the oh so interesting bus stop **updated - now with pictures**

I did end up looking in the sketch book and it was just ugly sketches of furniture. So weird. The suitcase was really cool, if only it hadn't been filled with underwear (????) I might have taken it.

Also recently a man at a bus stop stared at my chest for an uncomfortably long time and then asked me if I had a tattoo of a dragon there. A dragon? Really?

And then that evening a crazy person was listening to super loud hiphop, like not even using headphones, and straight up headbanging to it with sunglasses on. For forty five minutes. I tried to ignore him by turning my music up and looking out the window but I could see his reflection! Raaa!

I know I said I say things to people when they're being idiots but not when they are clearly on drugs and would probably just punch me in the neck. Ah the bus.

***UPDATE***

I may not have instagram but I hardly ever leave home without a camera. Unfortunately my bus came as I was shooting, and I was trying to make the pictures not just look like ... pictures of piles of garbage at the bus stop so I only got these two photos but still...you get the point.

NSFW - willy bum bum

I'm not sure why I'm sharing this. I guess I have the sense of humor of a 12 year old. Anyway this entire video is so stupid and definitely not safe for work or church or grandmas. Unless your grandma is into silly cartoons and songs about butts and wangs. So on that note...

"You friendly old bum," hahahaha WHY DO I THINK THAT'S FUNNY?

What does a sneeze smell like?

When I sneeze it smells like honey. 
What's up with that?

At first I thought it was the face masks I wear at work when I'm sterilizing the equipment. Like, maybe the masks are scented, but only when wet as some kind of safety thing, you know, so when your mask gets fluid on it that could possibly be contaminated? Makes sense, right?

But then we did experiments at work...somebody (I can't remember who it was!) helped me do all kinds of tests: spitting and pouring water on the masks. Nothing...except for the next time I'd sneeze into one. (I know it's weird, but after four years I'm bound to sneeze while wearing a mask more than once.)

What brought this up? Well I just sneezed...and there was a definite honey smell. Again. What is going on? Is it possible that there are tiny bees living in the back of my throat, making honey? Nose bees?

...

Well guess what guys, it's an actual thing. I just Googled it. Yeah, I did my research halfway through writing a post....ANYWAY it's actually called "honey sneeze". Shocker. It normally smells like honey, beeswax, pollen, baby powder, hay, or just "sweet". There are plenty of theories on why it happens...and it seems like it is actually pretty common. (And I thought I was crazy special.)

Here are some of the theories on why some people's sneezes smell like honey:
*note* Some of these don't make any sense. Also? I found these on the internet so take it all with a grain of salt.

-Sinus infection.
-Bacterias in your head tubes that smell...like honey.
-Bad breath/hallitosis.
-Mucus with similar chemical makeup to sugar.
-The atmosphere changes chemical makeup when you sneeze.
-Medicine you're taking.
-The sneeze clears out your nose and you can really get a good whiff of what your body smells like.
-Diabetes.
-It's your body's reward to you for letting a sneeze out, because if you hold them in you could cause an aneurysm.
-A ton of scary medical anomalies that don't even make sense but that's what happens when you look up any symptom or change in your body...suddenly you have cancer, AIDS and leprosy.
-It just does and nobody knows why.

...

I kind of like it. And now that I know that it's a thing, and not just my imagination, I can just sit back and enjoy the smell, post-sneeze. Although ever since that summer I worked on a honeybee farm, doing bee stuff and honey extraction, I actually really don't really care for the smell of honey...yuck.

The good news is that I have the best of the "scented sneeze" world. Apparently there are tons of people out there with bad smelling sneezes. And other people can smell them! (Get up close to me next time I sneeze, it's true!)

There are actually people out there who sneeze out the smell of:

-spiders
-musk
-dirt
-copper
-urine (!)
-bad breath
-old cheese
-a "rape field" (This is canola btw.)
-raked up leaves
-rotten teeth
-dead animals
-mold

Have any of you experienced this strange phenomenon? What do your sneezes smell like?

We went out on Saturday. The end of the night got kinda weird.

Ryan and I went to a dubstep show on Saturday. Yeah, you heard right. At least I think it was dubstep. I get totally lost every time someone starts talking musical subgenres. And I'll be honest, I went into the show with a super negative attitude; if there's not guitars, punching and yelling I'm usually not anywhere near live music. But Ryan really likes these guys, and he promised to buy me drinks so we went together.

