Monday, September 7, 2009
sarahk on tv
watch sarah kramer on Canada A.M tomorrow morning (on CTV) - she says she's on during the last 15 minutes of the show
Friday, September 4, 2009
a picture of my cock
ahahahaaaaa get it? double entendre! zzzing!
sorry about the terrible quality of photo, i just used the webcam on my netbook for maximum upload speed
so yeah, the tattoo
i did that today.
it wasn't too painful* until like the last fifteen or twenty minutes. then i got all quiet and angry, as usual.
but it looks pretty rad, no?
(yes)
i learned something too!
being a rather ... curvy** ... lady, i have stretch marks on my hips, like, on the sides. i guess my skin couldn't keep up with the explosion of sexiness that happened around the year 1994 in the waist/hip area.
anyway, so i have these stretch marks. they're super light colored and hardly noticeable.
unless you're a tattooer.
then you see a veritable obstacle course.
okay not really, but stretch marks are fucking weirder than i thought. and they get ANGRY when you tattoo them. they turn all red and stick out, like they get all swollen. it's so strange.
and then they feel like they're little lines full of jelly or something. you know when you get a bump on your head or ... i don't know how to explain it. but anyway it's weird.
and yeah...totally awkward when you're lying down on a massage table and your shirt is practically up around your bra and half your ass is hanging out probably and your boss is the one who had to help you tuck a dental bib down your pants to protect them and he's like "aagh your stupid stretch marks"
and oh yeah, you have to work there with everybody tomorrow
and someone else you work with is telling you "nice cock"
and someone else you work with is saying "i can see your bum!" to which you reply "DON'T LOOK AT IT"
and also, you're lying on your side and your boss is like "i hate tattooing girls with hips because of this spot" and taps your waist/hip area where the waist is all beautifully small and lovely in comparison to your ghetto booty but all he sees is an awkward tough area to shove needles into and see what he's doing at the same time
oh, and you're kind of curled up on your side, and so that chubby tummy you've been meaning to get rid of one of these days is all mushed together into a fat blob and it's just hanging out because your shirt is up and your pants are down
also, you're really sweaty and you can feel your t-shirt getting totally soaked around your armpits, and the barrier sheet underneath you has sweat marks on it as well.
i know, i really made it sound glamorous. but i actually had a lot of fun today.
so yeah. that was today's adventure, in a nutshell.
*by "it wasn't too painful" i mean it fucking hurt like a son of a bitch but i was able to maintain a conversation for the first hour and a bit without doing that sharp intake of breath thing or the stop in the middle of the sentence until they're done tattooing the area they're tattooing thing or the saying "i'm just not going to talk for a bit" thing.
**by "curvy" i don't mean i'm 300 pounds and am trying to justify it by saying "oh, i'm curvy, love my curvy body, you're just afraid of my seven stomach curves" - hey fatties, fat rolls don't count as "curves" in my book***
but i have that total hips/butt/boobs/waist thing going on. sometimes it's out of control but sometimes it's totally hot, or that's what my mom tells me.
just kidding.
that's so creepy.
what?
THE END
Thursday, September 3, 2009
this scares me
yeah...pretty much anything alien scares the pants off of me
and not in the good way*
when i watched this the first time i already knew what was going to happen because somebody told me like three days ago.
i had to squint my eyes and fast forward any parts where i saw anything scary the first time.
the second time i hit pause and then dragged the little circle thing across the bottom so i could watch everything with no sound at the speed i wanted to go.
the third time i pushed play and only paused it just before the alien jumped out at them.
and the fourth time i hit play and let it play but looked away at the scary part.
and now i'm probably going to have nightmares for months.
i went through a phase when i was a kid where i thought i had probably been abducted by aliens, and therefore it was logical that i'd be afraid of them because they would come back someday.
uuugh even typing that makes me feel creepy.
the movie signs is SO EFFING TERRIFYING
hahaha and i know it's lame when i'm letting my mind wander in the middle of the day and i suddenly flash back to the end of close encounters of the third kind where there's the silhouette of that alien with the super long arms and my heart stops from fear for a second...
aaagh
4:18 - 4:27 and 4:36-4:59 it's face!! NOOO
the end
*whatever that means
and not in the good way*
when i watched this the first time i already knew what was going to happen because somebody told me like three days ago.
i had to squint my eyes and fast forward any parts where i saw anything scary the first time.
the second time i hit pause and then dragged the little circle thing across the bottom so i could watch everything with no sound at the speed i wanted to go.
the third time i pushed play and only paused it just before the alien jumped out at them.
and the fourth time i hit play and let it play but looked away at the scary part.
and now i'm probably going to have nightmares for months.
i went through a phase when i was a kid where i thought i had probably been abducted by aliens, and therefore it was logical that i'd be afraid of them because they would come back someday.
uuugh even typing that makes me feel creepy.
the movie signs is SO EFFING TERRIFYING
hahaha and i know it's lame when i'm letting my mind wander in the middle of the day and i suddenly flash back to the end of close encounters of the third kind where there's the silhouette of that alien with the super long arms and my heart stops from fear for a second...
aaagh
4:18 - 4:27 and 4:36-4:59 it's face!! NOOO
the end
*whatever that means
Wednesday, September 2, 2009
friends! i have some!
