Please take note:

I've found a few pictures of my tattoos that were taken either from my post about who I get tattooed by or my interview with Danielle from Sometimes Sweet on Pinterest recently.

I know that you guys mean well by sharing pretty pictures, but please please ask me before you use my photos. And don't put them on sites like that, (weheartit, tumblr, etc.) they'll just get stolen and someone else will take credit. Read this thing Valarie Vargas posted from the Smith Street Blog about tattoo photos on the internet. JUST READ IT. I can think of a few specific sites that do this all the time.

I know that I have a tumblr account of my own, and I upload pictures to it every once in a while, but it's my choice as to where my photos go. I keep the best stuff here or not on the internet at all.

Anyway I don't want to rant, but please please ...

What does a sneeze smell like?

When I sneeze it smells like honey. 
What's up with that?

At first I thought it was the face masks I wear at work when I'm sterilizing the equipment. Like, maybe the masks are scented, but only when wet as some kind of safety thing, you know, so when your mask gets fluid on it that could possibly be contaminated? Makes sense, right?

But then we did experiments at work...somebody (I can't remember who it was!) helped me do all kinds of tests: spitting and pouring water on the masks. Nothing...except for the next time I'd sneeze into one. (I know it's weird, but after four years I'm bound to sneeze while wearing a mask more than once.)

What brought this up? Well I just sneezed...and there was a definite honey smell. Again. What is going on? Is it possible that there are tiny bees living in the back of my throat, making honey? Nose bees?

...

Well guess what guys, it's an actual thing. I just Googled it. Yeah, I did my research halfway through writing a post....ANYWAY it's actually called "honey sneeze". Shocker. It normally smells like honey, beeswax, pollen, baby powder, hay, or just "sweet". There are plenty of theories on why it happens...and it seems like it is actually pretty common. (And I thought I was crazy special.)

Here are some of the theories on why some people's sneezes smell like honey:
*note* Some of these don't make any sense. Also? I found these on the internet so take it all with a grain of salt.

-Sinus infection.
-Bacterias in your head tubes that smell...like honey.
-Bad breath/hallitosis.
-Mucus with similar chemical makeup to sugar.
-The atmosphere changes chemical makeup when you sneeze.
-Medicine you're taking.
-The sneeze clears out your nose and you can really get a good whiff of what your body smells like.
-Diabetes.
-It's your body's reward to you for letting a sneeze out, because if you hold them in you could cause an aneurysm.
-A ton of scary medical anomalies that don't even make sense but that's what happens when you look up any symptom or change in your body...suddenly you have cancer, AIDS and leprosy.
-It just does and nobody knows why.

...

I kind of like it. And now that I know that it's a thing, and not just my imagination, I can just sit back and enjoy the smell, post-sneeze. Although ever since that summer I worked on a honeybee farm, doing bee stuff and honey extraction, I actually really don't really care for the smell of honey...yuck.

The good news is that I have the best of the "scented sneeze" world. Apparently there are tons of people out there with bad smelling sneezes. And other people can smell them! (Get up close to me next time I sneeze, it's true!)

There are actually people out there who sneeze out the smell of:

-spiders
-musk
-dirt
-copper
-urine (!)
-bad breath
-old cheese
-a "rape field" (This is canola btw.)
-raked up leaves
-rotten teeth
-dead animals
-mold

Have any of you experienced this strange phenomenon? What do your sneezes smell like?

Things I Love Thursday

This week I love...

This list of 100 ways to live a better life. There's something for all of us to learn in this list.

This Venn diagram of coffee ingredients. Can it get any simpler than this?

Grammar.

Dapper Day at Disneyland. I have just found out this exists. And would love to attend. Very fancy.

Kaelah's tips for dying hair bright colors. She knows what she's talking about! Part One: bleach. Part Two: dye. Part Three: miscellaneous.

This photo series. A Mother's Journey. It is heartbreaking. Warning, especially to parents. So. Sad. But so beautiful and worth looking at.

These book-review bookmarks! I would love to fill a bunch out about books I've read and stick them in books at the bookstore.

