shitty advice, $1

I did, I paid the man. He said so many people were taking his picture that he should start up a facebook group. He probably should. He told me to always do what others expect of me, and to amputate my feet, and never follow my dreams. And then my bus came so I had to cut him short.

Taking care of a bulldog.

The thing about bulldogs is they are sensitive little muffins. They look all tough but you have to be careful. They have breathing issues, skin issues, short life spans, tummy issues, they can't swim, they overheat easily, they get foot problems if you don't cut their toenails, you have to bathe them yourself ... and more! Tank's quite a little princess sometimes. He loves the blow-dryer after he gets a bath though which is the cutest thing ever.

In the summer heat, Bulldogs will literally choke to death on their own saliva if they pant too much. Can you believe it? That would be an extreme case, obviously, but I'm still careful. I still don't want him to get doggie heat-stroke, so our walks have to be either early in the morning or late at night during the summer.

This morning I got up a little late, um, 8am late, so our walk didn't happen until it was kind of hot out. I cut it short and brought sir-pants-a-lot home to his water dish pretty quickly. This is him on our cool kitchen floor after he had a big drink.

And, I mean, it's not like we were running around, this was from walking at what I would consider a pretty slow pace. It still probably took him half an hour of lying on the floor, drinking water and panting to get back to normal.

So, in conclusion, if you find yourself taking care of a bulldog for any amount of time, please do your research and be aware of all their issues. As far as doggies go, they take a lot of work and care. But it's worth it, they're the best dogs in the world, I swear.

A little blogging secret...

I "drew blogging" for you guys there. I suppose it's kind of like a brainstorm? Whatever. 

For the next week or so I'm not really going to be around this blog too much. Life is happening, and by that I mean our new girl at work who was working my Tuesday/Wednesday weekend went to Mexico and I was all like "Can I work every single day for the next two weeks?" ... I'm not complaining about working all those days at all, it's really fun, plus my paycheques will be large enough for me to finally buy myself something amazing like this or this. Big plans, I tell ya.

Anyway, my general blogging strategy is this: every Tuesday (or "my Saturday", as I like to call it) I spend a few hours putting together fun posts for the next week that are not date specific. (i.e. photos, etc.) as well as adding to my Things I Love Thursday posts for the following week or two. Then, if something rad comes up or I want to actually write things, I can just shuffle the photo posts around and post whatever on a specific day. You dig? So, because this week I don't have Tuesday and Wednesday completely free, I may not get around to doing anything spectacular.  Or maybe I will. But expect a lot of photos.

But here's something you can learn from me today:

Scheduling posts is awesome and the easiest way to blog.  

Do you wonder how those big bloggers do it? How do they write stuff every single day by 8am? Well I bet they don't. They probably wrote all that stuff two weeks ago and scheduled it to post at a specific time. It's so easy. 

I dare...nay, challenge you to try scheduling a post if you've never done it before. Just try it out.  I bet you'll like it. It's nice and relaxing, it takes all the pressure off. And then when you really feel like writing, just go for it. You're not limited to one topic, one blog post. You can write six and set them up for the entire week. 

Go forth and schedule, my friends. Go forth. And schedule.

My (rather extensive) reading list...

 First off, I'd like to say that I really hope this whole 'rapture' thing isn't happening...I mean...I'm a pretty decent human but by no means do I pray or devote time to any deity in any way. So wish me luck with the whole not going to hell thing, I guess. Could one of you vouch for me? That would be great. Thanks!

And now...back to my regularly scheduled awesomeness. 

***

I'm one of those people whose mind goes absolutely blank the moment I enter the grocery store a library or a video store.

(For those of you under 20 years old, a video store is somewhere that used to house VHS cassettes, and more recently DVDs. You would have to leave the house, go all the way to the store, actually pay money to borrow the movies for a few days, and then have to leave your house again, go all the way back and return it on time or be charged ridiculously expensive late fees. It was rather inconvenient and I'm glad those days are nearly over.)

Anyway, what I'm trying to get at is that I forget what I want when I go into stores. I get all the way there and then draw a blank every gosh darn time. And since I have recently decided that the library totally rules, it's become a bit frustrating: staring at the stacks and totally forgetting what those eight thousand books people have recommended are called. Or who wrote them. Or whether or not they even exist. So I'd spend an hour just walking up and down the aisles, looking at book covers and trying to tell whether or not I've heard of that one or not.

Those days are far in the past now though, now that I've come up with my new invention: a list.

That's right, it's ... a list. Of books I want to read. I carry it on me at all times, just in case someone mentions a must-read, or there's a surprise library (or book store) visit in my future.