I was pleasantly surprised. It's still not really my cup'o'tea but it wasn't terrible, and there were way less hippies than I was expecting. Here's some examples of the music...PK Sound did the sound, and if you don't know who they are then never mind, but they're like, the best sound guys in Canada. So imagine this music louder than any music you've ever heard live. It's kind of heavy and evil sounding.

This is Mark Instinct (who I actually thought was kind of cool):

 

This is Subvert (who I didn't care for, we left halfway through his set...just too dance-music-y):

Here's a picture of us watching Mark Instinct. We're way up on the balcony. There's a bar up there and a phenomenal view. But uh, it looks like I was more interested in talking to Ryan, haha. We stayed up there most of the night because everywhere else was completely packed with people dancing way too hard and/or slutty. I was scared. :)

We were offered MDMA like a thousand times at that show. I guess that's the cool thing to do these days? And I was all like "Hugs, not drugs." A local graffiti guy, PESTO, designed the stage, it's hard to tell from this photo but it's built out of a bunch of tree branches and in the back there were dancers?

Photo stolen from Charlotte Dobre's facebook pics. 

She is a fantastic photographer by the way! Check out her website HERE. 

She has the best job. Ever.

 

Here are some random conversations I overheard/was part of that night:

---

(Standing in line to go into the show, there were 20 year old boys behind us who kept somehow butting in front of us, one by one, and were talking over our heads.)

Boy 1: Remember that party at Jeff's house? And you had that Garbage Pail Kids jacket on? That was hilarious.

Boy 2: Garbage Pa...no, that wasn't me.

Boy 1: No, yeah. I'm pretty sure it was.

Boy 2: Listen, I'm pretty sure I'd remember having a Garbage Pail kids jacket.

Boy 1: Oh wait, no, it wasn't you. That was Ian (insert last name of guy I know here)

Me: LOL (Because of course he has a Garbage Pail Kids jacket, why wouldn't he?)

Boy 1: (To Ryan and I) Hey do you girls have a pen in your purse?

Me: (Glaring at him, because um, Ryan's a man and I didn't even have a damn purse.)

Ryan: Oh yeah, I think I saw one at the back of the line!

Boy 1: (Oblivious) Huh. Well thanks anyway.

---

(Outside, 2AM-ish, Ryan and I were just about to leave when we ran into our hilarious friend who was just on his way back in to find somebody. He wants to smoke a cigarette and we decide to stand with him and wait for a taxi to drive by. A kid in a t-shirt walks up to us.)

Kid: Why are you outside? Don't you like the music?

Ryan: Yeah man, but I don't like the direction Subvert is taking the music (technical words I don't understand).

Me: Not really.(I'm tired and kind of grouchy because 50 taxis are pulling up, looking at us and leaving.)

Kid: (Turns to me.) WHAT? YOU DON'T LIKE DUBSTEP? What do you like? Hakuna Matata?

Me: Hahaha. Yep. That's what I like. 

Kid: You guys have a light? 

Me: (Picking up a matchbook off the sidewalk with one match left in it.) Here ya go.

Kid: Thanks. 

Ryan: You only have ONE CHANCE!

Friend of ours: Yeah! Light it or you have to suck our dicks.

Me: (WTF look on my face)

Ryan: (Laughing) (He had a lot more to drink than I did)

Kid: Well....how about just his? (Gestures to Ryan.)

Me: You're considering it?

Kid: My girlfriend just had an abortion and we broke up.

Us all: (Tugging on our collars, Simpsons style, because suddenly he's not so funny.)

---

(In the taxi home)

Taxi driver: I'm just glad you guys are like, normal people for once.

Ryan: Yeah I bet you get drunk assholes all the time.

Taxi driver: Don't even get me started.

(We sit in silence for a minute.)

Taxi Driver: You wouldn't believe the week I've had.

Me: Oh, really?

Taxi driver: Yeah. Fucking crazy.

Me: Mmhm?

Taxi driver: Like, the worst week of my life.

Ryan: What happened?

Taxi driver: You don't even want to know.

(We sit in silence for a minute.)

Taxi driver: I really need to get this off my chest. Can I tell you guys something?

Ryan: Sure, man.

Me: Yeah, totally. What's up?

Taxi driver: My friend, well no, not my friend. This guy I know from a long time back...you know when it was snowing a few weeks ago? 

Me: Yeah.

Taxi driver: Well I found out he had nowhere to stay, he was on the streets, so I told him he could come stay with me. You know, do something nice for the guy.

Ryan: Mhm.

Taxi driver: So anyway he was just like, staying on my couch and then one day he was gone and the cops come to my door at like eight in the morning and it turns out he fucking murdered somebody and they had him in custody and they want me to come in for questioning. 

