Ten things that I saw last week:

the pie filling on the pie

So yesterday I was all like "What should I do? Go outside? NOT LIKELY", being a total summertime grump. And then Ryan was like "Hey, let's go to this very popular swim hole place near-ish to our house." And I was like "I dunno...." and he was like "...and then we can get pie ..." And I shushed him and said "You had me at pie".

So basically I was bribed out to this swimmy place. Kind of. I also sort of wanted to go because, you know, summer...water...bathing suits...day off...etcetera. I haven't really done any of that yet.

We arrived. There were greasy torsos as far as the eye could see. The kids immediately leapt off the highest rocks they could find into the water, with me barely having enough time to shout "WAIT UNTIL I CHECK IT'S SAFE" and peering over the edge, looking for rocks or sharks. They were fine.

Thirty seconds after that, Ryan had whipped his shirt and shoes off and was having jumping contests with the boys.

I stood around, casually leaning on giant boulders on the side of the rocks, keeping track of every person who may have looked at me. I eventually took my t-shirt off, you know, to blend in. I kept my vans and denim skirt on though. Bikini top and skirt.

I brought my Holga with me. And a book. You know, for something to do. But immediately realized I didn't want to read. It was too weird. The only other person there with a book was this portly man with a lot of grey chest hair, who was lying on his side in a vaguely seductive-esque pose. And I think he was "reading"...by which I mean "pretending to read but staring at 18 year old chicks".

I watched the boys jump off stuff for a while.

Then I watched big boys do shots of something and then jump off fucking ridiculously high cliffs for a while, closing my eyes every time they hit the water so I didn't have to see somebody die. (Don't worry, nobody did.)

"Are you gonna jump in, Nova?"

"Uh...I don't know yet."

"The water's warm! It's not bad!"

"Yeah well I don't really like swimming very much."

"What are you doing?"

"Um...just...standing here."

"That sounds boring."

"Yeah."

I took some rad photos with my Holga. I think. We'll see. Maybe. Last time I dropped any film off at the only place in town that can develop them, they threw my photos in the garbage! WTF? The lady said it's because I dropped them off in January and they can't babysit people's film for so long, and then she said that they were probably all over-exposed or blank or something...but anyway long story short WHAT THE HELL? And I WANT MY PHOTOS. So yeah. Hopefully next time it all works out, you know, for me.

But when the film ran out, because it turns out I had it set to take twelve photos per roll instead of twenty like I thought I had, then I was all out of distractions.

So I went for it.

I took off the skirt and the shoes and stood on the rock beside Ryan's seven year old. From inland a little bit it looked like nothing. Especially with little kids leaping fearlessly off of it. But standing there I could feel my vertigo, my fear of heights and my fear of swimming in weird deep water (which was actually only like fifteen feet deep or something) kick in. My heart started racing irrationally.

"Calm down", I told myself. "It's fun. The water will feel awesome. You're so bored anyway. Just do it. Everybody else is doing it. Quit being a chicken."

I had to finally ask the seven year old to count us down and jump at the same time as me.

3, 2, 1, GO!

*SPLASH*

HOLY MOTHERFUCKER THAT'S COLD

It was so effing cold I couldn't catch my breath. Ryan was swimming nearby and I was trying to shout angry things at him about how he's a liar and it's freezing, but it came out all gaspy and weak.
you *GASP* lied *GASP* aaah! *GASP* I *GASP* can't *GASP* catch *GASP* my *GASP* breath!

I tread water as hard and fast as I could for a good two minutes just to warm up, and then it was okay. But seriously, I don't know why I believed the water was warm. The water is never warm when people tell you it is.

We swam for a bit, stood up on slimy rocks in the middle of the water, I got touched by two fish and didn't panic, and I had fun.

The pie afterward was just the icing on the cake. Or...the apple pie filling on the ... pie?

Something awesome.

Thoughts on...no, reflections...whatever. Very rambly.

It's one of those days where I'm not sure what to do. Go outdoors in the summertime heat? (not likely) Stay inside and read a book? (That's more like it)

Write?

Ah, writing.

1. Writing

I read once that those who only write when they feel like writing are hacks. Real writers have to work hard and do it every day and they hate it but they love it. Today I'm going to force myself to spend hours throwing words out of my brain. It really is difficult to get started but I always look back at what I've created with pride.

