Film Photos of Die Antwoord from their Vancouver 2012 show at the Commodore Ballroom.

Just a disclaimer here, I know they're all horribly blurry and underexposed. And I cut off Ninja and Yo-Landi's heads in like half of them. Let me explain: I only brought a flashless light plastic toy camera to the show, and used 400 speed film...and I was in what was I guess a mosh pit. I didn't know rap/rave shows had mosh pits until it was too late. Anyway they're kind of interesting and I thought I'd share them today because it's a leap-year and it's like an extra-long February and for some reason that makes sense to me. And it's fun to share everything sometimes, even if they suck. I started far away and then was like "nope, I have to get closer".

Here's a little YouTube video, at around two minutes especially, you can see the crowd I was in trying to take these pictures. I think that explains it all. The video is worth it to watch Ninja dance. He's awesome. Also, for the gentlemen (and select ladies) out there, Yo-Landi is wearing a cut off shirt and you can see underboob. You can't really see them until around one minute in.

But seriously guys, I tell you, even if you think their music is weird or silly you should REALLY see them live. They are such great performers.

Lomo Action Sampler photos of Tank the dog.

After the Rob Zombie and Slayer pictures, there were still a few photos left on the roll, and you know, you can never have enough photos of a handsome bulldog, right?

That last one's an action shot. 

How could anybody ever say bulldogs are ugly? hahaha Okay yeah I know how. But still, lookatthatfaaace! Awww. I wuv my doggie.

Lomo Action Sampler diptych: waving shadow and the prettiest broom

That last photo proves that sometimes you just have to go with your gut. I took pictures of rockstars and bulldogs on this roll of film, and then I saw the broom and thought "That'll be nice." I actually sat there debating on whether or not I should take a picture of a broom, wondering if it was "too stupid" a subject matter. Well, no. It's not stupid. It's beautiful. Follow your instincts, kids.

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Hey, also, my friend Roberto just started a blog. Roberto is my number one favorite German ever; he's the guy who tattooed a big ol' bookworm on me a few years ago and last year a big bird and flowers thigh piece that says "Sei Freundlich" in a banner. He's funny and awesome. Here's what he says about visiting Victoria.

GHOST CAMERA! DEVELOPED!

The other day I brought a bunch of film in to get prints made...including the ghost camera!

Images from here and here. 

Yeah, that's right. It puts ghosts into your photos. 

I didn't know what to expect, so I forced myself to expect

the worst. You know, like, little crappy light orbs that people

say are 'spirits' in their photos when it's obviously

a raindrop or something on the lens. 

Actually, it put scary cool ghosts and ... jack'o'lanterns and skeletons in my pictures.

Most of them didn't turn out very well, as with these kinds of things 

there's always a learning curve, but a few turned out hilarious and amazing. 

Here are a few of the best ones!

There's one other picture that is totally funny and great, but I'm 

not going to put it up here because it's going to be a gift. 

I have another one of these cameras ready to go. 

Now that I know how they work, I can't wait to try it again!

Round Two! 

*ding ding*

My grandma...redemption.

You know how a grandma of mine sent me a (2 years early) thirtieth birthday present a week ago and I was all sad? Well look what else she sent me!

OH. EHM. GEE. 

My brother's in town for a couple weeks so my posting might end up being either really short like today's or we might be super bored because we're both totally poor and simultaneously be on our laptops in the same room sitting right beside each other, which is what's going on right now. In which case, yeah, better blog posts.

We're on our way to the grocery store to get some sugar for his coffee, mix for booze later, snacks and uh...whatever else I impulse buy.

Anyway I took more pictures of everything that came with the thing and I'll probably post those later. If not, just know that there's too many lenses for me to comprehend, and a bunch of things that I don't know how to use. Yay!

Trials and Tribulations of using the Smena

I was so excited to take photos with that Smena 8m camera I bought on eBay a few months ago. I bought a bunch of film, loaded it up and took 27 photos in a day and a half. I got creative. I double exposed some stuff, tried different lighting, different fields of depth...I used all the settings and dials and whatsits.