Gala's piece on NOT being a mother. Yes. YES!!! She hit the nail on the head.  I kind of fell into a part-time step-mom-ish role, and it's great, but I certainly never EVER want to have a baby "of my own". Ever.

I love to hate this photo. Because this is basically what our back yard looks like in the summer.

---

These paintings by Gregory Jacobsen. They are rather disturbing, but so imaginative...and kind of reminds me of the Garbage Pail Kids. *Warning* If you go to his site and check out the paintings, be ready to see a lot of vaginas everywhere, I don't think it's SFW.

I found him via Sweet Station.

---

I wish I knew where to buy these 'girl heads' today! I'd pay more than $2.98 even.

I find myself nodding along with most of these "things we all do". 

Librarian humor. Right? You know?

Like the sound of rain? Click here.

These "classic good girl and romance" comic book covers.

The anti-joke website. I found this via the Bloggess. Of course you already know that because you all read her, don't you? Admit it! You know what else I found via her? The following video. The funniest video I've seen in so long. (NSFW, NSFkids either)

These photos of a "time capsule mansion" in France that had been sealed for over 100 years and recently opened. There was some cool-ass stuff. I love the crazy wallpaper!

These 18 old timey photos you won't believe aren't photoshopped on Cracked.com. The bear chair! WTF!

Have you ever seen Lodekka? It's a vintage dress shop in Portland that's located in a double decker bus! Check out some pictures on Hula Seventy, one of my favorite blogs for pretty photos. 

Uhhh...this is a children's site but it's basically madlibs. So I like it. 

I love what Tenille said in her Tattoo Tuesday interview on Sometimes Sweet (another one of my all-time favorite blogs) this week:

"For me, the reason I got my first tattoo is very different to the reason I keep going back and getting
more. These reasons are highly subjective and personal for me and your reason for getting tattooed
should be as well. Even though Miami Ink would have us think otherwise, it really doesn’t matter
WHY you get tattooed. You shouldn’t feel like you need to justify your choices to anyone but
yourself. Every tattoo doesn’t need a story to be important.

On the other hand, you should definitely think hard about what you want to put on your skin and
why. But, don’t think for too long. It’s just skin. As soon as you take the plunge, you’ll realise it’s
not really as big of a deal as you first thought. Yes, it’s going to be on you forever but no one really
knows how long that is. Saying that though, make sure whatever artwork you choose to put on your
skin is meaningful and truthful to YOU, no one else. Then go for it! "

---

And last but not least, this image by Viktor Koen, found via The Fox is Black.

Bite sized!

Lucky me! Zoe included my stupid answers in her bite-sized interviews on her blog Pretty Zoo. 

Check out what she asked me and two other cool cats about pet peeves, imaginary friends and more!I love how the other two ladies are all positive and awesome and I'm just all bitter about people on the bus. *sigh* Typical.

---

In other news, this morning Ryan decided to try his best to get tickets to the Canucks hockey game that's on tomorrow in Vancouver. Tickets went on sale at 12:00, so at 11: 55 we dialed the 800 number to the ticket place, got the website all teed up, and redialed and refreshed the hell out of both of them. 

I was on the phone, hitting redial, getting busy signals, hanging up and repeating. Over and over and over. Anyway, after ten long stressful minutes he got three tickets via the website! For tomorrow! In Vancouver! 

 Image via the Canucks fan club.

I'm not much of a hockey fan, especially not for uh...three hundred dollar per seat tickets hockey like Ryan and his kids are, so I'm staying home with the dog and the cat. 

As soon as he got the tickets, he called his kids' mom, and got permission to take them (and surprisingly she didn't ask any questions, just said "of course!"). Then he called the kids' school, told the office it was an emergency and he had to talk to them immediately (haha) and gave them each the news. And he just left to go pick them up from the island they live on. It was really a tense then exciting as hell afternoon! I'm so jealous of them, I wish I had an impromptu exciting event to run off to in another city. 

Instead I just have my tax appointment this evening. Damnit.

Stop blogger hate!

Great advice from My Girl Thursday on blog envy:

I suppose it could have been worse...right?

