Tuesday, July 6, 2010

deer family

Yesterday morning I burst out the front door as usual: fiddling with my iPod, tugging my shirt down, still trying to get my shoe all the way on my foot, holding out a hand to feel if it really was raining or just another grey grey day. I always do this. I leave leaving to the very last second. Especially when Ryan's actually around in the morning. Usually I have to leave before he wakes up, or he's just getting home and falling straight into bed from his graveyard shift at the residential group home for disabled adults, exhausted.

Yesterday he was up and we were having coffee together. Probably holding hands and gazing into each other's eyes. You know, regular boyfriend-girlfriend stuff.

So of course I was ... not late, exactly. Just...so close to being late that I had to speed-walk most of the way to the bus stop and hope I don't see it drive by when I'm like thirty steps away like it always seems to do.

I put my earbuds in my ears, and put the songs on shuffle. Please be something good, I thought. Sometimes I let the iPod give me the soundtrack to my day, I'm not allowed to change the song. It's a game where the music determines the mood of my day and creates my own personal music video.

Stevie Wonder. Yes!

Just then, I noticed a movement out of the corner of my eye. I thought it was probably just the super annoying kid from across the street who goes through our recycling box (?) and "Plays" with his dog right outside our bedroom window every time Ryan is trying to sleep. (By 'plays' I mean 'holds a stick in the air and yells get it. Get it. Get it. and the dog barks and barks.' It's super awesome.)

I turned and looked, with my best glaring face on.

No, not the neighbor kid. Instead it was...A DEER FAMILY!
I froze. And then said "HOLY SHIT" out loud. That's how surprised I was. And scared.

No, wait. Not...scared. I'm not scared of deer. That's ridiculous. In fact, when I worked on the bee-farm they made me carry a whip to hit the deer who were eating the strawberries with and yeah, I might have whipped a deer or two. And chased them with quads. Which they are not afraid of for some reason. I practically ran one over one time. It was just like "WTF?" and looked at me like I was the crazy one. Which I was.

Anyway...I was...surprised. And so I shouted swearwords of surprise. And they were also like "WTF?" and just kinda stared at me.

And then I did the most rational thing ever. I took pictures of them while simultaneously phoning Ryan to tell him about the deer and how I was scare...no, SURPRISED by them.

In the meantime they moved on, because apparently deer are too cool to hang out with someone as cool and calm as I was.

Ryan was largely unimpressed with my phone call. He was laughing, and I'm pretty sure it was at me, not with me.

After the deer turned the corner back towards the woods behind our house, I kept walking. Stevie was over and it was Radiohead. The day turned greyer and the mood was melancholy beautiful. I mean, yeah...I saw deer after hands holding and coffee. And I was wearing the radical new hoodie Ryan bought for himself but then realized it was a woman's hoodie after he got it home and it just happened to fit me. And it's grey which is my favorite color to wear.
So yeah, it was a pretty alright kinda morning.

About half-way to the bus stop, my bag started vibrating. (That's what he said) The call display said 'call if found' which is code for 'my house', you know, in case I lose my telephone, right? SMRT.

I thought it was gonna be Ryan, but when I answered I got a... SURPRISE.

Me: Hello? (smiling)

Caller: (weird voice, kind of like bullwinkle the moose) Hello, is this Nova?

Me: (laugh) Yes.

Caller: Hello Nova, my name is mister deer.

Me: (double laugh) How'd you get this number?

Caller: I just phoned to tell you not to be scared of me and my family!

Me: (laugh more) Oh! Thanks for calling.

Caller: You're welcome! I have to go now, but remember, don't be scared of me and my family!

Me: Okay! Thanks!

Caller: Bye. Don't be scared of us!

Me: I won't! Bye!

And I couldn't stop laughing to myself like a crazy person all the way to the bus stop. Hope nobody saw me!


  1. Ohhh, that man loves you!

    Uh, I mean, what a nice polite deer to reassure you!

    This is one of my favorite posts ever, partly because I love deer but also because of the way I could imagine everything how it happened! The WTF faces on the deer, everything. Perfect!

  2. Haha thanks. I spent, like, time and stuff on it. Like ten minutes. Wheee!

    That deer was really polite. And thoughtful.


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