As I was waiting for the bus on my way to work I took the last picture. Which was perfect because I pass the photofinishing place downtown when I get off the bus. All I had to do was wind the film inside the camera, put it in its little plastic cylinder and give it to the person at the desk. The prints are pre-paid with this film, so everything after taking the photos was supposed to be easy and satisfying.

Well.

I started turning the little dial to wind the film.

I turned it, turned it, turned it.

Wind wind wind wind wind wind wind.

It didn't feel like anything was going on in there. But what do I know? Nothing about 1970s cameras from Soviet Russia, that's what. I thought that since I couldn't feel the winding actually happening, I would just over-wind the hell out of it to be sure that it's completely wound. That way nothing could possibly go wrong! Right?

Then I opened the camera.

The film was not wound.

I repeat, I opened the camera and the film was not wound.

I RUINED IT.

I slammed it shut and was all bummed out about it for the rest of the day at work, so I talked to the boss about it, who has a little more experience with film cameras than I do and always has to listen to my problems because I talk to him about them while he's tattooing and can't go anywhere for hours. He said that if I go into a darkroom I could manually wind the film up.

I went into the (windowless) bathroom, shut the door almost all the way, took the film out again and...
the entire roll of film came right out of the plastic casing! NOOO!

So, friends, that's where I gave up on the smena for now. I shoved all the stupid ruined exposed film back into the camera, slammed the back of the stupid thing shut and put it in my backpack. It's been there for two days.

Good thing stuff's going better with all my toy cameras because if it all went like that I'd just give up and go directly back to digital.

-----------------------------

Speaking of toy cameras, I found some really cool ones that look like little juice boxes so you can sneak them into kindergarten classrooms or diners or the back of minivans or whatever.

I really like the apple one.

See them all here.

netflix me

Okay, before I get started I realize I'm super duper late to the netflix party. Gimme a break, it's semi-new in Canada and I'm lazy about things. But tonight I decided to start a free trial to see if I like it.

Well of course I like it.

I've been browsing for approximately ten minutes and have already found this movie:

While on their way home for Thanksgiving break, five college kids run afoul of a homicidal turkey that wants them dead. As the cursed bird hunts them down one by one, the survivors scramble to find a way to defeat the possessed creature. Will the bloodthirsty turkey make this their last Thanksgiving feast ever?

Actually, I just looked up the trailer on youtube (click these words to watch it...warning, strong language, including "Gobble gobble, mother fucker.") and it looks pretty retarded so forget that. But I did just watch half an episode of the Rocky and Bullwinkle show while Ryan was in the shower. I used to watch that show all the time as a kid.

Like I needed any other excuse to stare at the computer all day long, right?

Yarr, there be somethin' goin' on with me brain todarrr

Scene: In the bedroom, I'm on the computer trying to find rhinestone covered single use cameras that will deliver to Canada. Ryan's sitting on the bed.

Me: Oh man, these cameras are so awesome. My luxurious day off is almost complete. (Looks into almost empty coffee cup pointedly.)

Ryan: I'll get you more coffee once mine is finished.

Me: Okay.

---ten minutes later---

Scene: Same exact place, same actions.

Me: Um, are you gonna get me a coffee or what?

Ryan: Are you kidding?

Me: What?

Ryan: I just got you more and you drank it all.

Me: No you didn't. See? (Shows him the empty mug.)

Ryan: Yeah I did.

Me: No. Definitely not.

Ryan: You seriously don't remember me leaving the room and coming back with more coffee? And then you said thank you and I talked about the breakfast I'm halfway through making because I was in the kitchen? And you said you didn't want any?\

Me: (laughing) No! You didn't do that!

Ryan: YES I DID!

Me: You're lying.



Um...he wasnt' lying. WTF?

Then he left me alone in the house with EBay all open and guess what happened.

This:

(click here to see it)

It's just a regular disposable camera with something a little camp about it. Anyway then the frenzy began. I'm such a fucking internet shopper-shark. My eyes roll back in my head and before you know it I've bought 6 cameras.