I don't get doing taxes. I don't understand the math, I never know what they need to know or what the hell is going on at H&R block once I get there. The questions they ask me seem to make sense but as soon as I leave it all flies out my ears. When it comes to all those t4s and what's important in all my scraps of paper, I am lost. And this is on the best of days.

Doing taxes is so stressful for me, and this year I managed to put it off until the very last minute. I believe April 30th is the deadline and today on the 26th, I finally gathered up the courage to just get it over with.

I got a ride to the nearest tax place from Ryan who was on his way to work. He dropped me off on the corner with my bag of 'tax stuff' and I was on my own.

Don't get me wrong, everybody at H&R block is always very friendly and very helpful but today they were asking me all kinds of things I didn't know the answer to that I should have known. I literally didn't know if I worked "for myself" or not; one of the first questions they ask you to determine which agent you have to talk to. What kind of idiot doesn't know if she worked for herself or not, you ask? Well, the kind who did piecework transcription for a post-doctorate student at UVic for a year...I thought it was kind of sub-contractor work, but then my paychecks came from the university...so it's confusing, right?

Right off the bat, though, I looked like a retard. And felt stressed out and embarrassed.

Then out of one of the little cubicles came a husband and wife duo. The husband was one of those "I'm the funniest guy at my office" kind of guys. Loud talking, but sort of well-meaning. He might have been a car salesman or an insurance agent. Obviously this guy had no social etiquette whatsoever, because the first thing he did was start asking me about my chest tattoo while I was sitting in the waiting room clutching my bag, cheeks still burning from the "do you work for yourself" conversation.

I mean...it was out of control inappropriate. And imagine all his lines spoken in a condescending talking-to-your-teenage-daughter's-friends tone, to add insult to my annoyance.

Him: Whoa, look at you! Where do you get your ink done?
Me: (wince) Mostly Tattoo Zoo.
Him: Tattoo...ZOO? What's that?
Me: It's on Wharf street...
Him: Ah yeah, I know the place.
Me: Hm. (looks away, hoping to dissuade more conversation)
Him: What's that on your chest there? A butterfly?
Me: It's a bee.
Him: Why did you get a bee on your chest?
Me: (shrugs, looks away with kind of a mad face)
Him: Oh yeah, you don't know, huh? (laughs) So are you gonna get it all colored in then? Like a bright pretty little yellow bumble bee?
Me: It's a honeybee.
Him: (super condescendingly, like it doesn't matter) Oh! It's a honeybee.

(Meanwhile, his wife is taking care of all the paperwork and business.)

Him: (looks me up and down...btw I'm pretty covered up, but my v-neck sweater and my mid-calf-length tights show the tattoos there) You got 'em all over ya!
Me: Yep.
Him: How does that happen? Do you just go there and say "Stick em on me!"?
Me: Well I work in a tattoo shop so...
Him: (laughs) That makes sense then. This might be out of the blue but do you get those guys to give them to you for free?
Me: (doesn't answer)
Him: And what does this one say? It looks like it's in Russian.
Me: It is. It says "bibliophile."
Him: What?
Me: Bibliophile.
Him: What?
Me: BIBLI...(sigh) book lover.
Him: It says that in Russian?
Me: Yes.
Him: So why'd you get that?
Me: Uh...
Him: I mean, it's kind of weird, you having Russian on your leg and all...
Me: Yeah well we had a guest artist where I work from Germany and it became a big inside joke and...then I got it tattooed on me. I guess...?
Him: That's good that it has a story, they all should have stories. And mean something to you.
Me: (silence)
Him: I see you have one on your foot there! What is that? A clown?
Me: (fake laugh) (I'm trying to be nice here but he's REALLY trying my patience at this point.) It's a party panther.
Him: A what?
Me: (I moved my shoe and showed him.) Party panther.


And then I felt a panic attack coming on. The place turned grey and I got tunnel vision.


Me: (Kind of rambling, trying to distract myself) And I have a party wolf on the other side. (I struggle hard to get my feet to move correctly, they're kind of numb and there's a disconnect between my foggy brain and the grey world where my feet are.)
Me: (I finally get my shoe off after three tries.) See?

