Wednesday, May 5, 2010

Sometimes you just have to say stuff to people.

Dear Mom:
I want you to know that I think you're cool. I'm sorry for saying you embarrassed me when I was a teenager. I just didn't have the self-confidence and the insight into human beings that I do today. You really are just yourself, with no pretensions. You're a good person with a huge heart, and I really appreciate you and all your eccentricities. I hope I'm as cool as you when I grow up. I'm jealous of the relationship you and Lyndon have and I hate that I'm too distant to be able to cultivate anything near what you guys have.

Dear Step-Dad:
Yeah I really gave you hell when I was a teenager too. You must have been crazy, marrying a woman with a thirteen year old girl. Yikes. Thanks for always treating me as though I was your own child, even now that you and mom aren't together. No matter what, you are still in my family.

Dear Dad:
I'm almost glad I didn't really get to know you until I was an adult. You are super weird, but in all the good ways. I always tell stories about you to my friends. Remember "you talkin' to me" guy? When we were kids I didn't really appreciate all you did for us. I can't believe you drove all that way every second weekend to see us. Now that I see Ryan do the same thing I know that you loved us much more than I gave you credit for. I still remember having a little temper tantrum about a bass guitar you got me, I can't even remember why I did, but I'm SO SORRY for being a spoiled brat. Thanks for teaching me to love reading and good music. And thanks for letting me live in your house and convincing me that I was too smart to waste my life working in a grocery store.

Dear Step-Mom:
I was scared of you when I was a kid. There, I said it. (haha) But it turns out, you are awesome. Thank you so much for helping me out when I was stuck in Medicine Hat, spinning my wheels. Maybe you have no idea how much it meant to me that you guys let me stay with you and helped me start school, but really, you changed my life. Also, you showed me that 'adults' can be really cool, if that makes sense. Before I stayed with you guys I thought you hit thirty and it was all downhill from there...you guys do probably 300x more interesting stuff than I do. I'm glad you have been in my life, and these days I am really identifying with you. I find myself asking 'I wonder what Tara would do in this situation' because our relationship worked out, and now I am in basically the same relationship situation you and my dad were.

Dear Sister:
Thank goodness for facebook and text messaging, or I would die of Lyndon-deficiency. I can't believe how much I miss you sometimes. You are seriously the funniest person I know, and the times we have spent together (especially adventures we've had) are my favorite memories. Even though sometimes they weren't awesome while we were there. *cough*martashouse*cough*. I miss your face. Come visit me.

Dear Brother:
You too. I miss you like crazy, even though I feel like it's embarrassing to tell you that. I also feel really proud of you for running away to Birmingham and staying there. You've been gone for so long and seen so many awesome things that I've only dreamed about. I'm jealous but deep down in my guts I'm just happy that you got to get away and have some crazy experiences. I bet you've learned a lot in the past year and a half or whatever it's been. But yeah. I can't wait to see you again and I hope when (if?) you come back you decide to live in Victoria again. And this time we'll hang out. Really.

Dear Brother #2*:
Remember when we used to live in the same house? Probably not. It's been like ten years. Can you believe it? You were just a baby when I moved out. People used to ask me all the time if you were my baby, which I think would be almost physically impossible; you're so dark-skinned and I'm like the whitest lady on the planet. Anyway I am having a hard time accepting how old you're getting. I know, I know, what a stupid thing to say, but it's true.

Dear Brother #3:

Dear Brother #4:

Dear Sister #2:

Dear Boyfriend:

Dear Best Friend:
I haven't seen you in so long, I don't even know you anymore. And you don't know me. And I'm afraid that we aren't friends anymore. And that we can't be. You've taken on the mother role and I've taken the opposite side of the spectrum: the anti-mother role, I suppose. Do we even have anything in common anymore, other than a shared past? Maybe not.

Dear Other Friend:
I'm not sure what to call you, because I feel like you're my best friend too, but don't know what you think...plus you have a best best friend and you're also sisters now thanks to a couple awesome marriages to brothers.



*the numbers are ranking by age, not preference

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