At first, my list was just a piece of paper. But then that wasn't sturdy enough to withstand my bus-nomad, large-purse-or-backpack lifestyle. So I started carrying around an ugly little coil notebook, and wrote 'the list' down any old which way in that book.

But it was even more inconvenient. I would be standing in the A's section of the library frantically flipping the pages trying to find the title of that Atwood book I was pretty sure I wrote down weeks ago. I felt rather conspicuous. Nobody flips notebook pages in the library stacks. It's weird. I was a library weirdo!

But then, one day: epiphany! I had just ordered three REALLY pretty notebooks from the Black Apple Etsy store. (You must check it out if you haven't already.) And I thought "Wouldn't it be nice if my list was attractive...and alphabetical?"

And thus was born...the narwhal book. I've been using it for a year or so now, so it's kind of beaten up, but I think it just adds character.

***

I am in love with this book.

A notebook is meant for scribbling thoughts, for making notes, for jotting jots. So don't be stingy with the pages, or you'll have an empty notebook for ages.

Love it.

***

My list continues to grow. Don't judge. I'm one of those people who hasn't read very many classics because they're paced so slow and I don't care about 1800s romance. That also goes for Love in the Time of Cholera. Ugh. Seriously. But you know what book was surprisingly awesome? The Lost World by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle! It was really cool and hardly racist at all, haha.

***

These are all the books I will read soon, presented to you now in fancy pants alphabetical order:

(click the images to see larger size)

***

Have you read any of these before? What did you think?

Do you have any other recommendations? I would love to hear them! 

Should your blog be anonymous or not?

This one goes out to all of you who are thinking of starting a brand new blog.

---

This isn't an article on how to increase your readership or some top ten list for better blog content or any of that fantastic stuff. Although I do believe that those are all valid and important things to read. Just google those phrases and you'll have hours of reading to do on marketing strategies and the like.

What I do want to tell you about has to do with the trust you gain by sharing with your readers. It's tenuous, because it's basically a intangible text-based relationship you are cultivating, at least at first. It's the kind of relationship that's easy to break or lose or just straight-up forget about. And twice this week bloggers have lost me by "breaking character".

Let me explain.

When you're starting your blog, you must decide whether or not you are an anonymous blogger or not. I've been both in my awesome blogging career and I am not saying that one is better than the other.  But you have to choose.

Being anonymous means hiding all personal and identifiable information, which may seem like the best way to go, especially if you're new to the blogging world and are embarrassed to let your "real life" friends find out about it. That's why I did it, anyway.

Being a "named" blogger means you let it all hang out. You post photos of yourself, you write about your life, and you know that your employer, your dad and your enemy from high school are all possibly reading everything you say. You also know that the internet is forever, and you watch your mouth! (Er...fingers?)

If you are asking yourself "Should I blog anonymously or not?" maybe I can help. Here are some of the pros and cons I have found over the years for being anonymous and not:

When I was anonymous I could ... talk about anything I wanted as long as it didn't reveal where I live or work, or what our names were. I could tell embarrassing stories about anyone and pretend it happened to me. It was like writing fiction sometimes, and although I never really outright lied about anything, I most certainly could have. I could be whoever I wanted, hide or reveal whatever parts of my life were convenient to the stories I was telling, and be as mysterious and alluring as I wanted to.

I didn't have to worry about getting weird internet stalker people, which I think is a secret concern of most beginner bloggers. Maybe it's conceit or the media or something that told me that if I put my name and where I live on the internet I'm gonna get killed by a crazy person. (It hasn't happened yet!)

I had a larger readership much faster than I do now because I wasn't afraid to tell awful embarrassing stories about myself, conversations I had, stuff that happened at school...that kind of thing. I never did, but a lot of anonymous bloggers are much freer to talk about their sex lives, things they hate, and just stuff they'd be afraid to say out loud in their every day lives. Which, of course, makes them quite popular reads.

But I could not ...  share or really honestly connect to other bloggers. It was fun for a long time ... until I started doing things I wanted to tell everyone, like getting tattoos or cutting off my dreadlocks...things that needed photos to accompany them or more details than I could really give.

Also, even though to you non-bloggers out there this might sound cheesy or really nerdy, after a few months of emails and comments back and forth, reading each others lives and connecting, there were a few people I really wanted to get to know, and ultimately to be friends with. I  felt like I was hiding information and would never really connect with these people, which was hard because I would see them forming real relationships through their blogs in a way I could not achieve and I would feel envious and left out.