And I don't really remember the rest of our conversation, and then they left. A young man, I'm certain younger than me then came out of an office and said he could do my tax stuff and we figured out that I did not work for myself, because my paycheck came from somewhere else.

I went into his office, shoved a pile of stuff onto his desk and hoped he'd just take what he needed and give the rest back to me like the lady did last year. Instead, he looked at each thing, asking me what it was, why did I bring it, etc. Stuff like the forms that told how much interest I didn't pay on my student loans and...I don't know, I just brought anything that looked tax-y. Then it came up that I graduated school in April.

Him: Was that April 2010?
Me: Um...
Him: Was it just last year that you graduated?
Me: Uh...I think...so...?
Him: Two thousand and ten?
Me: ...yes? Was it...yeah. Um...I think it was.

What the hell you guys? I couldn't remember when I graduated. Last year. I was in a crazy fuzzy headspace...so confused. Anyway I had forgotten to print off my tuition tax info and bring it in with the rest of my stuff because I was done with school FOREVER and never thought I'd have to think about it again.

Him: So you don't have it?
Me: Uh...nope.
Him: Well, can you just log on to the university website and print it out?
Me: Um...maybe.
Him: ...?
Me: I mean, I think I have the password written down...I don't really remember how to log in...
Him: ...?
Me: Uh...yeah I'll just...(I fumble in my bag for like a minute, pull out my dayplanner, and see that all I have written down from UVic is my student number.) yeah...maybe I can...I'll try.
Him: Okay well I'll just go to the other room and get more staples and you can use my computer to do that.
Me: Okay.

Ten minutes later...

Him: (Leaning on the door frame, looks up from iPhone) So...how's it coming there?
Me: (SO FRUSTRATED) I can't log in.
Him: Why don't you call them? Here's my phone.
Me: (In total panic-attack mode again) I can't. The website says it'll take too long to phone and they want you to e-mail them your questions and that's going to take too long. I'm wasting your time. I'll come back later. I have to go home. I'll just go home.
Him: Um...
Me: I can't do this right now. Can I just go? I'll just go home and come back later?
Him: Do you...want ... to ... make an appointment for tomorrow maybe?
Me: OKAY.
Him: I can see you tomorrow evening.
Me: Yeah sounds good see you tomorrow okay bye (I clumsily get up and walk straight out the door, not even checking if I was supposed to pay anything for that waste of his time...guess I'll find out tomorrow.)

I walked to the intersection, toward the bus stop...where my bus was just pulling away. So I walked all the way home. It took about an hour. And half way there I noticed something strange. I was talking to myself while I was walking.

Me: Fuck fuck fuck. It's okay. It's okay.(I realize I'm talking to myself out loud, feel like crying. Stop talking.)

But I eventually got home and figured it all out. Writing it all out made me feel better and gave you a little glimpse into my crazy. Tomorrow should be better. I'm prepared now. And I'm making Ryan come with me because there is no way I'm answering any question with "I don't know." tomorrow.

To hell with this day.

It's time for...FISHEYE PHOTOS!

Presenting: my sister! v.4

You can see part one here, part two here and part three here.

This girl? Talented. She takes some of the best photos. Also? She's related to me and has the awesome gene. Here are some of her photos I stole from her facebook. With her permission. So...not really stole at all.  I also have been asking her some random interview questions throughout this series. We're on...question seven now.

7. Tell us about your dogs. They're cute. Haha, they are cute aren't they? Well having no kids (nor the desire to for a while) they're my babies, Lily is 2 and Bella is 1 and they are both German Shepherd Husky mix. Lily is very smart and very clean but barks waaaay too much, Bella is kind of dopey and mischevious but I love her for it! They both follow me everywhere and know when I'm happy or sad and need a good dog hug, haha. Also they have got to be the best thing to come home to when noones around, so happy to see me everytime.

8. Tell us a joke. so a dyslexic guy walks into a rab.......

9. What is small town Alberta like? Kind of already explained it but as it grows, I keep meeting new people and am starting to like it even more. Definitely like to leave once in a while for a weekend or a week but I still can't complain about it. One of the worst things would have to be that everyone either knows you or thinks they know you and the drama is just what some people do for fun. You can find that everywhere though. Its the people you choose to surround yourself with and the way you handle yourself, I have no drama with anyone and it's because I genuinely don't like it and I don't allow people to bring it into my life. Another favorite quote... "if you didnt see it with your own eyes or hear it with your own ears, dont invent it with your small mind and share it with your big mouth."

