Wednesday, March 31, 2010

He that is of the opinion money will do everything may well be suspected of doing everything for money.-Benjamin Franklin

Something happened today, which is the following thing that I'm about to tell you.
I received a letter in the mail from the university. And it goes like this:

To: All Graduating Students
From: Ceremonies and Events Office
Date: March 29, 2010

As one of our graduating students bla bla bla congratulations bla bla bla, significant accomplishment bla bla bla we require all graduating students to visit our website bla bla bla.

(instructions for how to work the internet)

Please find attached yet another way we are going to try and get blood from a stone, which is a metaphor for you giving us more money even though you're super broke from that whole 'giving us $50,000' thing. Anyway so when you come to the grad ceremony you have to rent one of those stupid cape things and the square hat thing with the tassel and if you pay extra your rental robe can have a hood! Wow! But not if you're just getting a certificate or diploma because you're not cool enough to have a hood on your stupid robe.

Also, please be advised that we are selling more crap you don't need to buy from us, like flowers and "diploma frames" because there is no way you can get one of those from the dollar store. Don't even look there.

Also? There's a five dollar a day late fee for those robes, in case you're thinking about wearing it around town for days after you graduate.

All ceremonies are broadcast live and can be accessed through (website).
The end.
From, the university.
P.S. Give us money.

I am totally not going.


This week is a killer. I've been getting up at 4am, writing, researching, writing more, researching more...studying, trying to keep up.

Today I handed in a 2000 word research paper that I wrote(in Spanish) yesterday and finished this morning...and I actually think it turned out okay.

I also gave a presentation on Tina Modotti, who was a bad-ass Italian communist lady who spent a bunch of time in Mexico and the USA and ... Spain, Russia, Germany. Anyway she was cool so I was actually kind of excited to give the presentation.

And I found that because the class I had to talk to was so small, it wasn't very scary. I did have two moments of distinct nervousness. And something very strange happened in these moments: I STUTTERED.

It wasn't like "oh, I can't quite pronounce the word" or "oh I'm stalling for time by saying the same sound a few times."


It was full-on stuttering.

I have never done it before and it was weird. T-t-t-t-t-t-Tina...I completely couldn't get control of my tongue.

It was sort of scary. That shit doesn't start later in life does it? Yikes!


  1. Oh man, I HATE HATE HATE presentations. I had to do a debate on monday and I thought it would be ok, I'd practiced my best 'house of commons' voice and banging on the podium, etc. And then I stood up in front of my 80 person class, and my instructor and my douche TA and I thought I was going to pass out. My legs were shaking but I managed to hold myself together until I got to the part about, " I urge you all to reflect upon the nursing education that you have received amid the walls of this esteemed institution of learning.....", and then the class started laughing and I got into the super nervous giggle thing. I got myself under control and managed to finish ok. But my team did lose 0.25 points for the lead debater (me) losing composure (nervous giggling). The TA actually wrote that on our evaluation. What a dick.
    Anywho, the end is near, so hang in there and we'll see you on the other side.

  2. hahahaha wow, your story is so much worse than mine! thanks jen.


Digame entonces.

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