Especially stuff I've edited. Check this one on my other blog that I barely use. I like this. I should actually post more on that blog...it's meant to be like a "look what I can do" in case I want to show publishers or agents more of my work...so far it has, um, not much. Of anything.

Since school ended I've been telling myself to write more. But then I had that transcription job on top of working at the tattoo shop full time, so any "free-time" was more like "Guilty time I should be spending on transcribing that video that was due two days ago".
I'd say I worked on those videos ten to twelve hours per week. And I was kind of slow at it, so I was maybe making just over minimum wage. But hey, at least it was convenient. (?)

2. The transcription job ended suddenly.

A couple days ago I received an e-mail:

Also, just to let you know first.

I will leave UVic the end of August, as I want to have a full rest...after all the work.

Once you have done the last video transcription, please hand in the invoice to me.

My supervisor is around this time, so once I get the invoice from you, the check should arrive sooner this time.

Sorry again for the delay.

And thank you very much for your great work.

I really appreciate it.

The girl I was working for has English as like a third or fourth language I believe, and so I had to write back and ask for a clarification...did this mean I was out of a second job?

Turns out it did. She's leaving town because her research is finished. BAM. Just like that. So I completed the final video and turned it in yesterday and...um, yeah. Now what?

3. Now what?

Thanks to my awesome first job, I'm not worried about the financial implications of losing ten hours or so of work a week. It all worked out juuuust fine.

And now I have these spare hours.

I knew this research was going to end, and I had a feeling it would be around now so it wasn't really a big surprise. What I didn't expect, though, was the crazy melancholy that filled me when I got on the bus leaving UVic yesterday after handing in my final invoice.

I have no more homework.

I have no reason to go back to UVic. Ever.

That was it.

I didn't realize how much it meant to me to be tied to that place. And now...no.

But then again, my life is really great right now without stupid UVic all up in my business and when I think about it, using my brain-power, I know that I never really want to go back to that life.

4. The A-Z of what I'm excited about right now:

A- I'm going on an airplane soon!

B-I have the best boyfriend ever!

C- Completely avoiding my ten year high-school reunion.

D-dead bodies...I'm going to the bodyworlds exhibit soon!

E-early mornings can be for relaxing, not scrambling to get work done!

F- FREEDOM to do what I want, especially creatively. No more wasting brain space on giving presentations or worrying about deadlines.

G-I love the German guest artists/friends who are coming in August. YAAY!

H - Having a computer that actually works. Thanks Gerry.

I - I can't wait to try the iron-on t-shirt transfers Sarah gave me...they really deserve their own blog post though.

J - Just being able to go with the flow a bit more will be awesome...no more "oh I have too much work to do"; I can be more spontaneous, which is what I prefer.

K - Being nore kreative. See that? I used a 'k' instead of a 'c'. Wow! I'm really good at that. (Oh my gosh, so kidding. SO KIDDING guys.)

L- More lomography! Using that Holga is so much fun.

M- I'm daydreaming of another trip to Mexico in the near future.

N - Not going back to school in the fall for the first time in a bazillion years. (although I might go back-to-school shopping anyway because... *sigh* notebooks)

O - I'm using my office for what it's meant for these days, not as a storage locker for books and receipts and dead computers anymore.

P- Ryan painted both the bathrooms in our house fun colors last week. Very fancy!

Q - Que hay un nuevo lugar en que se venden tacos mexicanos (pero vegeterianos)

R - Reading as much as I want and renewing my love affair with the library!!

S-I get to hang with my oldest younger sister in Alberta! She's great!

T - True Blood- watching dates with my man once a week.

U - Gaining some understanding and perspective of myself and who I am outside of 'what I do'

V- Having a new Vancouver friend to visit (although we're gonna miss him here!)

W - Writing. A lot.

X - Come on, nothing starts with X

Y - Yeah I should get a sweet haircut soon. Undercut? I think so!

Z-I think we're gonna hit up the Calgary Zoo next week!

I don't know, I feel cautiously optomistic about the next few years. Beyond thirty though, I have no idea.

It's like thirty is a ... landmark age? A cut-off for something?

Before thirty I'm "in my twenties" but thirty? Um, hello adult.

Then again, I thought the exact thing about twenty five.

Anyway I'd like to have something to show by the time I'm thirty. Something tangible.

