Thoughts on...no, reflections...whatever. Very rambly.

It's one of those days where I'm not sure what to do. Go outdoors in the summertime heat? (not likely) Stay inside and read a book? (That's more like it)

Write?

Ah, writing.

1. Writing

I read once that those who only write when they feel like writing are hacks. Real writers have to work hard and do it every day and they hate it but they love it. Today I'm going to force myself to spend hours throwing words out of my brain. It really is difficult to get started but I always look back at what I've created with pride.

Especially stuff I've edited. Check this one on my other blog that I barely use. I like this. I should actually post more on that blog...it's meant to be like a "look what I can do" in case I want to show publishers or agents more of my work...so far it has, um, not much. Of anything.

Since school ended I've been telling myself to write more. But then I had that transcription job on top of working at the tattoo shop full time, so any "free-time" was more like "Guilty time I should be spending on transcribing that video that was due two days ago".
I'd say I worked on those videos ten to twelve hours per week. And I was kind of slow at it, so I was maybe making just over minimum wage. But hey, at least it was convenient. (?)

2. The transcription job ended suddenly.

A couple days ago I received an e-mail:

Also, just to let you know first.

I will leave UVic the end of August, as I want to have a full rest...after all the work.

Once you have done the last video transcription, please hand in the invoice to me.

My supervisor is around this time, so once I get the invoice from you, the check should arrive sooner this time.

Sorry again for the delay.

And thank you very much for your great work.

I really appreciate it.

The girl I was working for has English as like a third or fourth language I believe, and so I had to write back and ask for a clarification...did this mean I was out of a second job?

Turns out it did. She's leaving town because her research is finished. BAM. Just like that. So I completed the final video and turned it in yesterday and...um, yeah. Now what?

3. Now what?

Thanks to my awesome first job, I'm not worried about the financial implications of losing ten hours or so of work a week. It all worked out juuuust fine.

And now I have these spare hours.

I knew this research was going to end, and I had a feeling it would be around now so it wasn't really a big surprise. What I didn't expect, though, was the crazy melancholy that filled me when I got on the bus leaving UVic yesterday after handing in my final invoice.

I have no more homework.

I have no reason to go back to UVic. Ever.

That was it.

I didn't realize how much it meant to me to be tied to that place. And now...no.

But then again, my life is really great right now without stupid UVic all up in my business and when I think about it, using my brain-power, I know that I never really want to go back to that life.

4. The A-Z of what I'm excited about right now:

A- I'm going on an airplane soon!

B-I have the best boyfriend ever!

C- Completely avoiding my ten year high-school reunion.

D-dead bodies...I'm going to the bodyworlds exhibit soon!

E-early mornings can be for relaxing, not scrambling to get work done!

F- FREEDOM to do what I want, especially creatively. No more wasting brain space on giving presentations or worrying about deadlines.

G-I love the German guest artists/friends who are coming in August. YAAY!

H - Having a computer that actually works. Thanks Gerry.

I - I can't wait to try the iron-on t-shirt transfers Sarah gave me...they really deserve their own blog post though.

J - Just being able to go with the flow a bit more will be awesome...no more "oh I have too much work to do"; I can be more spontaneous, which is what I prefer.

K - Being nore kreative. See that? I used a 'k' instead of a 'c'. Wow! I'm really good at that. (Oh my gosh, so kidding. SO KIDDING guys.)

L- More lomography! Using that Holga is so much fun.

M- I'm daydreaming of another trip to Mexico in the near future.

N - Not going back to school in the fall for the first time in a bazillion years. (although I might go back-to-school shopping anyway because... *sigh* notebooks)

O - I'm using my office for what it's meant for these days, not as a storage locker for books and receipts and dead computers anymore.

P- Ryan painted both the bathrooms in our house fun colors last week. Very fancy!

Q - Que hay un nuevo lugar en que se venden tacos mexicanos (pero vegeterianos)

R - Reading as much as I want and renewing my love affair with the library!!

S-I get to hang with my oldest younger sister in Alberta! She's great!

T - True Blood- watching dates with my man once a week.

U - Gaining some understanding and perspective of myself and who I am outside of 'what I do'

V- Having a new Vancouver friend to visit (although we're gonna miss him here!)

W - Writing. A lot.

X - Come on, nothing starts with X

Y - Yeah I should get a sweet haircut soon. Undercut? I think so!

Z-I think we're gonna hit up the Calgary Zoo next week!

I don't know, I feel cautiously optomistic about the next few years. Beyond thirty though, I have no idea.

It's like thirty is a ... landmark age? A cut-off for something?

Before thirty I'm "in my twenties" but thirty? Um, hello adult.

Then again, I thought the exact thing about twenty five.

Anyway I'd like to have something to show by the time I'm thirty. Something tangible.

I guess I have that whole 'diploma' thing, which is kind of hung in its cardboard blue frame-thingy it came with. I shoved one end behind my bulletin board in my office. Maybe I should get a real frame? Anyway I guess that's something to be proud of. Instead I kind of want to shove it under the bed and say, "Yeah yeah, finally it's over with. Now what? What's next?"

"What next?" indeed.

