honest; as much as I make jokes and talk about its penis, it was really awful to imagine this whale alive just four days previous. It was a privilege to be able to see it, and ... well this photo makes me feel sad, but at the same time, isn't there something telling about it? I don't know. Like maybe there is a bit of expression left on this whale's face.


I'm super lucky to have seen this.

It was amazing.
:)

I WANT TO SEE IT

so is it weird that I'm dying to go see the beached (dead) grey whale that's out in Sooke?

I've been begging Ryan to take me ever since I found out it was there

zombocat and progress update

Okay well after a crisis around 2pm today where I realized I had wasted around six hours putting together a research paper for my 20th century Latin American Literature class on Jose Marti ... who did not live during the 20th century.

Yeah. It dawned on me after having basically read and typed up his biography like 40 million times.

Wait a minute, is that a nineteenth century date? Hmmm DAMNIT!

Luckily I was alone in the house so the only guy who had to hear any swearing was the kitty and she was like RAAH I'm a zombie because it's easter and that's some hilarious topical humor!

Entertaining, right?

So anyway now I'm just putting the finishing touches on an analysis of a rad story that I'm so glad I got to read. It's called Chac Mool, by Carlos Fuentes. First, CLICK HERE to find out what a Chac Mool is if you don't know, or you'll be like "what the eff is going on?", then CLICK HERE to read the English translation of the story. It's not the best translation ever but you'll get the point.

So anyway yay me, you know, for doing that, but I just finished this paper and it's ten at night and I have like 100 hours of crap still to do by tomorrow afternoon and I'm totally freaking out up in here.

AAAGH

~fin~

Easter Weekend

"good" Friday:

Woke up. Fell out of bed. Dragged a comb acro....oh wait, no, that was the Beatles. I woke up, did my standard blog reading/facebook checking/coffee sipping routine. And then started sifting through the (literally) thousands of pages of info I had downloaded over the previous week for this one paper I'm severely stressed about.

Went to the pet store with Ryan because we needed cat food and I needed a break. Ryan bought cat one of those carpeted house thingys, and it was very exciting because she totally loves it.

Spent the rest of the night listening to a crazy wind storm and working on three separate papers and spending way too much time on my various social media sites.

"non-religious holiday" Saturday:

Seriously...lame. Ryan slept until noon, I worked on things until he got up. On the computer ALL DAY. He watched like 3 seasons of The Wire, which I tuned in and out of.
Around nine at night we went for a walk to the Tim Hortons down the street to get him a pre-work (gross) coffee.
Back home, more work. Bed at eleven.

"Easter" Sunday:

Got up around seven, fooled around for hours. Ryan got up around eleven thanks to the neighbor boy playing with his yappy dog directly outside the bedroom window. He watched The Wire all day and I'm having trouble distinguishing that day from the Saturday except I was wearing different sweatpants and I figured out that my bangs are finally long enough to pin back.

I did more research stuff.

He made vegan "corned beef" which is so good in a rye-bread sandwich with sauerkraut.

Work work work bed

And today, Monday, I don't feel any closer to being ready for tomorrow, in which I submit one paper, and present my research in front of the class in one, and have a class discussion about how the other one is going (complete with fancy typed up outline)...AAAAAAAAAGH

________________

For those of you who went to school in the time before the internet, this is how I do things.

Supplies:

1.Internet connection.
2.Computer
3.Maybe like one book that I already had at home
4.Print card for school computer lab
5.Coffee
6.a 4-day weekend

Research method:

1. Scan all the PDF files I downloaded from the school's online library with my eyeballs, and see if any of the key concepts I'm looking for jump out at me. If they do, I don't delete the file. If it's irrelevant, DELETE.

2. Copy and paste the text from the remaining PDF files into a word document and then meticulously delete everything that is irrelevant, being sure to keep track of who was the author of what, for future citations.

3. Cut and paste info into groupings depending on subject matter. Usually by this time I have changed the colors or fonts so that I can easily keep track of who wrote what. For example, the red font was all written by the same person, the comic sans was another guy, etc.

4. Re-read info, and begin writing paper in sections.

5. Cut and paste sections of paper into one long crappy rough draft that makes no sense.

6. Go over rough draft and try to figure out how to make it sound awesome, and figure out how to make it lead to the point I was trying to get at in the first place.

7. Make sure I didn't accidentally violate copyright laws.

8. Make the sentences flow nicely together.

9. Write intro. By this time I'm soooo sick of looking at the stupid thing.

10. Write conclusion.

11. Spell check like a motherfucker.

12. Go over again, making sure it really does make sense.

13. Walk away.

14. Come back.

15. Re-write large chunks of the text because they sound totally stupid.

16. Go to website that reminds me how to write works cited list in MLA format.

17. Read website, and realize that I did my in-text citations wrong. Fix them.

18. Do Works Cited page, which takes like an hour longer than I thought it would because they're so particular about where the comma and brackets go.