after waiting for WEEKS (haha) my friends jen and cale finally showed up on our doorstep. they had driven like 8 hours, and then had to wait for 3 hours to get on the 2 hour long ferry ride.
it had been a long day.
ryan made them a cute little bed by shoving the couches together, and i bought some beer, and we visited for a while and went to bed.
the next morning we hung out for a bit and then took off downtown to go for breakfast at floyds. greasy and delicious as usual. also, we got a booth, which is a score!
we wandered around, doing the "what should we do?" thing for a bit. i showed them where i work, and then we decided to go to the bug zoo.
seriously, i recommend this place to anybody with any curiosity at all in their bodies who has eight bucks to spare.
dude, you get to HOLD the bugs!
unfortunately i don't have any photos of me holding bugs (yet) as jen took them all with her camera, but i held some kind of stick insect and a tarantula.
i'm not gonna lie to you, i was afraid of the tarantula because the zoo informational guide lady was like "here are the fangs, she's venemous. now hold it in your bare hand" pretty much.
i took like 3859485034850 photos. so many, in fact, that my camera battery died while i was still in there.
here are some things that surprised me:
-there is an insect more disgusting than a millipede. more disgusting than a cockroach. more disgusting than earwigs ...and...it is ... this thing
TA DAAAH!
seriously...look at it's face.
WTF!
i'm not usually a freak-out-about-bugs kinda girl but if i actually saw one of these things i think i would actually scream in fright.
it was ENORMOUS!
-scorpions glow under black lights.
-ants have graveyards/"garbage dumps" that can be anywhere up to 2km away from their nest. all you have to do to find it is walk in concentric circles away from the ant hill. haha
-this tiny glass case had 3 or 4 giant cockroaches in it...or so it seemed until the lady was like "there are around 300 in here" and that's when i realized just how creepy cockroaches are. she also told us something about the amount of radiation a cockroach can survive and how much a human can and ewwww it's like 20 times as much.
-also, cockroaches can be hilarious if you give them tables and chairs and toilets
here are a bunch more pictures i took:
then we did a lovely walk from downtown around to fisherman's wharf, where there are houseboats and usually hungry fat seals with one eye that you can feed, but alas, they weren't there.
we walked back and had a couple beers on a patio overlooking the ocean and then came back to the house. they set up a tent in the backyard and had a camp-out after we watched the last harry potter movie. oh, and of course we had more beers.
_______
the next day we took off to the sooke potholes.
the name isn't very glamorous but the place is really beautiful. it's like a bunch of swimming holes all connected by a river.
it was cloudy and cale didn't have a bathing suit, so we didn't go swimming, but we did walk around and look at stuff for an hour or so.
after that, we came back to the house and they packed up and left.
they were only here for a couple of days but i'd say they were quality visiting days.
thanks for visiting me, friends!! i missed you!!
it had been a long day.
ryan made them a cute little bed by shoving the couches together, and i bought some beer, and we visited for a while and went to bed.
the next morning we hung out for a bit and then took off downtown to go for breakfast at floyds. greasy and delicious as usual. also, we got a booth, which is a score!
we wandered around, doing the "what should we do?" thing for a bit. i showed them where i work, and then we decided to go to the bug zoo.
seriously, i recommend this place to anybody with any curiosity at all in their bodies who has eight bucks to spare.
dude, you get to HOLD the bugs!
unfortunately i don't have any photos of me holding bugs (yet) as jen took them all with her camera, but i held some kind of stick insect and a tarantula.
i'm not gonna lie to you, i was afraid of the tarantula because the zoo informational guide lady was like "here are the fangs, she's venemous. now hold it in your bare hand" pretty much.
i took like 3859485034850 photos. so many, in fact, that my camera battery died while i was still in there.
here are some things that surprised me:
-there is an insect more disgusting than a millipede. more disgusting than a cockroach. more disgusting than earwigs ...and...it is ... this thing
TA DAAAH!
seriously...look at it's face.
WTF!
i'm not usually a freak-out-about-bugs kinda girl but if i actually saw one of these things i think i would actually scream in fright.
it was ENORMOUS!
-scorpions glow under black lights.
-ants have graveyards/"garbage dumps" that can be anywhere up to 2km away from their nest. all you have to do to find it is walk in concentric circles away from the ant hill. haha
-this tiny glass case had 3 or 4 giant cockroaches in it...or so it seemed until the lady was like "there are around 300 in here" and that's when i realized just how creepy cockroaches are. she also told us something about the amount of radiation a cockroach can survive and how much a human can and ewwww it's like 20 times as much.
-also, cockroaches can be hilarious if you give them tables and chairs and toilets
here are a bunch more pictures i took:
then we did a lovely walk from downtown around to fisherman's wharf, where there are houseboats and usually hungry fat seals with one eye that you can feed, but alas, they weren't there.
we walked back and had a couple beers on a patio overlooking the ocean and then came back to the house. they set up a tent in the backyard and had a camp-out after we watched the last harry potter movie. oh, and of course we had more beers.
_______
the next day we took off to the sooke potholes.
the name isn't very glamorous but the place is really beautiful. it's like a bunch of swimming holes all connected by a river.
it was cloudy and cale didn't have a bathing suit, so we didn't go swimming, but we did walk around and look at stuff for an hour or so.
after that, we came back to the house and they packed up and left.
they were only here for a couple of days but i'd say they were quality visiting days.
thanks for visiting me, friends!! i missed you!!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