And it's all Ryan's fault.

YOU HEAR THAT RYAN? IT'S YOUR FAULT. SOMEHOW!

Anyway here's the rest:

1. It looks like a robot and takes three consecutive photos...

2. Um, kind of like the robot one only it takes four photos. They were sold together.


3. Smena...Russian camera from the Soviet Union era in the 70s. Rad, no?


4. These are disposables that apparently add ghosts to your pictures. I got two because um, yeah. How could I not?

So um...this is what I do when I start catching up on my bills? I guess? SPEND LIKE CRAZY. WOO, I'M A CONSUMER! AND A GIRL! OMG

I half feel like an idiot for buying stuff totally spur-of-the moment, you know? But then I'm like "Woah" and "YES" because those are excellent fun purchases. At least I'm not spending it on drugs? haha

Still...if any of you Americans find bedazzled frickin' single-use cameras that you can send me, I'll be eternally grateful. It just seems like something I really should have.

STAR WARS and other projects

(star wars cookbook Ryan found at the library)

I have not seen Star Wars.

And I'm finally at the point in my life where enough is enough and I should really just watch it. From the Family Guy movies to Spaceballs to ... um ... every single pop-culture medium ever ... I'm pretty sure I have seen enough references to the movie to know the plot.

I think I might watch them someday and kind of write out my reactions, because the movie isn't a surprise to anybody in the world except for me these days and it might be funny to read.

Right now that seems a little ambitious but that's what summer time is for. In fact, I'm planning a project for once school is over so my brain doesn't whither away: there's a teeny little video rental place near(ish) my house and they have a section of Foreign Films and Documentaries. I was looking at them and thought how cool it would be to watch them all. So I think I might. And kind of do a review for each one.

Fun, no?

I also had this idea that I should watch every 'cult classic', and every movie that everybody but me has seen and write about them as well.
For example, Teen Wolf. I just saw that movie like three weeks ago for the first time. I could revisit Porkys and Revenge of the Nerds and look at them from a 21st century perspective.

Maybe.

We'll see how the summer goes. I might be much too busy enjoying myself and not having midterms all the time.

my life these days...kinda boring

Oh, it's been forever since I've written anything in this blog, hasn't it?
Let me get you all up to speed then.

Uh...I've been in full time classes for almost a month already, and have completed four assignments, two exams, and written four papers. All in Spanish. I've also read short stories, plays, and historical documents. I've watched three Mexican films from the 1950s and earlier and sat through hours and hours of power point presentations and discussions on literature. I've tried to participate in discussions even though the readings and discussion questions are sometimes over my head.
Reading in a language you are just learning is tough. I'm so used to skimming and understanding. I haven't had to stop and sound out words since I was like seven years old.

I have also been going to work saturday and sunday and sometimes early in the morning, and the days i can't work are because i have class early in the morning. The great thing about this is on weekdays there is a bus that goes practically directly from my house to downtown at 7:50 in the morning. Me and my 7:50 gang meet up five days a week. There's annoying long ponytail lady, there's fancy business man, there's the milf*, there's the guy who looks like he should be going to university who has similar glasses to mine, and there's the friendly lady who always smokes. sometimes there's a mom and a little girl with a really short haircut and glasses who already looks like a dork and will need braces and i feel bad for the little girl because SHE'S ME when i was a kid.

i'm starting to have those "how did i get here?" moments. i mean, i literally don't remember taking the bus and walking to work or whatever. i guess because i do it so often and it's always the same route.

it's funny because i'm enjoying life a lot right now and also hating it.