19. Put paper away for a while.

20. Come back to it, read it and totally hate it.

21. Fix a few more grammatical errors that I somehow missed the first 80 times.

22. Put it away. E-mail it to myself and tell myself it's done.

23. Print it at school, hand it in. Tell myself it's not the best I could do but it's good enough, and I just want to pass the stupid class.

24. CELEBRATE!

the day I knew I was a grown-up

I was ten or eleven years old and lived with my (divorced) single mom and my younger brother (who would have been seven-ish) and my sister (who would have been around five).

I knew the truth about the Easter bunny. And Santa Claus. And the Tooth Fairy.

In fact, I'm pretty sure I had known it for a few years by then because I was well-versed in the Easter routine: after the 'little kids' went to bed there was the super fun chore of hiding frilly baskets full of that rustly Easter-grass crap and candy, and making trails of candy to make them easy to find (thus eliminating any Easter morning frustration for the youngest child). And lastly, hiding any evidence (i.e. packaging) of the elaborate holiday ruse.

I woke up with the sunrise on this particular Easter morning. My brother and sister were still asleep.
My mom was also sleeping.

I tiptoed around from room to room, checking. I had to be sure because I wanted to sneak some early morning candy before breakfast(and before anybody was awake to tell me "no").

My mom was actually snoring. She had been out the night before and I didn't want to wake her up because she got home kind of late. Like, super late. Even after I had fallen asleep, which was like at ten at night. That's almost midnight!

I slowly sneaked down the stairs, being sure to walk on the edges of the steps to avoid any tell-tale creaks.

There were no candy trails to be found.

Hmm.

I began a fruitless search behind couches and under blankets. Nothing. My state of alarm rose as I searched behind the T.V. I even looked in the kitchen cupboards and inside the fridge.

Still nothing. I couldn't believe how good of a hider my mom was!

I looked in the microwave, in the toilet tank, and then just stood in the middle of the living room, scanning the landscape with my eyes, searching for any obvious signs of camouflaged candy.

It then dawned on me that the unthinkable had happened: Mom had forgotten Easter!

I scurried back up the stairs into her room.

"Mom," I whispered.

No response.

"Maaaahhhhm"

"Hm?"

"Maaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhm"

"Hm? Whaa?"

"Maaahm, the Easter bunny never came"

It took a few seconds for this fact to dawn on her. "Uuuugh"

I realized that "maaahm" had had a few cocktails the night before and I could see in the pallor of her face that she was not feeling so hot.

"I can do it...if you want"

"Oh, hun. Thanks. Stuff's in the cupboard above the fridge." And she went back to sleep.

It was up to me to be the unsung hero of our home. But I had to hurry because the kids were going to be up soon.

I valiantly climbed onto the kitchen counter and pulled out dollar store baskets and packages of that retarded Easter grass. (Seriously, what is that stuff?) There were bags of tiny chocolate eggs and three large profiles of white-chocolate Easter bunnies. Hollow, each with just one pink sugar eye glaring out of the gaudy packaging.

Ew, white chocolate.

I threw everything together, found some amazing hiding places, (Under the kitchen table? GENIUS!) and saved Easter.

I went back to bed, shifting the covers noisily enough to wake the other kids up, and lay under the covers listening.

"It's EASTERRRRRR! THE EASTER BUNNY CAME!"
"CANDYYYYY!"

At the time I was so proud of myself and felt like the ultimate child that every parent would be proud to call their own. Today, looking back, I feel scandalized. What a traumatic moment that should have been.

But it wasn't. And honestly I'm still kind of proud of my ten year old self. Good job, me!

stormy

The lights are flickering as I type, and the wind is insane outside.

The one really lame thing about having a home surrounded by gigantic trees is what happens when there's a wind storm.



Yeah, that just fell a few minutes ago. I'm scared! haha

Well, the good news is I have a book light and a 2 hour laptop battery, so I can continue working on school stuff if the power shuts off. Yay?

DESTRUCTION!

CLICK HERE

for the cutest picture ever of Chris and Gerry. (photo by Sarah)
haha!

wanna see some destruction?

Here's the before pic. Naked red wall after naked red wall.


And here's the boss looking mighty blurry. He's taking out some kind of support beam.


Here's the boss again, sawing something up high? I don't know.


Here's Chris totally ninja-ing the crap out of that wall.


Here's me, kicking the wall dramatically. Right where the stud was. I kind of hurt myself but pretended I didn't.


Here's the successful kick.


And the aftermath!


Woo!!