I was also proud of what I was writing. I was funny! And nobody in my real life knew about it. It was a secret that became more and more difficult to keep out of conversations. I was feeling stifled using only text and fiction, and that made the entire thing break down.

Near the end of my anonymous blog I actually started "breaking character", becoming penpals with bloggers, adding some of them to my facebook, and telling some people from my real life that my blog existed.

My blog identity became muddled, because to some people I was a real person and to others I was a secretive anonymous blogger. It was becoming increasingly more work to write, because I basically had two sets of readers. The "real people" and the bloggers who didn't know me. I ended the blog after about a year and a half. It was actually a kind of tough decision, and I felt such a loss that I immediately started up this one.

 Cartoon via Pam Cranford's blog.

Now that I'm a 'named' blogger, I can ... be myself. Truly myself. I can share all the million photos I take every day, I can talk (tastefully) about things that are happening in my life: at work, at home, in my family, what my friends are doing, etc. I can use my real name and address and be pen pals with whomever I like.

People come into my work and know me from my blog! It's really exciting when that happens. So far, no crazy murderers have contacted me, so that's a good thing.

If I write something I particularly like, I can tell my friends about it, and they can read it. I feel a lot lighter and happier about the entire process because it doesn't feel like I'm constantly keeping secrets. I feel like my readers like me for who I am, not because I'm the swear-word-iest or the raunchiest or the most secretive. I'm just putting me out there and there is a positive response, which feels good. It's all fun, not work.

But I can not ... say everything I want to. I would love to tell more of the crazy stuff that happens in my everyday life, but I won't if it's offensive. Obviously. I always have to consider who will be reading what I'm saying. This blog is linked through my work's website, which is what I think about the most ... what if somebody is trying to get a feel for the tattoo shop and they come across some spiteful petty rant from the shop manager? I also know my dad and my sister are readers. What would they think? It's still kind of a balancing act. Usually I just err on the positive side of things and it all works out. Or I go by the mantra:

If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all. (Unless it's really funny.)

---

 Cartoon via Social Licks blog

---

So...what's wrong with switching your blog from anonymous to 'named'? 

I guess nothing. Except I have found that after years of reading anonymous bloggers, I am always always always let down by their true personae. They are never who I built them up to be in my head. It's like watching the movie version of your favorite book; the characters you imagined are so much better! 

Recently a blogger I read on the regular posted a picture of herself. After years of anonymity. I had, partly because she had a sexy pin-up lady as part of her header design, built her up in my brain to be this absolutely gorgeous, brilliant, glamorous individual. And although there is absolutely nothing wrong with her or the way she looks, and her writing style hasn't changed very much, she is nowhere near the movie-star/genius/ninja/supermodel/adventurer I had imagined. She's just a normal person. 

It's like, being an anonymous blogger invites this kind of fill-in-the-blanks kind of reading, and over the years I really made her into a super-human entity. And now I am completely disillusioned and don't want to read about her every day life.

I think that in order to make the transition, you really have to start anew. I haven't been satisfied with a major blog-shift yet. This is why it's important to really consider the anonymity level of your blog from the beginning. You don't want to build up a relationship and then pull the rug out from underneath it one day when you become bored with what you've created. Because it's about more than just you. It's about trust and friendship, or at the very least, it's about consistency and stability. 

Anyway, it's something to think about. Good luck! 

---

 

Do any of you know of a great blog that made the big transition successfully? 

I'd love to hear about it and see how they did it!

Danielle's Letter To The Blogosphere

Danielle writes one of my number one favorite blogs; Sometimes Sweet. In this post of hers, she really hits the nail on the head regarding what it is about blogging that keeps us all coming back. It's not all narcissism and confessions after all.

Anyway, I think it's a must read for bloggers and non-bloggers.

Enjoy, and you should follow her blog if you don't already, she's fantastic.

(image source: the damn post you should go read)

Sometimes vintage is just creepy.

Especially when it comes to Christmas decorations.

These are so cool! My neighbor hasn't taken them down yet and I'm glad I had the chance to see these. Especially the Santa on the door!

 

Remember kids: Santa could just be Satan in disguise!

 via

How to...make Mr.Noodles delicious

Well folks, if you're reading this on the 16th, then I'm on my way to somewhere warm and communist. I'm probably stuck in a line-up at customs or trying to read a book with an excited tummy in an uncomfortable chair at this very  moment! Since I'm away, I've scheduled this (and many more) posts to appear. 
Later alligator!
---

Are you poor? Totally broke? 

Can only afford a three dollar meal? 

