The chalk ladies of Government Street

Hockey

Welp, since I'm from Canada, obviously I like hockey, right?

Uh sort of, actually. Surprised? Me too.

It all started in high school, when like half of the boys in my grade were in hockey. And one awesome girl. We'd go sit in the chilly bleachers in not enough clothing and cheer them on with mildly inappropriate-for-a-family-environment rhymes and drink hot chocolate. They pretended we weren't there but we had fun.

Today three of my little brothers are in hockey. It used to be the cutest thing in the world, and now that they're getting older it's fascinating to watch how they no longer trip over their own skates and know how to stop on a dime. They're actually pretty good! Still cute, too.

So I've always kind of enjoyed watching hockey games, as long as I knew the players. Until I moved in with Ryan. Ryan is a hockey fanatic. He's one of those dudes who yells at the TV (and scares the dog, haha). He dominates hockey pools and can predict what the coaches will do two periods before they do it. He's growing a playoff beard and has a specific outfit he has to wear every time the Canucks are playing. I came home to this lovely sign in our front window last week:

I mean...I am living with a major hockey fan. And since there's been a game on our TV every day or every second day for months now, I'm growing to like it. I finally learned who the Sedins are and what 'offside' means, haha.

Anyway a couple days ago the Vancouver Canucks were playing a big game, the one that determined whether or not they were going to go on to the next round, in which they could win the Stanley Cup. They were losing by one goal and there were fifteen seconds left when they scored, tying the game and forcing it into overtime.

For those who don't know, Vancouver is a pretty big city (for Canada, at least). I think around two million people live there, more or less. Check out these deserted streets. This video was filmed right downtown, from an apartment window. All is a little too quiet until around 25 seconds in. You can hear faint cheering, people going "GO!" "YEAH" from inside homes. And then at 35 seconds is when they scored that goal. I don't know about you guys but this video makes me smile. 

 

:)

Things I Love Thursday

Well...I actually really do not love these lollypops anymore...we bought them for the kids when we went to Seattle. Um...three months ago? And somehow the darn kids made them last 'til now. Nothing like two little boys loudly sucking on phallic shaped objects for hours on end.

Annnnywayyy, I do still love...

Seeing what the back of your favorite web pages would look like if you could stand behind your computer screen on this tumblog.

These two great reads that I found over on Gala Darling's blog: In defense of hipsters by Sarah Wilson, and "And I Should Know" by Rosanne Barr.

Twitter. I love it more and more every day. How else would I hear if Becky and Kristine were alright during the tornado? Or what hijinks my coworker is up to now?

This excerpt from Mindy Kaling's* book "Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me? (And Other Concerns)", about not worrying about being popular in high school. 
*You know, she's Kelly from The Office

Funny 'cause they're true jokes.

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These diptychs. Photos by Mark Laita, from his book Created Equal. Featuring such mismatched pairs as Amish vs Punk teenagers, boxer vs ballerina, and gangster vs mafia man.

I found these via Sarah Wilson's blog.

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Collages by Oh No Kind Spirit.

Katie's packaging tips for small businesses, featured on the Freckled Nest blog. It's so true, what she says about the packaging making a lasting impression on the client. I remember when I ordered some moleskine notebooks from The Black Apple; everything was packaged so beautifully, right down to the business cards.It meant a lot to me, as though the extra thought and work was really personalized and sweet, even though I didn't spend a ton of money at her shop.

Buffo the Clown. (Not really). But look at him. It's a must-see. Found via: Oh Noa. **WARNING** TERRIBLE LOUD CIRCUS MUSIC, TURN DOWN YOUR VOLUME BEFORE VISITING THE SITE!!

The ever popular llama font. Say it in llama! Or what about the chair alphabet?

14 pictures of Chernobyl, then and now. What the city looks like 25 years later.

Seeing the reference photos for these famous pin-up images.

These cats...just chillin' on stuff.

Tim's cool drawings. Monsters and geometry. Perfect!  Found via Ayden's Little Blog of Horrors. He drew her header, btw. I am quite partial to his 'bendy straw pattern'.

These "Where's Waldo"-esque photos by Max&Charlotte.

