text conversation from last week. with explanations!

this is a text conversation my sister and i had this a week or so ago.


me: i just remembered when you bought tampons in tepoztlan. the present!

explanation: okay so this one time my sister and i went to tepoztlan, mexico for just over a month. we stayed with a family we sort of knew. and we had like 20934802984 adventures. (note: this was before i started really learning any spanish, and might have been the inspiration for learning more...)

one of our adventures involved her trying to buy tampons.

basically we had to find a store that sold tampons which took us hours, and then using our very limited communicative abilities we had to ask for tampons...try miming that to somebody, hahaha

and then, if that wasn't hilarious enough, it was a man working at the farmacia, and he was super embarrassed by the whole thing. and then he took some wrapping paper, like for a christmas present, and wrapped the box of tampons up like a present. we almost died of laughing when we got back to the house and saw it.


sister: hahaha i forgot about that, haha. i think next time you're home we should go through some of my pics.

explanation: duh, she wants to look at pictures next time i'm near her

me:remember taking the pics of whathername's bra and making signs that said seduction? and then losing the film?

explanation: all that thinking about pictures from that trip reminded me of this one night, when my sister and i had gone on a road trip to puebla to stay with another friend of ours in mexico, and she took us out to a few bars and got us totally wasted. my sister, who was only like 14 or 15 then was totally drinking in the bars and making out with dudes.* we were actually rockstars in that particular bar...literally the only white chicks. and both of us were platinum blonde at the time

a funny note from that, which has nothing to do with the text convo is that while she was making out with this super handsy mexican boy, another boy was trying to hit on me, and was trying out his english and after noticing me staring at my sister/random mexidude playing tonsil hockey he said

"that guy is such a pulp"

i was like "what the hell are you talking about?"

then he said it in spanish. "pulpo"...octopus HAHAHA.


anyway later that evening we got back to the room we were sleeping in, and there were bras hanging everywhere. this was in a time before digital cameras and we were totally wasted and silly. i mean... my family gets FREAKING SILLY when we're together and add alcohol into the mix...it's a sight to behold.

so yeah, bras hanging everywhere...we were like "are they trying to seduce us?"

and it became a big joke. and we made paper signs that said "seduction?" and we took pictures of us with the bras and signs in various positions ... and with various hairstyles if i remember correctly

it was all fun and games and totally harmless until we got home and developed our film and realized that the girl we were staying with (who is also a photographer by trade) had kept all her film in that room and somehow we mixed up our roll of film with one of hers.

hey, at least we ended up with some sweet pictures of cows...



sister:haha and her mom the creepy massage lady who said white ppl like coffee or something? i hope they found that film! hahahaha

explanation: the mom of that house was a masseuse who was kind of racist. she kept asking us if we wanted a massage, like all the time. and we always said no because...fuck off creepy lady! but she never stopped trying.

but on the positive side they had a bowl of avocados on the kitchen table which they put on everything. even toast in the morning which was like heaven on toast, i tell ya.

me: and she kept asking us the lyrics to beatles songs, like "what means coocoo kachoo?"

explanation: well, it's pretty self explanatory. the mom was trying to learn english and really liked the beatles but she couldn't understand some of the words.

no matter how many times we told her they weren't really words she didn't get it.


sister: ya probably. remember the caves and we tried so hard to get pictures but none turned out? and they were so awesome

explanation: the caves are called "las grutas de cachuamilpa"(caution - terrible sound effects on this website) and were effing amazing. i mean...you go in and walk for miles underground in gigantic caverns.

we only had crappy cameras with us and tried so hard to take pictures.

the awesome thing is when we got then developed most of them did show...something. green somethings. not cave innards. more like...well when i first saw them i said they looked straight off a Tool album cover. somehow the lack of light produced the coolest patterns of green...it's hard to explain. accidental awesomeness.

me: and we went to that hot springs place and all the ladies went into a room with a bathtub thing in it

explanation: okay this one is weird. it was like a million degrees out one day and the massage lady and her family, plus her daughter's friend (who was in her early 20s) told us we were going to a water park.

hell yeah! we thought.

they were like "there's swimming pools and waterslides..."

"sold!" we said

so we drove and drove and drove to this national park

of hot springs

it was over 40 degrees celcius which is like 100 fahrenheit or so i think, and we went to the fucking hot springs!

and they were hot!

but they didn't lie to us. there were water slides and swimming pools. the only thing was they were hotter than the +40 air and sun!!!

what the hell

also, all the ladies we went with were like "okay this is our room" and went into this door in what looked like maybe a change room or showers or something. except the door locked.

my sister and i were invited but we were like "no, we wore our bathing suits under our clothes, we don't need a change room"

"okay, just knock if you want to find us"

after like an hour, or so of exploring we were bored and decided to see what the family was doing in the room with the locked door

we knocked

they let us in

and they were all naked in a giant bath tub together.

ummm

uhhh

my 20 year old self couldn't handle it. i played it cool but there was no way in hell i was getting naked with those ladies in a hot tub.

i guess the hot springs are good for your skin?

anyway it was really awkward.


sister: hahaha yeah it was so hot out too

explanation: none needed. it was.

me: those caves were awesome.

explanation: none needed. they were. really. if you get a chance, go see them.


*note -if you are related to us or know this sister in real life then it isn't true. don't tell her i told you!!!!!!