Scary Santa Saturday, part 3 of 4.

It's time for another edition of SCARY SANTA SATURDAY! :) 

Did you know that in Austria (and maybe other places?) Santa is known as pure good...and then there is Krampus...the evil to balance all that goodness. If you're bad, rather than going on a lame old naughty list you get grabbed by Krampus' tongue and thrown into a sack. Then he brings you back to his ... cave? House? Apartment? And he eats you for dinner. Look at this cool parade they have in Graz, Austria!

via

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And now here's some regular old scary santas.

 

Hating the bus goes global: Chicago, USA

Meet Malori. She's one of us. She takes the train. These are her stories.

My  name is Malori and I’m a student in Chicago, Illinois.  My main mode of transportation is the “L” which is our elevated subway system.  I’ve lived here for almost three years and in my time on the trains and busses I’ve experienced some seriously odd sights, sounds, and smells.  Rather than sharing one story I thought I’d share my top 5 best public transit stories of all time.  Going in order from least offensive to most offensive—let’s kick things off, shall we?!

This is how the “L” looks--image source

5) For number five I simply want to draw attention to the way the subway smells: sort of a mix between high-powered cleaning supplies, drunk-person vomit/piss, old food, and sweat.  Some cars are worse than others but for the most part it is a seriously unappealing smell.  My freshman year of school I went on a field trip with one of my classes.  We hopped on a train and suddenly realized that a woman sitting in the car had peed… All. Over. The. Train.  At the next stop we leapt over the puddle of urine and into the next car over.  I showered immediately when I got back to my apartment.

4) The train is not always reliable.  Sometimes trains fall behind schedule or have to run express due to overcrowding.  Earlier this year I waited for a train home from work for at least 30 minutes.  Three trains on the tracks heading the opposite direction came and left in the time I was waiting.  I finally got on and we went ONE STOP before the conductor announced the train would be running express to a stop that was WAY farther than I needed to go.  After all of that waiting I ended up having to walk home.

3) Public transportation gets REALLY crowded during the summer in Chicago.  This is a problem because everyone is already sweating and miserable from the crazy humid weather we have then we’re crushed like sardines into the train cars, which just exacerbates the problem.  Over the summer I was heading home from some shopping and decided I’d rather take the train than walk the few miles home.  I squeezed onto a car and waited until we reached my stop.  The whole ride I kept feeling like the guy behind me was WAY too close but it’s difficult to tell if someone is being creepy or if there really just isn’t any space so I decided not to say anything.  Finally, the train got to my stop.  As I went to step off, the man behind me took the opportunity to full-on grab my ass.  Apparently he thought it was totally okay because I couldn’t see who he was.  This is not the only time someone has groped me on the train.

2) Sometimes the “L” doesn’t take me where I need to go and I have to hop on the real train (the “choo-choo” variety).  This is a different experience than the “L” because it’s generally more quiet, people have a bit more space, and have to stay on for longer.  This train is called the Metra in Chicago—I have to take it when I visit my brother who goes to school about an hour outside of the city.  One night my roommate and I were heading back downtown on the Metra after spending some time at my brother’s school.  We got on and sat down on the upper-level across the aisle from a guy who was loudly rapping.  Not long after sitting down, the rap-star wannabe makes his way over to our seats.  He gets too close to me, says something incomprehensible, then sits on my lap and puts his arm around me.  Ummm… who does that?  Seriously?

My roommate and I had been drinking so rather than helping me, she is laughing so hard she cannot breathe.  As this stranger sits on my lap, he begins to tell me about the music he is rapping to which sounds something like this, “mother fucking nigga bitch…”  After a couple minutes he attempts to put one of his headphones in my ear so I can listen along.  I am really grossed out by other people’s headphones and there is NO way a stranger is putting their headphone into my ear.  I keep pointing to the empty seat in front of me and asking if he’d like to get off my lap.  Rap-star is having none of it—apparently my lap is far more comfortable than the empty seat.  For the next 25 minutes he stays on my lap rapping to me and attempting to put his headphones in my ears.  I spent those minutes trying to get him off of my lap and blocking his attempts to make me listen to his music.  Finally he stands up, tells me to have a nice night, and goes on his way.  I don’t even have words to explain how ridiculous the entire experience was.  This also resulted in an immediate shower upon returning to my apartment.  Some people are crazy…