Aaaand yeah. That's where I'm at. More fun bloggy things coming soon. I promise!

STAR WARS and other projects

(star wars cookbook Ryan found at the library)

I have not seen Star Wars.

And I'm finally at the point in my life where enough is enough and I should really just watch it. From the Family Guy movies to Spaceballs to ... um ... every single pop-culture medium ever ... I'm pretty sure I have seen enough references to the movie to know the plot.

I think I might watch them someday and kind of write out my reactions, because the movie isn't a surprise to anybody in the world except for me these days and it might be funny to read.

Right now that seems a little ambitious but that's what summer time is for. In fact, I'm planning a project for once school is over so my brain doesn't whither away: there's a teeny little video rental place near(ish) my house and they have a section of Foreign Films and Documentaries. I was looking at them and thought how cool it would be to watch them all. So I think I might. And kind of do a review for each one.

Fun, no?

I also had this idea that I should watch every 'cult classic', and every movie that everybody but me has seen and write about them as well.
For example, Teen Wolf. I just saw that movie like three weeks ago for the first time. I could revisit Porkys and Revenge of the Nerds and look at them from a 21st century perspective.

Maybe.

We'll see how the summer goes. I might be much too busy enjoying myself and not having midterms all the time.

surprise guest post by Ryan

Surprise Guest Blogger: my boyfriend Ryan


I enjoy the library. Most people use it for books but I prefer to have my own collection of books on the fireplace mantel. I usually use the library to rent DVDs. Hey they are free and you can order almost anything (as long as you're willing to wait 3 months to get it).

Yesterday I was at the library looking at movies and there was a grandma and granddaughter checking out the collection of available DVDs beside me. The 2 year old kept telling her grandma "Up, up, up" but granny was too busy looking at the geriatric ward porn collection (Richard Gere and Antonio Banderas movies!)

"Up, up, up," continued the little girl.

"I'll pick you up in a minute dear," replied granny.

"Up, up, up"

Geez, give the kid some attention, I thought.

Then I saw it. The movie "Up" was on the shelf directly in front of grandma. I was number 212 on the wait list for this (yes, I am too cheap to pay to rent it) and as I stared at the movie I realized the little girl was not reaching for her grandma, she was reaching for "Up"!

"Up, up, up"

Alright, I had enough. I politely asked granny to excuse my reach and picked "Up" off the shelf. With "Up" in my hand and the little girl smiling at me I gave her a smile and a wink and walked away.

As I signed out the movie I had noticed that the little girl had stopped saying "up". You're welcome grandma.

Another random act of kindness. I'm a giver.

caution: major whineage ahead

okay so yeah. it's the last week of classes. i should feel relieved, no?

no.

I thought so too, but get this: UNIVERSITY IS HARD!
I don't know if you know that.

Here are my next few weeks in painful detail:

tomorrow
-work in the morning
-class...and frantically finish all the crap for next day

due dec.4
-12 page term paper on 'latin america'
-1 page assignment
-I also have a quiz

dec 5&6 work full days

due dec.7
-4 page (in Spanish) assignment on a really boring long-winded reading I hardly understand
-Final Essay on 'something we read this year' (5 pages in Spanish)

due dec.8
-1 page assignment about a movie we watched in class

dec 9
-cram for exam, work on papers, probably procrastinate a lot

dec.10
-Final Exam on Spanish Grammar
-finish papers

dec 11
-sleep?

dec 12&13 work full days

due dec.14
-9 page paper due (in Spanish) on Mexican Film
-Take-Home final exam due (which I am suspicious of...take homes are usually way harder than regular exams)
-tattoo appointment (YAY!)

dec.15
-my good friend arrives from Calgary (YAY)

dec 16
-try not to bore my friend with all the whining?
-maybe get out of the house?

dec.17
-Final exam on Latin American culture. This is going to be the worst one because I almost failed the other exam in this course. Yikes.

then...PARTAY TIME!

So yeah, if you catch me crying in a corner or throwing up or scribbling on random papers or generally being crazy, this is why.

Also, I'm probably going to look extra ugly because who can do makeup at a time like this?

FML.

me no smrt

my friend from "back home" was supposed to arrive today.

i was so excited! i sat by my phone, telling ryan that i can't do anything because she's coming today and i don't want to make any plans for the rest of the week because she's coming today. i can't even breathe because today is the day and i need to keep every waking moment free because she's coming today!

i waited and waited.

finally at around 2pm i updated my facebook status to "where are [friend] and [friend's husband]?

and soon after, my phone rang

it was her! FINALLY SHE WAS HERE

"hello?" i said

no, wait. actually i picked up my phone, and because it very seldom actually rings i hit the "send busy message" button instead of the "answer" button

so i called her back and she was the one who said "hello?"

"hi, it's me!" i said excitedly into the talky bit. i was ready with questions about where she was and what did she want to do first but she cut me off.