10. What's your favorite time of day to take pictures? I love sunsets, they are so beautiful and peaceful.

11. You seem to take a lot of outdoor scenery photos, do you have any tips you'd like to share? Yes thats my thing. I'm starting to like taking pictures of people more now but scenery is my favorite. I love travelling for that reason too because Alberta is beautiful but there are so many amazing places I can't wait to explore. As for tips, sometimes you have to just sit and wait for that perfect shot, for example storm photos, you need to wait until the clouds are just right or in order to catch a lightning bolt, I have so much patience because I love getting that perfect shot.

12. What do you do in your spare time? Like I said, like to bowl, play pool, drink, take my dogs for walks, go on adventures for nice pictures, travel when the $ is available, also spend a lot of time with my family that's close (miss my sister though!). (Editor's note: AWW miss you too!)

I'm opening the floor for questions for Lyndon again. Anything you want to ask?

A message to you omnivores this Easter...

Peeps. I tried my first one last week, and only because somebody bought them for all of us at work and nobody was eating them. I felt bad. After one bite I realized why nobody was eating them. Those things are disgusting. They're like those horrible marshmallow strawberries from my childhood that always somehow ended up being in the grab-bags of candy I got from "the store".

Anyway, seeing as it's Easter Sunday (capitalization means it's a Big Holiday), I have something I need to get off my chest. It's about eating with omnivores, as a vegetarian.

My family eats meat. Most of my friends eat meat. I don't care. I made a choice not to eat dead bodies and that's that. I'm not better or worse than you for it. You're not better or worse than me either. I just have a message to the omnivores out there who have one vegetarian at their table...

DO NOT EAT ALL THE VEGETARIAN FOOD!

This is very common. A family plans a turkey dinner, with bacon in the potatoes, stuffing full of who knows what, cubed ham in the peas, beef gravy and ... oh yeah, there's a salad for the one vegetarian. I guess we can leave the chicken out of it like gracious hosts.

No problem. The vegetarian brought their own thing from home. Maybe it's a tofurky, maybe it's a special lasagna or spaghetti (?) or something...they just want to be included, to hang out with you, to be able to eat something nutritious and healthy, NOT JUST SALAD. They're covered, don't even worry about it.

Until...

Uncle: "Hey, is that tofurky any good? Mind if I try a bite?"
Vegetarian: "Uh, I guess not, go ahead."
Little cousin: "Can I try some?"
Vegetarian: "I guess..."
Uncle: "Ugh disgusting, how can you eat this stuff?" (Throws an entire slice in the garbage disposal.)
Little cousin: (spits it back out onto his plate) "Eww, it's like poison!"
Everyone else at table: (laughs)
Vegetarian: (sighs and goes back to the half-meal that's left over).

You guys, that is so rude. Everybody wants to know if the tofu hot dog tastes like a "real" hot dog. It has the same spices but is made from tofu. So it's different. You don't need to prove to all the other meat eaters that the tofu hot dog is inferior okay? It wastes food, and hurts feelings.

Ryan seems to encounter this situation a lot at work functions. There's him and one or two other vegetarians. Not even "difficult-to-feed" vegans. It's not hard to feed a vegetarian, trust me. But every single time he goes to a meeting, they order pizza. One pepperoni. One meat lovers. And one veggie. And guess what everybody eats first? The veggie one. And then him and the other two are left fighting over scraps while everyone else is "too stuffed" to even touch that last pizza.

I'm just saying, try to be sensitive to other people's dietary concerns. It's no secret that those three are vegetarian at the meetings, the others just don't even think about it.

So, in conclusion, if your family is having a big nice Easter dinner and you have vegans or vegetarians around, please don't eat all their food! And maybe try to keep the side dishes beef-stock and meat-free. Don't pour butter all over the veggies if there's a vegan.

Thank you.

Oh, and also? Peeps are gross.