Wednesday, December 22, 2010

Baby It's Cold Outside! (and rapey inside)

 Isn't 'Baby It's Cold Outside' the most date-rapey Christmas song you've ever heard? 
Have you ever paid attention to the lyrics?

Here, I'll show you.

Blue is the man part, red is the lady part, and the photos are my commentary.
(as always, if you click the photo you can see a larger version)

I really can't stay
(but baby it's cold outside)

I've got to go away
(but baby it's cold outside)

This evening has been
(been hoping that you'd drop in)
So very nice
(i'll hold your hands, they're just like ice)

My mother will start worry
(beautiful whats your hurry)

My father will be pacing the floor
(listen to the fireplace roar)

So really i'd better scurry
(beautiful please don't hurry)
but maybe just a half a drink more
(put some records on while i pour)

the neighbors might faint
(baby it's bad out there)
say what's in this drink

(no cabs to be had out there)

i wish i knew how
(your eyes are like starlight now)
to break this spell
(i'll take your hat, your hair looks swell)
i ought to say "no, no, no sir"

(mind if i move in closer)


at least i'm gonna say that i tried
(what's the sense in hurtin' my pride)

i really can't stay
(oh baby don't hold out)

both:baby it's cold out side

i simply must go
(but baby it's cold outside)
the answer is no

(but baby it's cold outside)

your welcome has been
(how lucky that you dropped in)
so nice and warm
(look out the window at that storm)

my sister will be suspicious
(gosh your lips look delcious)

my brother will be there at the door
(waves upon the tropical shore)

my maiden aunts mind is vicious
(gosh your lips are delicous)

but maybe just a cigarette more
(never such a blizzard before) 
I've gotta get home
(but baby you'd freeze out there)

say lend me a coat

(it's up to your knees out there)
you've really been grand
(i thrill when you touch my hand)
but don't you see?
(how can you do this thing to me?)

there's bound to be talk tomorrow
(think of my lifelong sorrow)

at least there will be plenty implied
(if you got pneumonia and died)

I really can't stay
(get over that old out)

both:baby it's cold
baby it's cold outside

So basically, this entire song is about a girl who is trapped 
at a date rapist's house because of a blizzard. 
Real nice.


  1. Damn. I've always loved that song. ....Now I'm worried. I don't think I've ever had any date rape fantasies....

  2. Lol!!! That was awesome. Seriously. I don't think I've ever forwarded a blog, but this was freaking hilarious. I have to share.

  3. Exactly why I hate most Christmas music.
    You are cute, by the way. Merry Kwanzaa!

  4. This is amazing! You should guest star with Dr. Drew on 16 and Pregnant! I am now going to make your blog my 16 year old daughter's home page (because she doesn't believe a word I say about boys).

  5. It's even more creepy when Willy Nelson is singing it to Norah Jones.

  6. @owo Sorry if I ruined it for you! :)
    @free flying haha yay!
    @vic - You're cutest. Christmas music blows.
    @dbs - should I? hahah Well I've never heard that one before.
    @Chelle- yeah, it would be.

  7. I hate that I really like this song! It was so cute in Elf and recently in Glee. Just can't think about the words too much.

    PS Found your blog through Sometimes Sweet!


Digame entonces.

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