Do you like the flavor of chip dip? 

Ever wonder what it'd be like on noodles?

Well, thanks to a friend of mine, I have learned the solution to all these questions.

MISTER NOODLES. With sour cream in it.

No, really.

Here's how to make an unhealthy, fattening and completely delicious meal. (snack?)

--------------------

Step one:Go to the grocery store. 

Step two: buy a package of Mr.Noodles 

for like a dollar. 

I like the vegetable flavor. 

Step three: take the flavor packet out of the package.

Step four: steal a little of your roommate's/significant other's 

sour cream from the fridge. 

Step five: combine them.

Step six: tell your dog he can't have any

even though he's so cute.

Step seven: throw the noodles in some boiling water.

Step eight. wait like three minutes until 

they're all noodley and not in a square anymore. 

Step nine: Drain the noodles, 

throw 'em in the bowl with the sour cream/flavor mixture. 

Step ten: ENJOY!

Like I said, it kind of tastes like chip dip with noodles, but you know what? If you're literally broke and have been eating ramen for days anyway, this is a nice way to change it up.

The Countdown ... THREE DAYS

I'm so excited up in here...today is my last day at work, then I pack tomorrow (anyone have some EXTREME LIGHT PACKING advice? I need to pack for super hot and then mega cold weather in one backpack.) and then Wednesday I take off on a big adventure!

I've begun scheduling posts for the days I am away because I'm not sure how much internet access there will be where I am going, especially the first week and I don't want you all to get bored of me and forget I exist.

But seriously, if anybody can offer any advice on the following subjects, I'd be grateful.

1. What would you pack if you were going somewhere hot and then somewhere cold?
2. Have you ever hired a car/driver in Cuba? What's the best way to do so?
3. Film cameras vs expensive digital...what should I bring with me? All of them? (haha)
4. Traveling in Cuba (or any country really) as a woman and/or a heavily tattooed person. Advice?
5. How to deal with missing your boyfriend too much while you're away. (haha I know, I know, total cheese-fest)
6. What's a nice cigar to bring back as a gift? I don't want to get suckered into buying some crappy thing, because I have no idea! Help!
7. What to do on a super long flight/traveling day...how to deal with airports, stress and TEN HOURS.
8. Traveling with a large group of people you hardly know to a tourist destination... I've never done this before as an adult. Should I bust out my fanny pack, socks with sandals, and khaki shorts?

I would love to hear your stories and advice on these topics!

tizzent the season yet.

It's December. In case you were not aware.

Most of you are probably all Christmas spirit, or debating the use of "x-mas" (I'm for it, by the way.) or buying presents or feeding people at homeless shelters. You're probably dreaming of sugar plums, sugar cookies, sugar candy canes...Joy to the World...Santa and Jesus holding hands at the North Pole looking out over a field of x-mas trees and mangers and children singing about drummer boys and making snow angels.

Or snow angles.  If you're that type of nerd.

But not me! Guess where my brain is.

Go ahead. I'll wait.






...no, that's not it!





...nope, not that either.







...okay, why don't I just tell you?

I'm going to CUBA in two weeks!

Here's what I think of when I imagine Cuba. (Thanks, Hispanic studies class.)

I have no idea what contemporary, touristy Cuba is going to be like. Probably more like this:

 

We are going to the most touristy city you can possibly imagine. I don't even know if it's a city, it might just a pile of resorts on beaches where we're staying.  I wish we were going to have more time, we're only going for a week, so other than a quick trip to Havana there's not much time to plan anything else. I'm going to do my research this week and see what else the island has to offer. It's going to be super fun no matter what, even though I'm really not a lie on the beach and suntan and drink booze all day kind of vacationer, because I'm going with my sister and her boyfriend (who's never ever been on an out-of-Canada-or-Northern-USA vacation), and my dad and step-mom, who are really fun. 

We are also going with like ten other people, some of whom I don't know very well or at all, including someone's girlfriend, her ex husband, the kid they had together and the ex-husband's wife...I asked my dad if we were secretly filming a reality show or what...that might get interesting.

Have any of you been to Cuba before? Any suggestions? Travel tips? Things I must see? Please let me know! Any input would be very valuable, as, like I said, we're only there for a week! I want to make the most of it. 

rediscovering the paper journal

There are things a person just shouldn't put on the internet. It's different for everybody. For some, fights with the significant other are excellent for driving their blog traffic up, for others it's a secret not even their best friend knows. Some people love calling out people at their place of work, airing their beefs with family and friends in front of the entire internet, and making harsh jokes at the expense of people they encounter in their daily lives.

