Humanity, maybe we do need a rapture after all...oh, and Lyndon's Sunday Photo Corner too! (#3)

So I'm really really bummed with humanity these days. I was totally sexually harassed the other day, walking to the grocery store. Actually I had a ten minute span of terrible...first my cell phone rang while I was walking to the store from the bus stop. It was a wrong number, and when I said so to the unintelligible crazy man on the other end, he asked what number he called.

I said "Well...you called me!" and he said in a slimy lecherous voice "Come on, honey, help me out." I hung up immediately. It turned from an innocent "woops-wrong-number" call to a real creepy sex-phone-line call and I was not having it. He didn't call back. I kept walking.

A couple minutes later, I had to cross at this sketchy-ass crossing that I usually avoid because it's so dangerous...I'd rather take my chances running across a busy street usually; there are flashing lights and a zebra crossing and everything but it's just off the highway so most of the cars are still going 80km/h and looking at the traffic they're going to merge with instead of straight ahead. When I was like halfway across the crosswalk I heard a SCREEEEEEEEEEE! Someone had to slam on their brakes, and I barely escaped being run over! I was fine, but that kind of thing can terrify the toughest hombre.  

I shook it off and kept walking. And five minutes later, with the grocery store in sight, a car ended up stopped beside where I was walking. It was a car full of 20-something kind of fat nerd white-boys. I was on a mission to get to the grocery store and didn't notice them until I heard "...now THERE'S some pussy!" 

 I stopped walking and turned in the direction of the voice. I was pissed off. It was a green car with the windows rolled down. I looked at them and the passenger in the car gave me a sleazy nod, as if to say "What's up baby?"  

I gave them the finger, my only thought at the moment was "fuck them and don't let them think you like being ogled and called 'some pussy'". When they drove past, my heart started racing. My thoughts raced as well: 

What if my middle finger gesture made them angry and they came back? I shouldn't have done anything. Maybe I should just go home. I'm afraid. Wait. Why am I afraid exactly? What are those nerds going to do? But there are so many of them. And they used the word 'pussy'. No. They won't do anything. I can't let them stop me from going to the goddamn grocery store for fucks sake. But what if I see them in the grocery store? Then confront them face to face and see how tough they are. Yes. 

Can you believe I almost went home? I literally stopped in my tracks once the car was out of sight and turned around. I walked a few steps toward home until I changed my mind and decided that I would be strong and I did really need to buy food.

I know that there's a whole internet movement trying to convince the world that this type of behavior, (i.e. cat calling and shouting out car windows) is NOT a compliment...you've probably heard all this before on countless other blogs, but hey gentlemen ... it is scary to be a woman sometimes. See the "how many women" tumblr to get an idea...

You think your comment is harmless? Now I will probably never wear that exact outfit again, even though it was just a pretty and casual thing I threw together, perfect for the impending hot summer. Because somewhere inside of me I blame my clothing on what happened, even though I know it's silly. Every time I put on that dress I'll think about the time someone called me "some pussy". And every time I see a green car of the same make I will instinctively flinch, panic, get ready for a verbal assault, be afraid.

I seem to get a lot of sexual harassment wherever I go...or just...generally strangers feel the need to yell things at me. I'm trying to figure out why. I talk to other women and they seem surprised to hear about all the shouting, name calling and random comments I get. I mean, here are some examples from the past few days:

"Hey blondie! I'm not done talking to you!"

This came from a drunk man, literally lying on the sidewalk, after asking where to buy a pint for three dollars and showing me his hot stuff tattoo...btw I am not blonde? It was weird.

"Hey girl! Where ya going with those waffles?"

Uh, I was carrying waffles...this one was kind of funny I guess. But still weird. Why would you just shout something like that at some "girl"? Also, I'm nearly thirty...when are people gonna stop calling me "girl"?

"Can I ask you something? How much money have you invested in your tattoos?"

Yeah, some guy came up to me while I was waiting to pick up a torta from the taco truck for my boss' lunch and asked me this. How rude! I should have asked him how much his mortgage is. It's funny because I was just recently re-reading Kaelah's tattoo etiquette guide on 'how not to be a douche', in which she talks about people asking her how much her tattoos cost and I remember thinking how nobody has ever asked me that, that I can remember. And then, the very next day it happened! (BTW, that's a great read, please go there and read it ASAP...especially those of you who don't have tattoos.)

I have decided two things after this awkward conversation:

Thing one: Next time a stranger says "Can I ask you something?" out of the blue, I am going to say "No."

Thing two: If someone asks me how much my tattoos cost again, I am going to say "I don't talk about my financial endeavors with strangers." I even practiced saying it, so I don't forget the key phrase "financial endeavors".

And then, just yesterday I got:

"There's a big ass!"

Just screamed out the window of a truck driving past. This wasn't scary, just straight up humiliating, as there were like eighty people around who immediately turned to see where the big ass was. I mean...come on. That's awful. I actually pretended like I didn't hear them laughing as they drove away, walked back into the tattoo shop, went to the back room and had a good cry. I can not understand people's motives, you guys. 

Is that funny? To shout terrible things at people who are minding their own business? I certainly don't think so.

On the plus side of that one I got to see just how sweet the guys at my work are. They were all trying to distract me by talking about bulldog puppies and offering to beat up the mean people for me because I'm like their "little sister" and our friend Brian bought me toy dinosaurs to throw at the jerks. (?) Cute. And all you twitter people made me feel a ton better. Thanks for the kind words yesterday!

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I don't mean to harp on the subject, it's just that my life depends on me being able to walk places alone, without feeling afraid or harassed, and this is becoming my number one concern. I'm not worried about fashion, politics, or the price of gasoline, I'm worried about getting harassed by strangers, which subsequently ruins my day. And I keep wondering what I'm doing wrong, as though it's my fault. Why do they keep choosing me? It seems to me that being able to walk from point A to point B without being ogled or shouted at will never ever be a reality. Just LEAVE ME ALONE.

Do me a favor everybody. If you know somebody who yells at people in the streets, punch them in the throat. Thanks.

ANYWAY...

Forget summertime, forget humans, let's look at pretty pictures instead. Here are my sister's two photos of the day...a dog and a winter road.

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This is one of my sister's dogs. I think it's Bella, but maybe it's Lily. I don't know them very well...they're crazy huge awesome dogs who do that head cocking thing every time you ask them a question, which is never not funny. And here's a typical country road in Alberta too. As always, to use these photos, please email her at lyndonisawesome@gmail.com for permission.

I hope you all are having a great long-weekend!