I guess I have that whole 'diploma' thing, which is kind of hung in its cardboard blue frame-thingy it came with. I shoved one end behind my bulletin board in my office. Maybe I should get a real frame? Anyway I guess that's something to be proud of. Instead I kind of want to shove it under the bed and say, "Yeah yeah, finally it's over with. Now what? What's next?"

"What next?" indeed.

Aaaand yeah. That's where I'm at. More fun bloggy things coming soon. I promise!

BLAST

There's a pub near my work with the world's craziest hand dryer machines.

And yeah, maybe I was there the other day.

And yeah, maybe we closed the shop down a little early to go for a beer. What? It was TOO HOT out and we were bored and the boss came with us so it's okay.

So anyway, I've thought that these hand dryers were the bees knees since the dawn of time, more or less, and decided that day, after a beer or two (in the heat which equals like forty beers), to take some photos of my arm. In the bathroom. Under the hand dryer.

I made sure nobody was in there with me first, because...awkward!

Yeah. Now that's a blast of hot air. Best hand dryers ever!

But...how will I ever catch a husband?

Scene: bus stop. Of fucking course.

Me: (just hangin' out after a long day of working, not harming anybody, minding my own business, being awesome. The ususal.)

Random Guy: (Standing beside me, turned to face me sort of, obviously looking at my arm.)



Me: (Trying so hard to keep minding my own business)

Random Guy: (Talking to me, even though I'm turned away from him, body language = CLOSED FOR BUSINESS, listening to my iPod with those ubiquitous white earbuds.)

Me: (Sigh) Pardon me?

RG: Nice ink.

Me: Yeah. I know.

RG: Where'd you get that done? Here in town?

Me: Yeah. (Digs a Tattoo Zoo card out of my bag) Here, take a card.

RG: Mumble mumble full body suit?

Me: What? I'm working on it. (Laugh)

RG: But why the hell would you do that to yourself?

Me: (Puts mental boxing gloves on, because HELL NO) What do you mean?

RG: You know, it's never gonna come off.

Me: Yeah. I know. It's supposed to be like that.

RG: Is that even a real tattoo? (Still talking about my arm)

Me: Yes. (laughs)

RG: You're gonna have that for life, you know?

Me: Yeah.

RG: Why would you do that to yourself, kid?

Me: (WTF, this guy's like ten years older than me tops) Um...because I wanted to?

RG: Yeah well mumble mumble husband mumble mumble it's gonna be hard when you want to get married and get a family.

Me: No. You know what? (Stands up straight, looks him in his ignorant face) I have a family and we are doing just fine, actually.

RG: (Holds hands up in defensive posture) Woah woah woah no need to get angry.

Me: Yeah, well it's awful to be standing here, minding my own business and then some stranger comes up to me and starts saying things like that to me. It's very rude and it's hurtful.

RG: mumble mumble where'd you get that work done anyway? Here in town?

(At this time I realize he's totally drunk and it's useless to even waste my time, even though I had this full speech coming to me about how I was just at my full time job and I have a degree from a University now and what was he doing being drunk in the middle of the day on like a Monday anyway and who is he to judge me...etcetera.)

My bus came.

Me: That's my bus. (walks away with semi-threatening gesture, hoping he takes it as a warning for next time.)

RG: Yeah. (shouts after me) Good luck with all that ink.

Seriously guys. Yeah. I was so sad about it that on the bus I text-messaged my (female, tattooed) boss: D-bag @ the bus stop just basically asked me how i expect to get a man and have a family with all these tattoos.

Her reply?

Awwww fuck that guy in the neck. Did you ask him why he is so mean? Ask him if he's mad at his mom so he had to be mean to other women to compensate for his pencil dick. My standard response to guys like that is to furrow my brow and ask "what's wrong with you? Are you handicap(sic)? Learn some manners." When that fails I tell them to go get fucked. Feel free to use at your leisure. :)

Hahaha thanks Sarah. But seriously guys. LEARN SOME FUCKING MANNERS. I can not believe the sense of entitlement people seem to have, thinking they can just go up to complete strangers and insult their appearance. Tattoos are pretty mean things to insult, as well, because you can't really change them. Keep it to yourself. And remember:



__________________

On a more positive note, CLICK HERE to read people's true life stories by Sarah Von. It's a very interesting (and on-going) project she's been working on for a while now. She basically interviews people with a-typical lifestyles, or who have had something crazy happen in their lives.
And especially check it out on November 29th, because that's when my interview will be up!!