"i'm going to tell you this one last time. we are going to be there NEXT WEEK"

she wasn't as angry as it seems all typed out, it was more of a "you silly little idiot" tone of voice she said it in.

all my friends have this tone of voice for me because i am frequently a silly little idiot.

i was embarrassed. i made some excuse up about being so excited and ... just wanted to know where they were ... because ... i ... can't wait for next week... yeah, that's it.

she was making cabbage rolls and had to go.

the rest of the day i felt so stupid.

it was one of those days with the low self esteem and the my life is so lame blues. i was totally down in the dumps.
then we went to the dump! so i was literally in the dumps!

we brought our garbage there, and then ryan pulled the classic "oh, since we're out we might as well go ... " trick that people with cars always do

it's the worst thing about depending on someone to drive your sorry carless ass around.

he had some movies to return at the library.

THE LIBRARY!

(cue beams of light in the clouds and that hallelujah chorus)*

i LOVE the library.

when i was a kid, my brother, sister and i went to visit my dad every second weekend in calgary, and he would bring us to the gigantic fancy public library near his house all the time.

ever since then, going to the library has felt like going on a treasure hunt. the only thing better for me is a used book store because you get to keep those books for ever n ever

nothing makes me more excited than the hunt of a well-used paperback.**

seriously. JOY!!

by the time ryan's and his kids had done their business, whatever it was they were doing, i was clutching three books to my chest and was whispering

"how long do i get to keep these?"

while casting my eyes to the shelves around me rather than looking at ryan in the eye because i know he was all "this chick is crazy today"

"i don't know, why don't you go check them out and your little print-out will tell you"

"okay!"

they have those self check-out machines at the library, and it's funny because you scan the book and then the little de-magnetisey thing makes a thump noise, and that's how you know it's done.

but the "thump" is accompanied by a ... well it really felt like there was somebody under the counter punching the book.

i told this to ryan and he looked uneasy.

was i joking or not?

especially when i began giggling like a maniac after the third THUMP

"come on, let's go" he whispered when i was finished and we headed out the door.

BEEPBEEPBEEPBEEP

shit, i set the alarm off

i came back and the librarian was already walking toward me sternly, as though i was a huge trouble maker.

"sorry," i said, "i don't know why it's beeping at me! maybe it's because i have this other book in my bag from home"
i pulled out a douglas copeland book. she frowned at it and looked at me like i was a huge idiot (it was seriously a recurring theme today) and then she re-scanned the books.

THUMP. THUMP. THUMP.

i covered my grin with my hand and pretended to cough.

i also got some audio books for ryan's seven year old, like pinocchio and peter pan and some thing called "inkheart" that's FOURTEEN DISCS LONG.


please play this video for the soundtrack to the rest of this post


remember the disney version of pinocchio? did he ever get burned on the feet? or sell his ABC book to go to the theater? because he does in this version, according to the names of the chapters.

here are some of the others:

pinocchio and the assassins (WTF do kids need to know about assassins for?)

pinocchio is heartbroken to discover that the blue haired fairy is dead and the pigeon takes him to look for gepetto

pinocchio narrowly escapes drowning but is swallowed by the shark

the pinocchio i know and love would never hang out with assassins and get eaten by a shark. a whale, maybe, but never a shark.

he'd also sing about gottin' no strings to hold him down, make him fret or make him frown.

wow this song is fricking creepy now that i'm all old n shit. the french floozy is all "your savoir faire is ooh la la"
what does pinocchio know to do that's "ooh la la"

how to get wood, perhaps?

don't mess with me this morning

or my ridiculous rooster tail will getcha!!

so fellas, what's new? i've been doing a lot of boring things, and also feeling sorry for the kid with the burned eyes in that Jai-Ho movie. what's it called... you know.

ryan has figured out a system, using math and science, to getting the best movies from the library. the key is to go in with an open mind, because sometimes you'll come out with something like MILK (which i can't wait to watch tonight!) and sometimes you'll come out with "the wackness" which may sound pretty sick or dope, but once you start watching it, you will realize that it is rather aptly named.

it is totally wack. to the max.

we shut it off after i whined "this is borrrring" "i don't liiiiike this movie" a bunch of times.

but then, using computer technology that you could never possibly understand, ryan figured out that watchmen was at the library and took off running out the door.

while he was gone i stole one of his coveted m&m cookies...and of course he forgot his wallet and walked back in the house, leaving me pretending i wasn't chewing a ginormous bite of cookie.

so busted!!

but he came back from the library and was all "they have like a cart-full of new releases!" and thus began our night of watching india's version of who want's to be a millionaire and kids getting their eyes taken out with spoons or whatever happened there.

oh! we also watched a vampire movie yesterday, and i drank beer rather than going to school because fuck off, that's why.*

it was called ... something to do with 30 days. i think it was 30 days of darkness. and as far as kind of lame vampire movies go, this one was pretty cool. the vampires were sort of scary, not like those True Blood pussies. these vampires had messed up faces and they kind of looked like bats.

i'm going to google their faces right now (that's what she said) so i can show you.



okay so it's actually called 30 Days of Night - the basic premise is that a bunch of vampires show up in a town in alaska where they get ... 30 days of night! and they totally kill a bunch of people.

you should watch it. but here's a warning: i said "EW!" more times than i can count when i was watching it.

wow. i should think about a career in movie reviewing.



*sorry for the swearing