1) My number one story is actually my dad’s story.  My dad comes up to visit my brother and I quite often and is no stranger to horrible public transit experiences.  One night he was riding the Metra from Chicago to the suburbs that house my brother’s school.  A white woman sat down on the train next to a black gentleman.  Apparently she wasn’t happy with her seating options so she pulled the conductor aside and complained about having to sit next to someone who is black.  This woman must not have been to bright because the conductor she was complaining to was also black.  Also, it’s no longer the 1800’s…  I’m 100% sure that sitting next to someone who is black is no different than sitting next to someone who is white/purple/yellow/brown/teal/etc.  If you’re racist and refuse to sit next to someone who is a different color than you, drive.  She failed to realize that she’s an idiot and continued to complain to the conductor.  At the next stop, they politely asked her to get off of the train.  If I was the conductor, I can’t say I would have been so polite…

So those are my top five public transit horror stories.  It’s not all bad but it’s definitely not something I enjoy doing.  I’m so happy to have had the chance to share with all of you!  I can’t wait to read the other posts from ladies who also hate public transit—these stories always crack me up.

To hear more from me, stop by my blog Sunday Morning Sugar.  I cook, craft, and dress all fancy-like even though I don’t do many fancy things.  It’s good times all around!

HAHAHA wow. Thanks Malori! 

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If you want to participate in the public transit hate-fest, have any stories to share, have any tips for surviving the bus or just want to vent, please email me at novaisawesome(at)gmail(dot)com.

Things I Love Thursday

I love this old photo of me finding out Dwayne has aids. Degrassi FTW!

I also love... 

...that I got a new job here ... in fact, today is my first day! Wish me luck! :)

Finding out that a blogger I've been reading for a long time is a real life illustrator for Hallmark greeting cards! How cool is that?

This post on inspiration vs imitation.

A photo of my legs is gettin' around on Tumblr.

Cut away leaf art. 

The story of Sean.

Danielle's Latest: On Being Visibly Tattooed in a World That Isn't. 

Christmas around the world. 

This video, demonstrating how laughter is contageous. I even caught myself laughing along by the end. No kidding. Thanks April! 

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This...found via Miss. Indie. 

Hahahahaha amazing.

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The idea of a one word New Year's resolution. I'd choose 'responsibility' I think. But my resolution is already chosen: get a rose tattoo before I'm 30. It's just weird that I have no roses because I work with four guys who tattoo roses on people every single day pretty much.

Ask a mortician, episodes two and three.

Yes, pitbulls suddenly snap. (Thanks Rochelle)

My friend Gilly is looking for a roommate and writes about how it's going...people are weird. 

Old re-purposed or decaying theaters, as photographed by Yves Marchand and Romain Meffre. 

25 weird toilets around the world.

For the love of the lady mustache. 

The passage in Moby Dick about Queequeg's tattoos.

This is what it looks like when one guy tries to do a Haka flash mob. My favorite is the police man telling him "You can't just scream in New York City."

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This portrait made from millions of dots. Talk about patience. 

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Jimmy Kimmel's latest challenge to parents - give them a present they'll hate and film their reactions. It's definitely on par with the halloween candy video.

All you Radiohead fans, you may appreciate this arrangement played by members of the Morristown Colonial Symphony.

Beca's newest tattoo, so sweet. 

China's 'Wonderland'. It's kind of like Disneyland but creepy and abandoned.

Harmless weapons by Kyle Bean.

Louis CK. Period. I think he's the funniest comedian out there today. Also, this. Buy it! I did, I'm gonna watch it later today. 

This graph.

Ivy & Em jewelry - it's all made from recycled bike parts!

This picture my friend Sarah sent me on Twitter. Halloween costume, anybody? 

(Another old one of me from my MySpace days. The shirt says 'a clean house is a sign of a wasted life' on it. Damn hippie! And my mom got me that skull necklace because she's cool.)

diptych: one beautiful fall afternoon

diptych: chalk drawings

being a tourist in my own town

I love when people come to visit me. It's like an excuse to take photos of things I see every day, where normally I feel weird or embarassed to do so. Which is silly, I know. I still do it sometimes but it's easier when you're showing someone around. I also find I notice the beauty in the normal things again. These were all taken at the inner harbour in Victoria, just across the street from the Fairmont Empress hotel.