AmySchmamey's photos of the insane storms, taken from where she lives, near-ish Joplin I assume... The rainbows! The lightning! The golden sky! It's all very surreal. Note: none of them have been altered! Here's one that blew my mind. It's like...WHAAAT? I'd be terrified if our sky turned that color.

In a related train of thought, I heard on the news yesterday that tornadoes only happen in North America. Weird, hey? And I thought...is that true? But I've never heard of a European tornado. Just volcano eruptions.

I looked it up and apparently around 300 tornadoes happen in Europe per year, so the news lied. But generally the ones in tornado alley are way larger, stronger and more destructive. Congratulations USA.

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This wallpaper by Paperboy Wallpaper. I've been considering getting a tattoo of a hand doing a shadow puppet for some time now...this is some major inspiration!

 You know what else they have? Dinosaur/kid wallpaper and animal bones wallpaper. All. So. Great.

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The Story Behind Our Photo of Grieving Chimps by National Geographic Magazine's Jeremy Berlin.

These two videos, e-mailed to me from Brenda. Thanks! The War and Somewhere.

This really cool experiment, where, using eyeball tracker devices of some kind, some smart science dudes were able to map out where and for how long eleven people's gazes landed on the movie There Will Be Blood. Check it out! It's so weird how most of the people are synchronized in how their eyes move.

(The little green circles are the people's gazes, and when they get larger it's because the gaze stayed still.)

And then here's another video that they call a "peekthrough heat map", showing the center of the viewers' gazes. This is neat because you can see how movement and faces really attract human attention.You can also see when the viewers anticipate who is going to speak next. Real cool!

 

See a full explanation of what the heck this is all about here. 

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This post on KristinChaos' 'losing myself' blog. I sure love reading about her adventures. She's working in India, helping with cleft-lip/palate surgeries. Just awesome. After I read this post I got something in my eyes.(tears)

Thinking about these "weirdo" parents who are trying to raise gender neutral children...I'm still not sure where I stand on this issue. I'm a little more with them than Kristine is...but maybe I'm biased, as I live with two young boys who have both had super long hair, and their favorite color has been pink on and off. They've been called girls...when I met them I thought they were both girls honestly...and they turned out more boy-ey than anyone. Guns, real subtle crushes on Selena Gomez, the works.

Lesley Barnes Illustration.

This blog of weird roadside attractions!  For me, the hokier the better. I still can't wait to find the Gopher Hole Museum in Torrington, Alberta...road trip! I mean...come on. This is hilarious.

Haha. Amazing.

Gemma Correll Illustration.

These "victorian era infographics" I saw on Public School.

McSweeney's Open Letters to People or Entities Who Are Unlikely to Respond, #21 - To The Smiley Face Following An Insult.

Kaelah Bee's post on Danielle's blog re: self confidence. Very well timed for me to read this, indeed. 

This tiny giraffe that I wish was real so very much.

This post by Chloe Rice on her new friend "Baby Midnight". I just love it.  People are so interesting.

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And last but not least, these mixed media works by Anthony Zinonos.

See more on his website here.

What do you love this Thursday? Leave me your link here!

Consider my day made! Crappy portraits!

Have you ever heard of the "free crappy portraits" website? Because it. Is. Amazing. Basically, you send them a picture of yourself with a little description, and someone will draw you. But...not well. Hm, actually, now that I'm looking at the site some of them are AMAZING. So...guess it depends on your artist. Also, if you want, you can volunteer to be a "guest artist" and draw someone else. Which I did. How exciting!

They're going to be featuring my portrait today. Here's the photo I sent them:

Here's the description of us I sent along with the picture:

"This is a photo of me and my best dog ever, Tank. He enjoys long walks around the block, peeing on every plant, and treats. I like books and hate taking the bus. Let me be clear: Tank and I are just friends. We don't like each other "that way", no matter what those kids at school say"

I like how I kind of look like a character from the Archie comics, and she incorporated every single thing I said in my description. Except WE'RE NOT IN LOVE DAMNIT, haha. 

I love the book title. It's all about the details, you know?

If you would like a crappy portrait drawn of you, it's pretty simple. All you have to do is go to freecrappyportraits.com and email them a picture of yourself with a short description. I can't wait to draw my 'guest' post...she likes the Rocky Horror Picture Show. Ding ding ding! And I suck at drawing. It's gonna be hilarious.

Chest tattoo, round two!