Those people are brave. Because people have a way of stumbling upon things.

I'm pretty careful on this blog. It seems like the only victims of my writers-rage have been bus riders...and I do hope they have all found what I've said about them and learned that they are total idiots who should not be allowed out without a handler and sedatives.

When things happen that make me angry, I'm talking REALLY angry, or stressed out, like REALLY stressed out, I have to work it out. Usually Ryan makes a great sounding board. From reading Cosmo magazine as a girl I thought I'd never find someone who listens so well and speaks with such a clear head, but Ryan is the best. He'll play devil's advocate, he'll offer suggestions or he'll just listen and give me a hug once I shut up.

Sometimes though, somebody listening still isn't enough.

I'd love to blog all day long about stuff that happens, things that hurt my feelings or rude comments that I can't forget...but it's too personal. I'd also love to vent daily about how much EFFING BUREAUCRACY AND BULLSHIT is involved in paying back my student loans, and how very very very frustrated I am with the entire process. WHY DOESN'T THEIR WEBSITE EVER WORK? RAAH ... I'd love to say stuff about that every single day. And my financial woes...oh yeah! I'd love to bitch about that all the time!

I don't talk about these things for four reasons:

1) They're negative, and I'm really trying to focus on the happy side of the coin. (I'm going to CUBA in a few weeks! My brother is in town! My life is pretty awesome!)

2) They're boring for the reader. Have you ever read a blog that is like "omg I have so much homework." "Ah, bills, they're so hard to pay." It's just a reminder of all the same crap that's going on in my own life. Boring! The blogs I love the most are the happiest, prettiest and funniest ones. Would you buy a magazine full of headlines like "Car payments are expensive" and "my husband watches too much football"? I wouldn't!

3) They can jeopardize my real life relationships. This is the most important one. Have you ever found a blog that disses you? I thought I had once. It was one hurtful sentence that could have been directed at me, until I delved deep into the syntax and found that it was talking about someone with the same job in the same city as me, but in a different shop. But for a split second I was very upset. I don't want to make anybody feel that way except for the jerks on the bus who ruin my day. Because seriously. Yeah. I hate them.

4) I don't want to.

Lately, quite a few blogs I read have mentioned the whole "how much of my life do I show the reader?" conundrum. I'd like to think that people would show us the best parts of it; the happiest moments, the most interesting discoveries, the best photos, the funniest conversations...do your best. It's fun to give a little piece of yourself to the world via blogging...just don't give too much.

And this is where the journal comes in. Ahhh sweet paper journals, how I love thee.

Paper journals are the answer.

You can say whatever you want. And nobody will know. I love working things out on paper. I make lists, budgets, I say really mean things that sometimes get crossed out or torn up, I draw (really ugly) pictures of things, and sometimes just the act of putting that crap on paper can help make it seem more manageable.

Online journals can become messengers of hatred and spite if you're not careful. There's a fine balance between feeling good about what you write and saying what you want. How can a person be themselves on the internet? I don't believe they really can.

But, with the right attitude and a little self restraint, they can show bits and pieces of themselves. Here's what I've been telling myself lately to get out of my little attitude slump I've been having.

Do your best. 

Be thoughtful.

Be kind.

Don't worry, it'll all work out.

Take time for yourself.

Write in that damn journal, not on the internet. 

:)

Advice to everybody: stay outta my way!

I don't know if it's stress, my chronic tooth pain or the change in weather or what, but  boy have I been a grumpy jerk lately. I feel like the world is out to get me, everybody  is a bunch of lazy mean rude idiots (except for me, of course), and nobody could possibly understand how hard it is to be me. I want to pick fights with everyone I know, lay around in bed all day and avoid all human contact. I'm angry, annoyed, tired and bitchy.

In short, I am being ridiculous, and I know it.

I've been trying to have a positive outlook, tell myself about the silver lining to every crazy person on the bus, etcetera, but it's not working. It's a serious case of super depressing humdrums.


Do any of you have any surefire cheer-you-up methods? Tell me! I need a serious pep-talk or something!

On novel writing

It's so frustrating...I've got like TWENTY FIVE THOUSAND words down (it sounds like more in caps I think) but it's all short story-ish. I'm aiming for a novel, not a ... compilation. Nothing is going together right.

Have any of you ever written an entire book? Did you plan it out before hand or just ... start? I have a bunch of good pieces, but it's useless without a theme or something.

Maybe I need to plan more and start again.

Advice? Consolation?

I've finally learned...

Img via Ben Crick