Well I won't tell you that I ate hallucinogenic mushrooms or anything like that, but I was offered a big sackful the other night and maybe or maybe not 'just a pinch' of them landed in my mouth but I don't think so. Actually, seeing as this is the internet and everything, I can definitely tell you that nothing like that didn't not maybe un-happen.
But if they did, it wouldn't have been very much at all. Like an hour later my friend would have asked me something like "Are you feeling anything?" And I might have replied "Mm, I don't think so. Everything's a little wavy but....oh, wait. Yeah. A little."
What definitely happened was my friend's birthday party on a rooftop.
And then my other friend from far away was in town.
And then she was staying at another friend's house who lives near where the rooftop in question is located.
And then they came to the birthday party.
And then I slept on a futon with the farawayfriend at the other friend's house.
And there was a guy doing yoga in the middle of a house party who later tried to tell us that he was going to make a pickle/ice cream/yogurt smoothie while we were sleeping.
And stories were being told about castrating calves with your mouth. True stories. That my friend was telling. And I can verify them because I have a dvd that she sent me in the mail of such an event. Complete with music videos. Very professional.
And the next day I was working but then my friendfromfaraway came by and got a tattoo for her mom from my best boss and good times were had by all.
Where am I going with all of this? Oh, right. So yeah I was out for breakfast with my friends yesterday and one of them whipped out these teeny weeny cute half-sized business cards.
"I have these moo cards," she said.
We were like "Whaaaat?"
They're business cards, but you can personalize the crap out of them. And they're small. And they're inexpensive. And cute.
So obviously I rushed home after work today and used the Google to see exactly what a 'moo' card is. And then I ordered a hundred. Because clearly I NEED BUSINESS CARDS. That just say my name. And e-mail address.
I figure that since I have no definable purpose for business cards it's best to keep them a mystery. I'll meet a random person on the street and be like "Here's my card" and they'll still be like "Huh? Who was that mysterious lady?" And I'll throw a smoke bomb between us and twirl my cape and then try to run away really fast so when the smoke clears I'm gone. There's nothing so embarrassing as throwing a smoke bomb to get away from someone and then realizing you have no immediate escape route and you know that they can see you running down the sidewalk ahead of them.
Take my word for it.