Me: Wait, what?

Taxi driver: And I mean, like he woke up one morning in my house, went out, fucking murdered somebody, came back and then I took him shopping at Walmart.

Ryan: Uh...

Taxi driver: It was like, he walked in just as I was leaving and I said "Hey I'm going to the store" and he was like "Can I come with you? I need to pick up a few things." And then we went shopping together just like everything was normal. How can I ever trust anybody ever again?

Me: Uh...holy shit.

Taxi driver: And now they want me to go to court at eight in the morning as like, a witness. I never get out of bed until like two in the afternoon, I'm gonna be all tired in court. Well, here we are, you guys have a good night. 

Me: Yeah. Good luck with that...murder...investigation...

---

Also? That murder happened in my neighborhood. Sweet.

I'll just say it in screen grabs and youtube videos.

Oh Japan.

All these earthquakes. I never comment on huge disasters because it's already being said all over the world: so sorry, we're thinking of you, get well soon...hope that whirlpool works out for you.

I can't imagine what it feels like to have a 6 meter high wall of black sludge destroy everything I ever knew. Terrifying doesn't describe it. No word does. Devastation? No. It's worse.

Imagine being in a building that wasn't built to code in an earthquake. And you're on the fifth floor. Also? It's on fire and there's a tsunami outside. I mean...from afar the photos of burning apartment buildings are touching but really put yourself in there. Desperate, panic, you and your family are going to die. How can we sit here and watch and say "I pray for you." and feel good about ourselves?

Oh, well I also updated my facebook status. You know, solidarity.You go, Japan.

I saw people on tumblr being all like "stop talking about this boring tsunami", and am disgusted with all of you who feel that way. We're sitting here on our asses, comfortable and safe, peering into the private destroyed lives of thousands of people. The least we can do is be compassionate. 

I don't know where I'm going with this. I just feel like I had to say something.

I am in no position to help, but if you are, please do. When these disasters occur, find a reputable place and donate your money. Donate your time, labor and love. I hear the Red Cross does wonders.

Thanks for listening.

"Dreaming Of Burger"

I found this cardboard hitchhiking sign next to the highway on my way to the bus stop yesterday. It says 

Dreaming of Burger

Thx

Merci

What the hell does that mean? Is 'burger' a place? Or was some French-Canadian with limited English just really hungry?

And apparently the hitchhiker got picked up and they ditched the sign.

My Yesterday

Boss: Can you pick up some tacos from the truck down the street?
Me: Sure.
Boss: Oh, and some tortilla soup. No dairy. (He's vegan.)
Me: Of course.
Boss: And if they don't have the soup then some more tacos. But they better have soup or you're fired.

(Enter long and joking* discussion about the repercussions and legal actions that would be taken if I got fired.)

*I hope, ha!

Me: Please don't fire me.
Boss: Okay.

(I go to the taco truck and order food.)

Me: (Waiting for food)
(Super Fat Drunk Guy walks over.)

Drunk Guy: (Slurring to the point of intelligibility) How much for ketchup chips?
Taco Truck Guy: Two dollars.
Drunk Guy: I'm a shaman but I don't like to do it in the street. (Sways precariously)
Taco Truck Guy: Oh.
Drunk Guy: I'm waiting for a bus. (Note: there's no bus stop anywhere near the taco truck)
Taco Truck Guy: (To me) Here's your food.
Me: Yay! (I take it back to the shop)

Me: OMG you guys, you shoulda seen the super drunk guy at the taco truck. (does awesome impression of drunk guy, then opens the lid to make sure the soup is right before I hand it to the boss. It is but HAS CHEESE ON IT! DISASTER! VEGAN BOSS!)

Me: Crap. There's cheese on it! I'll be right back.

(I walk back to the taco truck)

(Drunk guy is still there.)

Drunk guy: YOU'RE MEXICANS.
Taco truck guy: ...Yeah?
Me: Um, sorry, I need this soup to not have cheese on it, my boss is vegan. No dairy.
Taco Truck Guy: Oh, sorry! No cheese! Yes. (Takes it back)
Me: Yes! Thanks. (Waits patiently)
Drunk guy: (Stumbles) Fucking chips. I had a hamburger.
Taco Truck Guy: ...yes. Chips. Do you want a taco?
Drunk guy: How much are they, ten dollars?
Taco Truck Guy: Six for six dollars.
Drunk Guy: I had a hamburger. You're an asshole. Shaman. It's dark then light and it changes my mood.
Taco Truck Guy: (To me) Here's your soup. No cheese! Sorry again!
Me: Thank you so much!
Drunk guy: GRACIAS AMIGOS. FUCK YOU MEX-IGOS. GRACIAS.  MEXICO.