i don't like:
-having a schedule
-having to read so much in spanish
-not having guilt-free free-time
-having to do a group project
-boring classes
-tuesdays, because i leave the house at 7:30 for my 9:30 class, and get home around 8:00. and the last class of the day is four hours long!
-feeling like i'm too old to be a student sometimes

i like:
-small attainable goals that school gives me
-my job is still fun
-fun classes
-watching mexican movies
-speaking and listening to spanish all day
-feeling like i am actually learning something kind of useful (no thanks to the seven or so years i put into linguistics)
-running into people i haven't seen since xalapa
-being a student


so i mean the pros and the cons are kind of equally matched. i think the worst thing for me is having so much of my time planned, and having to "hurry and wait", like my mom always says about going to the airport.
i have to rush to catch the bus, then sit on it forever. then rush to catch the next bus. then sit on it. then rush to class but...oh! i'm 20 minutes early. so i stand around. then go to class. then i have an hour to kill. then class. then wait for the bus. then sit on the bus. then hurry to get to the next bus!
etcetera.

and that, in a nutshell, is my life...

well, i skipped class on my birthday and hung out with ryan...it was just what i needed!

end.



*but change the i to a YOU because i wouldn't. if you know what i mean.

text conversation from last week. with explanations!

this is a text conversation my sister and i had this a week or so ago.


me: i just remembered when you bought tampons in tepoztlan. the present!

explanation: okay so this one time my sister and i went to tepoztlan, mexico for just over a month. we stayed with a family we sort of knew. and we had like 20934802984 adventures. (note: this was before i started really learning any spanish, and might have been the inspiration for learning more...)

one of our adventures involved her trying to buy tampons.

basically we had to find a store that sold tampons which took us hours, and then using our very limited communicative abilities we had to ask for tampons...try miming that to somebody, hahaha

and then, if that wasn't hilarious enough, it was a man working at the farmacia, and he was super embarrassed by the whole thing. and then he took some wrapping paper, like for a christmas present, and wrapped the box of tampons up like a present. we almost died of laughing when we got back to the house and saw it.


sister: hahaha i forgot about that, haha. i think next time you're home we should go through some of my pics.

explanation: duh, she wants to look at pictures next time i'm near her

me:remember taking the pics of whathername's bra and making signs that said seduction? and then losing the film?

explanation: all that thinking about pictures from that trip reminded me of this one night, when my sister and i had gone on a road trip to puebla to stay with another friend of ours in mexico, and she took us out to a few bars and got us totally wasted. my sister, who was only like 14 or 15 then was totally drinking in the bars and making out with dudes.* we were actually rockstars in that particular bar...literally the only white chicks. and both of us were platinum blonde at the time

a funny note from that, which has nothing to do with the text convo is that while she was making out with this super handsy mexican boy, another boy was trying to hit on me, and was trying out his english and after noticing me staring at my sister/random mexidude playing tonsil hockey he said

"that guy is such a pulp"

i was like "what the hell are you talking about?"

then he said it in spanish. "pulpo"...octopus HAHAHA.


anyway later that evening we got back to the room we were sleeping in, and there were bras hanging everywhere. this was in a time before digital cameras and we were totally wasted and silly. i mean... my family gets FREAKING SILLY when we're together and add alcohol into the mix...it's a sight to behold.

so yeah, bras hanging everywhere...we were like "are they trying to seduce us?"

and it became a big joke. and we made paper signs that said "seduction?" and we took pictures of us with the bras and signs in various positions ... and with various hairstyles if i remember correctly

it was all fun and games and totally harmless until we got home and developed our film and realized that the girl we were staying with (who is also a photographer by trade) had kept all her film in that room and somehow we mixed up our roll of film with one of hers.

hey, at least we ended up with some sweet pictures of cows...



sister:haha and her mom the creepy massage lady who said white ppl like coffee or something? i hope they found that film! hahahaha

explanation: the mom of that house was a masseuse who was kind of racist. she kept asking us if we wanted a massage, like all the time. and we always said no because...fuck off creepy lady! but she never stopped trying.

but on the positive side they had a bowl of avocados on the kitchen table which they put on everything. even toast in the morning which was like heaven on toast, i tell ya.

me: and she kept asking us the lyrics to beatles songs, like "what means coocoo kachoo?"

explanation: well, it's pretty self explanatory. the mom was trying to learn english and really liked the beatles but she couldn't understand some of the words.