mm, cherries. (drool)

i fought a monster whilst a-camping

there were severe time restraints on our camping trip. we had originally planned to go for three or four days, but work and kids-picking-up and stuff changed our plans.

we still had fun, and honestly, i don't know if i would enjoy camping for more than a day without any booze. unless i brought a bunch of books with me.

i just don't have any imagination for things to do once i'm out in the wilderness.

sure, we made up a story about the poor seagull ("chuck") with a broken wing we saw. he disappeared at some point during the day, and ryan thought maybe he had pushed himself off into the ocean to "go surfing"

soon we had given him a soundtrack; for some reason he was sailing off into the sunset at the end of the entire movie we wrote about him to "free ride" (the 70's song by the edgar winter group)

here are some photos, because i remembered to charge my camera battery for once (and ended up taking 360 photos!)








this wasn't a drive-up campground kind of deal. we had to park at a trail head and fill out a form saying where we were going and for how long and who do the camp rangers notify if we go missing.

i had bear mace tucked into the side mesh pocket of my backpack where the water bottle is supposed to go

i think it was around an hour hike. it was just 2 kilometers, but there were a lot of twisty turny up-hilly bits.

and ... a suspension bridge!

i always forget just how terrified i am of heights until i come across something like this.

ryan was like "go stand in the middle of the bridge and i'll take your picture"

so i did. but i didn't stop walking once i started. i yelled back that i was actually scared and he started making the bridge bounce and he didn't realize how close to being punched in the head he was until he saw the crazy in my eyes

anyway it was totally safe and obviously we were fine

we kept walking. suddenly there was a noise

ryan: "do you hear that?"

me: "yeah"

ryan: it's the ocean!

me: oh, i thought it was cars driving by!

(oh, city girl)

we got there all sweaty and joyous

ryan saw somebody he used to work with who lives in the middle of alberta now. in fact they camped directly beside us.

we only stayed one night. this is how our camping went:

1. hike, almost get lost, get passed by an old man who wasn't even out of breath, cross bridge, hike, arrive at the beach

2. choose a campsite, find a dying seagull near it, choose another campsite and dump our heavy bags there

3. walk around, take pictures of caves and waterfalls and a weird bungy swing thing tied to a tree at the top of a cliff, almost get in a fight because i didn't want to go on the swing but ryan really wanted me to

4. set up the tent, collect firewood just in case it rained, unroll sleeping bags, get tired, hang food up in a tree

5. lie in the tent "just for a minute" together and promptly fall asleep

6. wake up like 3 hours later, the sun is about to set

7. get up, make some cajun beans and rice (which was delicious) on our teeny tiny camp stove thing that you should be extremely jealous of because it's awesome

8. take pictures of the sunset, ryan "makes me an ice cream"


9. get cold and have to pee, find out there are outhouses at the top of a really steep climb, decide to be civil and use the outhouses, almost die of the stench inside the outhouses, go back to campsite and put on warm jammies inside the tent

10. decide that it's bedtime even though we just had a three hour nap

11. wake up in the middle of the night freezing cold even though i'm wearing 198459 layers of clothing, realize my sleeping bag is unzipped and the velcro at the top is strangling me, remember that i had been dreaming about being in a farm house in saskatchewan in the winter with no shoes on in the snow, think it's funny

12. wake up the next day to the sound of ships, fall back asleep, wake up, fall back asleep, wake up again. fall back asleep.

13. definitively wake up when the sun is high in the sky

14. have soup for breakfast because it's still chilly out

15. pack up and leave. make jokes about napping while sleeping.

16. get winded and take 5 breaks in the first 15 minutes of the hike because it's all uphill on stairs that are like knee height

17. hike hike hike some more. find "tree porn"


18. collapse into the car, try not to be offended when ryan says he's less tired than me because he doesn't lead such a sedentary lifestyle, go get shot-in-the-darks from serious coffee

19. feel awkward about the plural of "shot in the dark". is it "shots in the dark" or "shot in the darks"?

20. go home and get crunk on a gigantic bottle of wine.

the end.

school's out (for a week or so!)

finally, a little break

i mean, i do have a friend visiting, and the kids are still around, and then a camping trip is coming up and then i work on the weekend...

but at least i don't have to take the bus if i don't wanna

that's all, i'm fairly boring these days.