(I walk back to the shop with the new soup)

Me: Okay. No cheese!

(I open the soup to check that everything's okay this time...but there's a big fat dollop of sour cream in it.)

Me: Nooooo! There's sour cream on it!
Boss: NO!
Me: (sigh) I'll be back again.

(I go back to the taco truck, giddy with the silliness of the situation)

Me: Hey, my soup has sour cream in it.
Taco Truck Guy: Oh no! So sorry!
Me: No, it's okay. I just need straight up soup with tortillas on top.
Taco Truck Guy: Yes. Sorry! No problem.

(I wait patiently)
(Taco Truck Guy hands me two bowls of soup with no lids on them)

Me: ?
Taco Truck Guy: You take two, sorry again!
Me: Thank you?


I walk back to the shop again, this time definitely sure about the dairy status of the soup because of the lack of lids I could see that there was nothing but soup and tortilla chip thingys in there.

I get to the shop and remember the door is a 'pull' type door. And my hands are full of two hot and red-colored soup. That spells disaster right? What would you do?

I, like a total idiot, forged ahead anyway and tried to just pull the door open with one of my soup-holding hands. Of course the door opened faster than I expected and the soup spilled all over me. Like  half a damn bowl of tortilla soup.

No, seriously, all over me. It splashed down the front of my hoodie. It got on my (very light colored) skirt. It even somehow got on the inside of my sleeve,  and on my back.

...and that's when I lost my mind.

It was like this, only times ten thousand.

Image from ragetoons.com

icy fountain

 I don't understand what the city I live in is thinking sometimes...aren't you supposed to um...not have fountains running when the weather is below freezing? Or am I crazy? Well anyway it makes for some beautiful pictures!

Ice makes everything pretty. :)

8 legged moose.

That is all.

Seriously, who names candy "chicken bones"?

Due to a funny chain of events, Ryan and I 

ended up at WalMart yesterday. 

Let's just say that nobody sells Dickies except 

WalMart. Trust me, we looked.  

What's a dickie you ask? It's like...a faux turtleneck. 

I can't tell you whether or not we found one, 

it's a surprise for a later date.

You know what other image came up 

when I searched "Dickie"? 

This:

AMAZING.

Anyway, they sure do sell a lot of ... interesting stuff at Walmart. 

I'll show you a few of the things I deemed worthy of a photograph. 

Exhibit A: target practice cubes for children 

in the toy section!

Exhibit B: Opened decapitated chocolate Woodys.

Exhibit C: Uhm...chicken bones. (?)

As we were laughing at this, some lady came

over and told us these were her favorite candies. 

Dickie image 1 from here.

Dickie image 2 from here.

Blurry and Grainy Photos of a Pretty and Noisy Night

(click any photo to enlarge)

(although there's no point 'cause they're so out of focus)

 And last but not least...the Simpsons truck. 

I doubt they have the proper permission to use these, but hey, it looks pretty cool.

Fill in the blank!

is...?

Tank takes me for a walk...

Isn't it funny how I turned the words around, so like, it sounds like he was dragging me around. Not really. He's a good walker and everything but after a while it's like "where the hell else could we go?". He showed me. First we found this interspace time travel portal made from snow.

 We found some...wood. And clover. That part was kind of boring. 

But he peed on it and I thought it was funny. Good boy.

And then he took me to this army bunker, also made from snow. 

You can see the windows for canons or rifles or what-have-you.

After that we found the tracks that were obviously made from some kind of UFO and not the neighbor's 17 year old son's friends when the parents were out of town, 

because he swears he didn't have a party. Of course we believe him!

And then Tank took me to the end of the road. Where there is just like, a wall of scary trees. Or so I thought. I guess the other neighbors with dogs take their dogs for walks up there and Tank could smell them, 

or else my dog is just super smart, because he immediately found a trail! 

 

I was kind of like "no, I dunno, maybe we shouldn't...I don't know if this is these people's yard..." but he insisted, and I was bored at home anyway so off we went into the great unknown woods. 

Turns out other humans had been there before, as evidenced by this bottle in the tree. Real nice, jerks!

It was a really pretty walk. 

There were mossy trees, mossy rocks, fungus of all shapes and sizes...

...and a bunch of old wrecked cars! WHAT THE?!

 How cool is that?