no matter how many times we told her they weren't really words she didn't get it.


sister: ya probably. remember the caves and we tried so hard to get pictures but none turned out? and they were so awesome

explanation: the caves are called "las grutas de cachuamilpa"(caution - terrible sound effects on this website) and were effing amazing. i mean...you go in and walk for miles underground in gigantic caverns.

we only had crappy cameras with us and tried so hard to take pictures.

the awesome thing is when we got then developed most of them did show...something. green somethings. not cave innards. more like...well when i first saw them i said they looked straight off a Tool album cover. somehow the lack of light produced the coolest patterns of green...it's hard to explain. accidental awesomeness.

me: and we went to that hot springs place and all the ladies went into a room with a bathtub thing in it

explanation: okay this one is weird. it was like a million degrees out one day and the massage lady and her family, plus her daughter's friend (who was in her early 20s) told us we were going to a water park.

hell yeah! we thought.

they were like "there's swimming pools and waterslides..."

"sold!" we said

so we drove and drove and drove to this national park

of hot springs

it was over 40 degrees celcius which is like 100 fahrenheit or so i think, and we went to the fucking hot springs!

and they were hot!

but they didn't lie to us. there were water slides and swimming pools. the only thing was they were hotter than the +40 air and sun!!!

what the hell

also, all the ladies we went with were like "okay this is our room" and went into this door in what looked like maybe a change room or showers or something. except the door locked.

my sister and i were invited but we were like "no, we wore our bathing suits under our clothes, we don't need a change room"

"okay, just knock if you want to find us"

after like an hour, or so of exploring we were bored and decided to see what the family was doing in the room with the locked door

we knocked

they let us in

and they were all naked in a giant bath tub together.

ummm

uhhh

my 20 year old self couldn't handle it. i played it cool but there was no way in hell i was getting naked with those ladies in a hot tub.

i guess the hot springs are good for your skin?

anyway it was really awkward.


sister: hahaha yeah it was so hot out too

explanation: none needed. it was.

me: those caves were awesome.

explanation: none needed. they were. really. if you get a chance, go see them.


*note -if you are related to us or know this sister in real life then it isn't true. don't tell her i told you!!!!!!

what? no popcorn?

well i already posted this as my status on facebook so it's like recycled news, but today in Mexican Cinema class, prof 5, a mexican gentleman of about 50 years, told us

"don't think this is one of those fun classes that you can bring popcorn to, this is a serious class"

whaaat? no popcorn? awwwwwww.

and then we watched a film about pancho villa from the '30s, and it was AWESOME! but there were some really funny parts, like when a bunch of crazy mexican soldiers in striped pants are in a cantina and all of a sudden a guy is like

"omg! there's 13 of us at this table! one of us is going to die because it's an unlucky number!"

and another guy who might have been Villa but i'm not sure because two guys wore the same outfit and had crazy moustaches throughout the movie and i kept getting them confused said

"well, if somebody's going to die, let it be the biggest coward!"

and then they decided that the way to tell who the biggest coward was would be to sit in a circle at midnight on chairs and throw a pistol in the air and somehow it'll magically shoot itself in the air, and whoever the gun shoots deserves to die because he's a coward"

"also, we have to turn off all the lights in the bar"

come on, that's so weird it's hilarious.

and they did it! and the fat guy gets shot but he's ok, it's only a wound. in his stomach. and then he's all "oh yeah? i'll show you who's a coward!" and shoots himself in the head unexpectedly, because he was the comic relief throughout the first two thirds of the movie.

so then i was like "whaaat"

also, before the whole shooting himself thing, the fat guy (who they just call "fatty") is captured by the enemy and they bring him to be hanged. the guy who is in charge of hanging him is a young man, and the fat guy is all "whatever you say senorita" and everybody laughs because it's like the hangman is a woman!!! HAHAHA

and then he starts hanging but the rope snaps because he's so fat! HAHAHA

but this whole time i wasn't sure if i was allowed to laugh at this serious historical depiction / film art piece...

but i laughed anyway because we were sitting in the dark.