I'd also like to thank every single person who commented on my 'who reads my blog' post because WOW you guys really took the time to answer my questions, and I feel like I know you all a bit more. I've been replying to each comment, if I missed you don't worry, I'm still mid-reply! :) 

I can't wait to read all the books you guys have recommended me too, geez, you think you know something about books and then bam, nope. I'm starting with Ender's Game after I finish the books I'm already reading because three separate people said it was their all-time favorite. 

Thanks again everybody! And if you get a chance, go back and read everybody else's comments. I have the coolest readers!

Good mail days! :)

I am so effing lucky ...check out some of the cool stuff I've gotten in the mail lately.
I've been meaning to say thank you to you guys for weeks now but just keep forgetting to post it.

THANK YOU!!


I think my favorite thing is the closed-eyes portrait of me. Closed-eyes drawings never fail to make me laugh for some reason. It's a game I like to play while traveling...two people close their eyes and draw something and whoevers is more recognizable wins. Try it sometime, it's hilarious.

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Also uh, remember when I busted my feet and made friendship bracelets for days and days? Well I am selling them here in surprise pack/blind box-type dealys. It's ten small, five medium or two large bracelets for twenty bucks. I don't know how to tell you guys this but I'm not a millionaire or even a thousandaire and I could use the extra cash these days, you know, if you're feeling bracelet-y or charitable. That would be awesome.

(These are pictures of my rejects mostly, I wouldn't sell the crappy ones to you, obviously.)

I wonder who looks at my blog.

Hey lurkers, this one's for you! I know Caitlin, I know Erin, I know Amalie, I know Rochelle and I know a few others pretty well thanks to gift exchanges and twitter mostly. But what about the rest of you? WHO ARE YOU?

I think it's so awesome that so many people stop by here every. Single. Day. And you all look at my stupid words and my stupid pictures. It's so neat.

I want to return the favor, so please answer these questions in the comments, and feel free to steal this and throw it on your own blog as well because there's nothing more lame than a blogger who never acknowledges their readers or thinks of them as "fans".

I also encourage everyone else to read everyone else's comments and visit their blogs so we can all be friends together. Or is that going too far? Blog friends? Yes? No? 

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Ooookay, question(s) one: Where are you from? Where do you live? What's it like there? How's the weather? What do you do there? Are you a student? Do you work? Do you like your work?

Question two: Do you have a blog or website of some kind? Link it here if you want. I'll come by and check it out, I promise. Tell us a little bit about it.

Question three: Awkward self-improving-constructive-criticism time. Is there anything you love/hate about this blog? You can be honest, I'm a big girl. Although I did just get carded at the wine store the other day. So there's that. At least I look under thirty?

Mainly I'm trying to decide whether or not I should post less times a week, so focus on that if you can't think of anything else. I am literally posting something every single day...maybe I could move some stuff over to Tumblr if it's too much for you all.

Question four: Do you have any pets? Are they suuuuuper cuuuuuute? Could you please link us to a picture of your pets? Thanks.

Question five: I need some new music for the tattoo shop and my personal listening device. What is your all-time favorite album?

I don't want to hear about the album you think will make you sound cool. I'm talking like, you can NOT live without this album and have liked it for five years or more. Even if it's embarassing. I'll start: Marilyn Manson's Antichrist Superstar album. Yes I'm serious. (Also, please don't say something like "ALL LED ZEPPELIN", it's overwhelming to me to try and listen to an entire band, especially if I've never heard them before.)

Question six: What's a really good book I should read? I was reading the Song of Fire and Ice series but then my library loan expired and I have to wait for 13 more people to read the dang books before I get them again which could take weeks. I've downloaded Jonathan Safran Foer's Eating Animals and some other book about Japan I think?? but please give me some more suggestions while I die inside not knowing what's gonna happen to Bran.

That's it, I hope you actually do this so I can gain some new friends, music and books. And maybe you'll get some new readers and friends too if your answers are witty enough. That's how I decide to follow new blogs some of the time. Just sayin'.