At 9:00 this morning, the awesome Colin Wiley picked me up at home and drove me to the tattoo shop, and we "got our tat on". We only got a couple hours in before his next appointment showed up, but what the heck, it's really starting to look like a honeybee. Lucky me!

YESSSS! Sorry about the weird watermark, I just really don't want chumps copying Colin's hard work.

So yeah, that's basically all I did today. And I fell asleep three times on the bus on the way home. Getting tattooed is hard work.

And now that I have your attention, here are some random pictures I had on my camera from last week that I don't know what to do with other than put them here:

 1. Telling secrets to Tank. 2. Smoked out Brainz in a Tim Hortons drive through. 3. My favorite pin.

 1. A corner of the kids' bulletin board. 2. Tank's eyeless Pikachu doll. 3.Ryan brought home a giant vintage slurpee sign.

 1. Bee in our yard. 2. Spider web and junk. 3.Ultimate potato chip.

 1. May long rodeo. 2. Bones Rocks. 3. Kind of a weird pharmacy sign.

 1. Stupid sign outside of a McDonalds. 2. "Randy Sucks Cool Tattoo On Side Of Neck" 3. Graffiti pit. 4. Red Hot Video.

Some more old photos of me and my dredlocks...when I first discovered Manic Panic. *life changing event*

This was my 23rd birthday. I was living at home at the time, working to make money for a train trip across Canada. My mom got me an ice-cream cake that said "novarella" on it. Aww, mom!

I really really like my hair color in these pics. And that shirt. I would LOVE another shirt like that. Anyone have one they can send me? I think it's from American Eagle, like six or seven years ago? Believe me, I've searched everywhere.

LOL at all those candles in the second pic! I look so grungy and sun tanned because I had just finished a long day of working on the infamous Greidanus Honey Bee Farm that I really want to visit again with a good camera...bee stings be damned, it would be amazing! And I am basically tattoo-less here too! Weird! Look at those bare arms!

Humanity, maybe we do need a rapture after all...oh, and Lyndon's Sunday Photo Corner too! (#3)

So I'm really really bummed with humanity these days. I was totally sexually harassed the other day, walking to the grocery store. Actually I had a ten minute span of terrible...first my cell phone rang while I was walking to the store from the bus stop. It was a wrong number, and when I said so to the unintelligible crazy man on the other end, he asked what number he called.

I said "Well...you called me!" and he said in a slimy lecherous voice "Come on, honey, help me out." I hung up immediately. It turned from an innocent "woops-wrong-number" call to a real creepy sex-phone-line call and I was not having it. He didn't call back. I kept walking.

A couple minutes later, I had to cross at this sketchy-ass crossing that I usually avoid because it's so dangerous...I'd rather take my chances running across a busy street usually; there are flashing lights and a zebra crossing and everything but it's just off the highway so most of the cars are still going 80km/h and looking at the traffic they're going to merge with instead of straight ahead. When I was like halfway across the crosswalk I heard a SCREEEEEEEEEEE! Someone had to slam on their brakes, and I barely escaped being run over! I was fine, but that kind of thing can terrify the toughest hombre.  

I shook it off and kept walking. And five minutes later, with the grocery store in sight, a car ended up stopped beside where I was walking. It was a car full of 20-something kind of fat nerd white-boys. I was on a mission to get to the grocery store and didn't notice them until I heard "...now THERE'S some pussy!" 

 I stopped walking and turned in the direction of the voice. I was pissed off. It was a green car with the windows rolled down. I looked at them and the passenger in the car gave me a sleazy nod, as if to say "What's up baby?"  

I gave them the finger, my only thought at the moment was "fuck them and don't let them think you like being ogled and called 'some pussy'". When they drove past, my heart started racing. My thoughts raced as well: 

What if my middle finger gesture made them angry and they came back? I shouldn't have done anything. Maybe I should just go home. I'm afraid. Wait. Why am I afraid exactly? What are those nerds going to do? But there are so many of them. And they used the word 'pussy'. No. They won't do anything. I can't let them stop me from going to the goddamn grocery store for fucks sake. But what if I see them in the grocery store? Then confront them face to face and see how tough they are. Yes. 

Can you believe I almost went home? I literally stopped in my tracks once the car was out of sight and turned around. I walked a few steps toward home until I changed my mind and decided that I would be strong and I did really need to buy food.

