diptych: I just love this building and some notes on being a woman in a bathing suit

I went with Ryan and the kids to the public swimming pool the other day. I don't know how they convinced me, but yeah. There I was in those germy basins of tepid water, along with like fifty pre-teens, babies in swimmer diapers, and a couple really hairy old men.

Anyway, at ten minutes before the public swim time was over, I decided to make my way to the change room to beat the crowd. I still have nakedness in public spaces issues, although I'd really like to just get over it, you know? So I got in there, and there was only me, two very nude older ladies, and three teenaged girls. 

The girls were getting ready for the "teen swim" that happens in the evenings at the pool. I changed quickly and discreetly, facing my locker and avoiding any eye contact, while purposely NOT covering up. Like I said, I'm trying to get over the nude in public fear. And nothing happened and it was fine and whatever, right? 

So just as I was mentally patting myself on the back for being topless and then bottomless in a change room without doing the whole awkward towel drape thing or running into a changeroom like a scared little rabbit, I overheard the teenage girls talking in front of the mirror.

They were straight up openly hating themselves. They were pinching parts of their (normal) bodies and yelling "EW" and "I am disgusting!" and "I can't go in public like this" and just all-out horrible things. And I remember doing the same thing, panicking when I had to be seen in a bathing suit. Um, yesterday. I still hate on myself in the same way, but quietly, on the inside. And I'm fighting it all the time. I tell myself to quit it, but then I do it anyway.

But hearing it out loud, it was terrible. I just wanted to turn around and say something, anything, to them. How it's unbecoming to be so self-conscious. How they were crazy and they looked beautiful. How they shouldn't care what people think anyway. How it doesn't matter at all.

And then I realized that I should maybe just focus on myself. Because I was doing the same thing as these girls, walking from the hot tub to the pool, all I was thinking of was how my thighs were probably jiggling and how I was sure every person at the entire pool was probably judging me, and maybe I should get a bathing suit that covers my stomach. Even though if I logically think about it, nobody even looked at me while I was walking, and if they did it was probably because I am covered in tattoos, not because I'm fifteen pounds overweight or whatever.

I don't know why it's so hard to get over these things ... anyone else turn into a paranoid weiner when they're in a bathing suit or is it just me?

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Related: Gala Darling's Radical Self Love Boot Camp is on sale right now!!

diptych: photos and audiobooks

I've been listening to audiobooks while walking to and from the bus stop, and on the bus if it's not too loud. What a great way to pass the time. I highly recommend it for anybody who has to do something repetitive every single day. I am going to try it the next time I clean the house.

I carry a camera with me at all times in my purse. Sometimes two. Right now I have both digital and a disposable film camera...hi tech and the lowest tech a camera can be I think, so when something like "Just Men Hair" catches my attention I can snap a picture in a jif.

I've found my mind goes blank and I stop listening during the few seconds I am lining up a shot. Every single time I've taken a photo while listening to the audio book I've had to rewind back because I straight up stopped listening. It's funny to figure out what your brain can and cannot do simultaneously.

Thing I Love Thursday

This week I only want to show you one thing because every single picture in this collection is so interesting, I thought it might be overkill to put them with other stuff. So...this week I love these cool-ass photos by Jon Rafman in his 9-eyes portfolio. From what I can gather, he either found these all from the Google Street view cars themselves, or he actually has his own vehicle like the Google Street View car...I'm not really clear, but either way he sure caught a lot of weird candid photos of people and scenery...each picture in this group really tells a story or makes you think and wonder. Here are some of my favorites, but there are many many more here. 

I actually thought these were fake at first, but knowing these are actual real scenes from real places in the world makes them all the more fascinating. Try and take a moment to really look at each picture. 

Click the pictures for a larger view.

For more, click here.

Wait...what?

We took the kids swimming somewhere kind of lame yesterday...but they're super stoked on it because it has one of those floating dock things that you have to swim out to and then you can like, stand on it, and um, you can, you know, sit on it or jump off of it, um...stand on it oh wait I already said that.

Anyway so I thought I'd bring my camera along, because I had never been there before and they were all excited to go and show me this dock thing. And then I took a picture of the dock thing.

And here it is:

I mean, yeah, it's alright. It's um...a floating piece of wood or whatever. So I took a nice photo of it. And when I got home I was going through my photos, like " Picture of the dog sitting on some rocks, picture of the dog standing beside some rocks, picture of the kids pretending the water isn't cold, picture of my feet standing near something quirky, picture of the dog "smiling"...oh yeah, here's that picture of the dock, that turned out okay...wait, what's that pyramid off in the distance? Computer, zoom in!"

And I swear I am not making it up that I didn't notice this until I got home.

And that it's real.

Does that say "BITCH"?

diptych: graffiti and a wager

A little paint sure turns a boring old building into something special. 

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Ryan's kids have suddenly gained an interest in wrestling. As in...Hulk Hogan wrestling. Or probably something more current. Anyway they somehow found out that these six wrestling matches were playing at a movie theater and they wanted to go. I declined the invitation but they went on ahead without me.

A few days prior, we all sat down and made bets on who would win each match. And we decided if one of us got all six winners correct, each person would have to do something for them for a week. For example, if I win the kids will do the dishes and tidy the house for a week, and Ryan has to drive me to and from the bus stop for a week. (haha)

If I lose to either one of the kids, I have to give him one sour key every day for a week (hahaha) and if I lose to Ryan I have to give him "two massages over the week, on any part of the body he thinks needs massaging, for as long as it needs to be massaged" He was very thorough with the double entendres.

Here's hoping I win.  

**update** Nobody won. We can all breathe easy for now.

Ask and ye shall receive

A few weeks ago I asked for help getting some Twinkies for Ryan's kids (see here if you don't remember what I'm talking about) and Caitlin and Abby stepped up and delivered. Big time. Check out some of the amazing treats I received in the mail the other day from these two lovely ladies, who each took time (and money! and thoughtfulness!) to send us care packages from their necks of the woods. Neck of the woods? Necks? Lawd, grammar eludes me sometimes.

Look at some of the rad (and strange?) stuff they sent here.

I love this note-card. It reminds me of library books.

Ryan called me at work when this arrived and said there was a package that said it had a t-shirt in it. I made him open it while I was on the phone because I couldn't remember ordering a shirt from anywhere online. Well, turns out it was a hilarious surprise. He tried to explain that there was a bear sucking on a cow's teat and I just couldn't even imagine what he was talking about, haha!

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That night we told the boys we had a surprise for them and gave them each a package of two twinkies while we were watching the movie Zombieland for the 228393th time. The look on their faces was like the easter bunny showed up carrying santa's sack which was full of leprochaun's pots of gold. They ate the twinkies slowly, saving them for the scenes where 'Tallahassee' talks about twinkies and when he gets to eat one in the end, they held up their final bites and cheers-ed the television.

When it was over, they said things like "This was the only twinkie I will ever get to eat in my life" and generally bemoaned their poor snack-cake-less Canadian existances.

Little do they know we stashed away two entire boxes of twinkies for Christmas. Those things never go bad, right? haha

Thanks again ladies. You really made their day!

I had a stupid morning yesterday

that culminated in me picking my iPod up off the sidewalk, throwing my umbrella, and scream-crying "FUCK!" at the bus driving past me in the rain. Oh, and by the way, TOMS shoes + brand new We Love Colors red tights + accidentally stepping in puddles =

Totally ruined.