I know that there's a whole internet movement trying to convince the world that this type of behavior, (i.e. cat calling and shouting out car windows) is NOT a compliment...you've probably heard all this before on countless other blogs, but hey gentlemen ... it is scary to be a woman sometimes. See the "how many women" tumblr to get an idea...

You think your comment is harmless? Now I will probably never wear that exact outfit again, even though it was just a pretty and casual thing I threw together, perfect for the impending hot summer. Because somewhere inside of me I blame my clothing on what happened, even though I know it's silly. Every time I put on that dress I'll think about the time someone called me "some pussy". And every time I see a green car of the same make I will instinctively flinch, panic, get ready for a verbal assault, be afraid.

I seem to get a lot of sexual harassment wherever I go...or just...generally strangers feel the need to yell things at me. I'm trying to figure out why. I talk to other women and they seem surprised to hear about all the shouting, name calling and random comments I get. I mean, here are some examples from the past few days:

"Hey blondie! I'm not done talking to you!"

This came from a drunk man, literally lying on the sidewalk, after asking where to buy a pint for three dollars and showing me his hot stuff tattoo...btw I am not blonde? It was weird.

"Hey girl! Where ya going with those waffles?"

Uh, I was carrying waffles...this one was kind of funny I guess. But still weird. Why would you just shout something like that at some "girl"? Also, I'm nearly thirty...when are people gonna stop calling me "girl"?

"Can I ask you something? How much money have you invested in your tattoos?"

Yeah, some guy came up to me while I was waiting to pick up a torta from the taco truck for my boss' lunch and asked me this. How rude! I should have asked him how much his mortgage is. It's funny because I was just recently re-reading Kaelah's tattoo etiquette guide on 'how not to be a douche', in which she talks about people asking her how much her tattoos cost and I remember thinking how nobody has ever asked me that, that I can remember. And then, the very next day it happened! (BTW, that's a great read, please go there and read it ASAP...especially those of you who don't have tattoos.)

I have decided two things after this awkward conversation:

Thing one: Next time a stranger says "Can I ask you something?" out of the blue, I am going to say "No."

Thing two: If someone asks me how much my tattoos cost again, I am going to say "I don't talk about my financial endeavors with strangers." I even practiced saying it, so I don't forget the key phrase "financial endeavors".

And then, just yesterday I got:

"There's a big ass!"

Just screamed out the window of a truck driving past. This wasn't scary, just straight up humiliating, as there were like eighty people around who immediately turned to see where the big ass was. I mean...come on. That's awful. I actually pretended like I didn't hear them laughing as they drove away, walked back into the tattoo shop, went to the back room and had a good cry. I can not understand people's motives, you guys. 

Is that funny? To shout terrible things at people who are minding their own business? I certainly don't think so.

On the plus side of that one I got to see just how sweet the guys at my work are. They were all trying to distract me by talking about bulldog puppies and offering to beat up the mean people for me because I'm like their "little sister" and our friend Brian bought me toy dinosaurs to throw at the jerks. (?) Cute. And all you twitter people made me feel a ton better. Thanks for the kind words yesterday!

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I don't mean to harp on the subject, it's just that my life depends on me being able to walk places alone, without feeling afraid or harassed, and this is becoming my number one concern. I'm not worried about fashion, politics, or the price of gasoline, I'm worried about getting harassed by strangers, which subsequently ruins my day. And I keep wondering what I'm doing wrong, as though it's my fault. Why do they keep choosing me? It seems to me that being able to walk from point A to point B without being ogled or shouted at will never ever be a reality. Just LEAVE ME ALONE.

Do me a favor everybody. If you know somebody who yells at people in the streets, punch them in the throat. Thanks.

ANYWAY...

Forget summertime, forget humans, let's look at pretty pictures instead. Here are my sister's two photos of the day...a dog and a winter road.

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This is one of my sister's dogs. I think it's Bella, but maybe it's Lily. I don't know them very well...they're crazy huge awesome dogs who do that head cocking thing every time you ask them a question, which is never not funny. And here's a typical country road in Alberta too. As always, to use these photos, please email her at lyndonisawesome@gmail.com for permission.

I hope you all are having a great long-weekend!